Telling the parents
Jon told his parents Saturday that he is no longer participates in church and doesn’t have a testimony. He didn’t go as far has stating he doesn’t believe in Satan or God, but at least they know the basics and won’t be getting the information from some other source.
His mom has taken it really hard. We expected that. He is her little boy and the one she’s depended on for along time. She called me this afternoon and I can tell that she one, wants me to stay with Jon in hopes that I can help him come back and two in thought that if I do leave him he would then give up altogether. I don’t know if he mentioned his analogy of how when converts sometimes become members their families get upset and disown them. She related how she understands how sad it can be to have a deep faith in a religion and then to have your child say they don’t believe is heartbreaking. She’s going through a lot of heartache. They have two daughters that are not active members but they’ve been this way since their teen years. She’s just relied a lot on Jon and it hurts to see him go through this change.รย I tried to say that even if it takes a long time for him to come back, if he ever does, it’s really on his own that it will happen. She blamed herself a little wondering if she leaned on him too much at times, like after his father’s heart attack. I tried to say that he was given a good foundation and it was him who made this decision. Maybe it will be for the better. Now I’m forced to be a stronger member and to gain a sure testimony. Where as before I was just going along. I still feel as though I am just going by. I wonder what I have to do in order to be sure of everything. I wonder about the work and dedication and if I have it. I wonder if it will be enough for my own children.
I worry about the phone calls. I hope to have strength to tell her to stop calling if it becomes to interfering or weighs me down. In some weighs I’ve tried to just move on and not dwell anymore, though we still have our problems. I worry that her worries will actually hurt our relationship. Worries about me staying, though she feels that I will, or worries about him and what she’ll do now that her rock as transformed and is something she does not completely know.
She a wonderful woman she just worries.
I am doing well. I’m actually craving another baby. I look at Eden and think how I was pregnant with her when Lilah was this age. I look at her and think how young she is and howรย Lilah was still so young when I had her. I love my girls and I’m just getting a little baby hungry. I tell myself I’m not ready now to have that stress enter and that helps. I tell myself that if I’m careful Heavenly Father won’t give me a baby before I am ready. I hope that I’m ready for whatever happens.
March 5th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
I wish you’d been at the Saturday night session of stake conference – President Seastrand talked about exactly that thing and how dangerous it can be just to coast along in the gospel and wth our testimonies. He challenged us to be better and more diligent and get out of that comfort zone because in that comfort it is easy for Satan to tempt us.
I remember about a year ago I would go along from day to day planning the next thing (whether it was a primary activity or my month to do sharing time or a trip out of town or a birthday or people coming in town or whatever event/thing) and I kept thinking to myself “when things slow down… or when will things slow down… or whenever I get things under control or good at this…” I remember finding a scripture that said “Wo be unto him that is at ease in Zion! Wo be unto him that crieth All is well!” (2 NEphi 28:25-26) I just looked it up so I could quote it right. Anyhow it hit me hard in that things will probably never get easier and if they do I’m in more trouble!!! Not exactly comforting but at least an answer to my questions.
Anyway in some strange way I feel comfort just knowing that to be the case. Good luck!
Love, Em
March 8th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Emelie,
I hesitate to comment because I feel that I no longer have a right to offer scriptural interpretation, especially contrary one backed up by personal insight. But your comment made me think, and I worry about the culture of busy-ness in the Church.
If we read the context of the scripture (2 Nephi 28:19-23), it seems that it is warning against complacency in the war against Satan (exactly what President Seastrand was talking about, I assume), not against having time to yourself, time to meditate on the gospel.
My mission president, Elder Marlin K. Jensen, taught all of us to take time to sharpen the saw (an insight borrowed from Stephen R. Covey). If you’ve never heard the analogy, if a lumberman never took a break from his work to sharpen his saw, the work would become more and more tiring as his saw became more and more dull. The most effective people take time to rejuvenate so they can give their best selves to the work.
Anyone who is serious about their relationship to Christ must take the time to cultivate that relationship. Sure, part of that cultivation is through service to others, but another essential part is taking time to meditate on his teachings. If you don’t have time to yourself to do that or to rejuvenate and recreate yourself in other ways, you’re running faster than you are able. Burnout doesn’t serve anyone’s purposes.
The Church in recent years has been trying to pull people away from this brink. We’re hearing more from the GAs that time serving the Church must be balanced by time spent with the family. (No, serving in the Church is not equivalent to serving your family.) Too much time spent in Church callings becomes neglect of family. They even went so far as to give suggested weekly times of how much each calling should generally require. I’m happy to see this attitude at the top levels of the Church.
We’re also beginning to hear that magnifying your calling isn’t about going the second mile to the detriment of other obligations, but rather simply fulfilling the basic requirements of your calling.
So let me suggest that God’s purpose isn’t to keep his children frazzled with no time to stop and think and strengthen their understanding of His world. Jesus offered his followers peace, and if they aren’t feeling it, it’s time to reevaluate and reprioritize and learn to artfully say No.
If you’ll take the loving suggestion of this heretic. ๐