Is It Naptime Yet

So Yesterday was the day I exposed myself to the world. Even though it was his choice I still worry about judgment in the years to come from those who do not understand or refuse to try. To be able to talk openly about it is a relief, but as we are exposed it can bring deeper hurt and opportunities for new judgment. Most people I know send love and support. I am grateful for that. In a way I worry about my own judgment and self doubt, not others. I hope to come out of this stronger. I hope to help my children choose a good path. I worry that I will be lost and then my own will also. I wish away my situation but it still lingers and longs to be dealt with. I know my husband says he loves me but I’ve never felt more alone as I do now.

I feel as though my inadequacies are being measured.
I feel as though I have to begin anew.
What I thought has been taken from me.
What I knew has been altered till unrecognizable.
I am naked before myself, yet all I see is nothingness.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 18th, 2007 at 5:34 pm and is filed under Faith, Jon's change, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.