Is It Naptime Yet

This weekend I had a couple of events where I saw people from my past.

The first was a baby shower for a peer whom I’ve known since we were about eight or nine. Our parents are good friends and our families got together each Christmas for a period of time. We were also in the same Stake growing up and went to the same middle and high school.

I had seen Anne at the retirement party for my choir teacher. She was pregnant and I made sure to tell her I’d love to go to her baby shower. I love baby/bridal showers and will use any excuse to go to one.
It was a fun shower. Even though I didn’t win any games, I’m so competitive, my friend Sarah won twice and gave me one of the prizes. (It was a close call as to whether I had the diaper or whether she still had the diaper for “musical diaper” and since she won she gave me one of the prizes.)

It was a good time and I saw old friends.

The other was a wedding. It was for a young lady I grew up with. We were in the same ward while my family lived in Vegas, or the house I grew up in. We never really got along completely though. Something bothered her about me and her bossiness is what bothered me about her, plus the fact that she never liked me and I always wondered what it was I did to cause those feelings.  We avoided each other outside of church until high school, where we had the same circle of friends, and towards the end of our senior year we finally got along and understood each other a little more, even if it was for just a few months.

One specific memory I have is sitting around the campfire pit at girls camp as a YCL (youth camp leader or age 16). The previous year the Stake had changed camp so you were with all the girls your own age. Compared to previous years where you were with your own ward and Sunday church leaders. (You had first through fourth year campers in the ward camp. YCL, or your fifth year,  was normally the first year with all the girls your own age because they helped do activities and run the overall camp. Once changed to camp by years all the first years were in one part of the camp with leaders from a specific ward and all the second years were together etc. and you may or may not be with leaders from your own ward. I know it’s all kinda confusing and I’m not explaining it that well if you’ve never been.)

The point being within the ward camp  setting fourth years would originally be the ones over the ward camp and the responsible ones for helping the younger girls.  On the last night each ward camp leaders would chose a young woman to receive the white rose award from their camp, or an award for being Christlike, and it was usually a forth year from that ward. It was something our stake did.
With changing camp our forth year we were tossed with leaders that we didn’t know and all the girls our own age, thus making receiving the white rose award harder.

While sitting around the fire pit, again this is our fifth year or YCL year, talk turned towards the white rose award since it was towards the end of the week. This young woman said how she felt gypped out of the award last year because she would have “totally gotten it had we been in ward camps”. I said excuse me, because her and I were the two and only fourth years in our ward and thus it probably would have been given to her or me and she said that she could have wooed our leaders to like her best during camp even if they favored me at church.  Where as we were with leaders that didn’t know her and it was between all the girls that level rather then just two. I found it funny that she would say that to my face while in this group. We were also only 30 or so feet away from the leaders camper who where taking naps at the time.

Anyways I also found it ironic because I received the white rose award that year, along with one other young women in our YCL camp. We had the same leaders from our fourth year, and honestly I had just been myself, which made it that more special to receive the award for myself.

Side note: I remember the leaders giving examples of things I had done that week and crying before they said my name, they also do a program and different things that get you crying before hand anyways. My friend Elizabeth was sitting next to me and I remember her giving me a smile and saying they were talking about me. For example, and this is for posterity not my own puffing up,  they said how I had helped a homesick first year, and a stake leader happened to see my friend and me comforting her. I had also stayed behind while some of the other girls went to town because their wasn’t enough room in the car plus I watched over our camp while they were gone. I took over being a secret sister for a first year who’s YCL secret sister hadn’t come to camp. Things I did just because they needed to be done, though I would have gone to town had there been room.
My prideful side says “Yeah,  I got the award while you didn’t because you’re a fake.” While that really shows I’m not too Christlike and only wanted it for the recognition. I’m sure she’s forgotten all about it and the words she said.

So for most of our relationship we weren’t the best of friends and it went very much like the above, a competition, though I’m not sure what we were competing for.

Our senior year we were in two choirs together. For some reason we got along a little better. I felt her cheer me on with my nervousness of singing in front of people during some solo days and she saw me get angry at people and enjoyed that I wasn’t always the “Nice Lacey”.  We were finally being nice to one another, though I would say she was finally being nice to me.

The nicest thing she ever said to me was senior night for choir. Usually on the last road trip of the year there is a senior bus coming home. Each senior would be on the bus and they could bring one underclassman. This year our trip was in April and it was just too early in the year so Mrs. B did senior night. It was  a few days after the choir concert and my nervous solo. As part of the night Mrs. B would say something nice and each person around the circle would also have time to say something about others. It was to be only kind words and uplifting.
This young woman, whom I felt very little approval from and did not get along with, said the nicest thing and the only thing I remember from that night specifically.
She has sung and performed since she was a small child. Her mother is an amazing singer and she is also.
She said how she had long gotten over any stage fright, but how she was so proud of me for performing and doing so well despite my nervousness. It was one of the few times I felt genuine kindness and sympathy from her towards me.

It was a good ending.

I saw her in a psychology class in college that we shared, but it was the semester I got married and I wasn’t there as much as I should have been. That would be the last time I saw her till at the choir concert in May and retirement party for our choir teacher. She was engaged and I got her number but never called her to give her my address. I called another friend and was able to find out the date, time, and place and I went to the reception Saturday night.

It was odd to be there. It seems that the many years of not liking each other is what sticks. We have few close times and not many happy memories of being together as friends.

I’m not sure why I wanted to go besides that I wanted to be there to show support and I hope she knows that even though we didn’t get along I still want her to find happiness and joy.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 10:49 pm and is filed under Friends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.