What motivates you?
What motivates you? This is a pretty open question. What motivates you to get up in the morning? What motivates you to exercise or eat healthy, neither of the two do I have a relationship with. This is a post about what motivates you to do things, or me to do things, since this is my blog and I’m very narcissistic.
I will not lie. I am most motivated to do things for the praise or approval of other people. Of course I do do things sometimes because they just have to be done, but I don’t always go the extra mile to make sure they’re done in a timely manner. Ask my husband. He has fabric napkins that he wants me to cut down and make into more napkins so he can take them to work, rather than a paper one each day. (I’ve created a go green monster!) These napkins were suppose to be his birthday present, and that was at the beginning of May. I’ve been greatly sidetracked by other projects that also deal with sewing. Plus, after sewing 140 panels I’m not really wanting to sew straight seams into napkins, give me something creative!รย I sew for others above my husband or myself, I clean when I know people are coming, probably the things that irks Jon the most, and I love teaching adults because they’re much better at praising appreciating you when you give a good lesson.
Anyways, today I had a moment where I thought the following: Why am I not a better homemaker? If only we really had ordered the brackets for our table and finished it and the chairs so we could have a nice dining set, rather than the old table we bought used and folding chairs. Why isn’t my house cleaner? If only I was motivated to clean while I’m up late, or motivated to get up early.
You ask why I was so down on myself. Well, the one woman whom I think is the epitome of the perfect woman visited my house. I’ve never been to her house, but I know her daughter and her daughter is a very neat woman, so I assume she is too. Plus, she’s so well put together and very elegant and I just don’t know how to act or what to say to her and I often say the wrong thing.
I didn’t know she would be coming over, otherwise I would have told her granddaughter to come over tomorrow while I feverishly cleaned my house tonight. I thought it would be the daughter and the mother coming over, not the granddaughter and the grandmother. She sat right where she could look into my kitchen and see all the dirty dishes that I just hadn’t gotten to this morning. She was very polite, as always, and I think she didn’tรย judge me, but lets be real, we all judge a little, but she is what I want to be when I’m older. She’s cool, she dresses her age, but very hip at the same time, she always says the right thing, is very spiritual and I’m sure her house is always neat, though the fact that she has no children at home, no young grandchildren, and her husband works out of state during the week helps it to stay clean.
I’ve just been in a rut since the play. My house was a big disaster then, and is just less of one now. I am still sleeping in too late and only doing what needs to be done, with a few exceptions.
I’ve just decided that I now need to clean my house and get my life together, rather quickly, in case I ever have the epitome of the perfect woman in my house again.
But maybe I should really just do it for my family and myself first.
What motivates you and why?
July 14th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
I’m sure it was fine for her. Usually people who you “think” are put together are not. Plus she once had young kids at home and knows what it was like. You are to hard on yourself.
July 14th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
By the way I don’t like being called a grandmother ๐
July 14th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
So we were left town Wed. evening and came back Sunday evening (just in time to run to a fireside). Brien left town on Monday morning, he’s back on Wed. (just in time to go to a “trek” stake activity). I didn’t shower on Mon. and today (Tues.) I had to put on my “previously worn, but not washed” jeans because the one load of laundry I did on Monday somehow didn’t have any pants or shorts and they were all dirty. I also had to search for the last piece of clean underclothing after I showered this afternoon. That motivated my to do a load of laundry, but I still need to do another load so I’ll have underclothes.
I try to multi-task, I try to “reward” myself for doing chores by letting myself also work on something I want to do. But it’s hard to have the job of homemaker. At work you have different situations arise; at home that means that you have a variety of stains to try to remove or you have to wash some dishes by hand because they didn’t get clean in the machine. You have to figure out what’s affordable to feed to your kids and spouse.
I try to remind myself that I feel better in an orderly house. When it’s in order it’s supposed to be easy to keep up. That doesn’t always work when there are little kids around.
It’s late, that’s probably why I couldn’t stop typing to you.
July 15th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Yeah, you’re the hottest grandma I know and a wonder of science.
July 15th, 2009 at 9:19 am
There are some things that we don’t have to motivate ourselves to do. We love to do them and would do them all the time if we could. Household chores, regrettably, are not one of those things for most of us. They’re just part of the drudgery of being alive. Am I motivating you yet?
I suspect that we all have our own motivations. I’m motivated to exercise by a few things, chief among them is the realization that I will die someday. I want that day to be later rather than sooner so that I can continue enjoying life as long as it’s enjoyable.
As is pretty typical for me, one of the biggest changes in my motivation involved reading a couple books: The Now Habit and Getting Things Done. The first helped me to see that I procrastinated because I was afraid of the task and afraid of failure, not because I was lazy or a bad person. The second gave me the tools to clear my mind so that I could focus on what’s important in each moment. I’m still improving my motivation, but I’ve come a long way.
BTW, I’m still trying to pull my fair share of the household chores. I hope that you have enough time to do what’s important to you and to our family. It’s important to me that you’re happy and that you can focus enough of your energy on helping the girls to enjoy their lives.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
What motivates me? That good feeling I get when I know that I did all I could. ๐
July 16th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
So I’m the only one who has any external motivation? I do feel good when I’ve accomplished things, like finishing my degree, but I guess it’s icing on the cake when other people also take notice. I love sewing and I love when I’ve created something or done something well, but I also like people being impressed with things I’ve done.
I guess housework for me is something I do and there are times tidy the home just for us, but I admit I go the extra mile for others when I know they’re coming over.
I guess I’m the only person motivated by other people and what they think.
July 17th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Lacey you are not alone. I go the extra mile when I know people are coming over. I also love my job for the main reason of the praise I receive.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I am tired of being worried about what others think. The closer I get to thirty the more I am letting this one go. I know it’s hard, but it is so wonderful when you do…who cares if they don’t love what you create…you love what you create! If you function well in an unperfect house…then great! It works for you Lacey…
Honestly I wear pjs most of the day. I shower only cause it makes me feel better…If I felt better w/o a shower then I wouldn’t. My mother thinks I should get dressed. I don’t think it’s necessary, I’m more comfy in PJs.
I killed all the plants in my back yard pots this week cause I didn’t water them. I’d much rather be making bows, or doing dishes…, or chatting on FB, I’ll plant again in the fall when it is easier to keep up with…
Would you have even know these things if I hadn’t typed it? NO. Cause it doesn’t matter. Truth is most of us do clean up for others, you should see my house right now…