Archive for July, 2007


Announcing

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I teach Gospel Doctrine once a month in my ward.  I use to teach Relief Society once a month also, but they’ve recently released me from that calling.
I like teaching  for a couple of reasons. 1. I always get more out of the lesson and it fills my participation quota for the month. 2. It keeps me from doing certain frustrating sub jobs, even though I’m willing to help out, I know how misbehaved a class can be if they have a revolving teacher, especially in youth.

With teaching you also share a lot of personal experiences, especially in Relief Society. There were many times when I wanted to shout out that my husband was a disbeliever, but I knew that would have be an inappropriate time. “What was the lesson about today honey?” “Oh, I don’t remember, but Sis. Blake let us know that her husband is no longer a participating member of the church.”
I feel this way about Testimony meeting sometimes also. People often use it as an announcement session rather than a testament of Christ and his influence in their lives. Sometimes they air out dirty laundry and other times they just glorify their spouses. I admit I have done the later on occasion, but my testimony was not solely about my husband.
There are times that I rather have people not know about my husband because I still go to him to help me explain a topic and he graciously and willingly gives me understanding or a thought on something he read that applies to what I’m teaching. I feel as if the masses knew about him they’d tune out once I said my husband gave me this perspective or they’d immediately start thinking about my husband being an unbeliever and wonder why I was going to him in the first place.
Anyways. I am at odds at letting everyone know about my husband, but then again how do I tell people about husband, and once more I don’t want the attention it might give.
I’m mostly over the impulse to shout it from testimony meeting or in class while I’m teaching. I think I went through it mostly because I was still angry or hurt. Also I felt deceptive teaching and talking about full member families or even part member and to have the majority in the room not know why I was getting emotional.
Now I just want to be over wondering who knows and is being nice and who doesn’t know. I wish I had a list of people that have been told. I don’t see those I’ve told to be gossips, so I’m pretty sure they’ve kept the information to themselves, but I often wonder what has been said in leadership meetings and who was there. When I was in the Primary presidency in my old ward, I sometimes had to fill in for the president at these meetings. It fascinated me to hear about different people and what we were doing for the less active or newly baptized members.
So I really don’t know who’s heard and who hasn’t. I don’t know if the persons reaction is just because they’re an airhead or because they’re rude.
Maybe I’ll bear my testimony next month. 🙂

“Lets go to the movies”

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

There are a few theaters in Vegas that do free movies in the summer for kids, well one free movie at a certain time and day of the week each week. They’re all films that are older and on DVD now. Today I decided to take the girls to see Cars on the big screen.
Jon mentioned how Eden doesn’t normally sit through a long film at our house and he was right. Eden didn’t sit through a long film at the theater either. She started squirming and occupying herself with mischief about half way through. She was a little bit of a pain, but it mostly was okay. I think I just need more snacks and something that she can do in the dark. Any ideas on that would be welcomed.
Lilah liked the movie but she had her fingers in her ears for about half of it. She doesn’t like loud noises and there are plenty of them in the theater version of Cars, engines roaring and loud singing. She said it was loud but she’d like to go back. She puts her fingers in her ears a lot. Mostly when we hear something load outside and whenever we go to a public bathroom. I try to kept her fingers out of her ears because who knows what germs are now growing in her earwax, but it doesn’t work. She hates loud toilets so she plugs her ears after she goes. Very lovely I know.

It was an okay experience. I think I’ll only try a couple more of the movies, not all four or five that I had planned.

Tantrums

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

The girls have been acting up. Well, really whining up. It’s been gradual, but ever since the Ely trip it seems to have multiplied. I’m not sure if Lilah is imitating Eden or if Eden is imitating Lilah, or if they’re both attention deprived.
Lilah has temper tantrums and gets upset at any answer that she finds to be bad. Eden cries at the drop of a hat sometimes.
It’s driving me a little nuts. Lilah I can try to reason with and talk to her about what she’s doing and helping her to recognize her negative behavior and temper tantrums. Eden it’s not so easy. She cries and it’s hard to explain to a 2 year old there are other methods of expressing herself. She doesn’t really talk that much so what other method does she have?
I’m just at odds. I made a rule today that when Lilah started throwing temper tantrums and getting upset she has to go to her room or go to time out. Whichever one just long as she understands her behavior is not acceptable. I told her and began implementing the rule after she got upset that she couldn’t eat her oatmeal. (I had tested it to see if it was still hot, and as I put it back in the freezer to cool she started shouting about being hungry and wanting to eat her oatmeal right now.) I sent her to her room but it seems that her bladder always kicks in when she gets a temper tantrum. I allowed her to go to the bathroom since I knew that she hadn’t gone, but I calmly explained the rule clearly to her about tantrums and the the consequence. I’ve mostly just been sending her and saying it’s because she’s having a tantrum, but if she calms down she didn’t always have to go to her room, especially with a bathroom break in between.
I just don’t know what to do with them. Their behaving badly with people around and I find that terrible. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because I want and would like for them to have a respect for other people. I would also like for them to behave well in general around me anytime.
Anyways, Lilah only had to go to her room once today. Partially because we weren’t home a lot and also because when she has had a negative reaction it’s less tantrum like, just a little rude, so I still need to work on it. With her less tantrum attitude I feel I can answer her calmly and then she responds calmly, where as with tantrums there’s no reasoning until you threaten with a consequence.
I know they feel as though they don’t have a lot of control over their lives. I’m sure Lilah feels controlled by me and I’m sure Eden feels controlled by Lilah and me. It’s hard work teaching your children how to communicate without resorting to just crying and being upset.

It’s going to be a semi busy week, so hopefully we can fix the tantrums.

This really is the worse they’ve ever been. My MIL even commented on how she’s never seen the girls disagree or fight over something as they had today while there. Of course they didn’t have a full on tantrum and she’s not always around because of making dinner or whatever, but the girls just feel it’s okay anywhere, any time to fight over things. Lilah is better in public, but if Eden starts it she’ll also fight over whatever it is.

It is kinda two problems, they fight over something and one or both throw a tantrum, or you give an answer they don’t like and they throw a tantrum. Eden is more of the fighting tantrum, while Lilah is more of the  wrong answer tantrum.