Archive for September 20th, 2009


Time to think

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

I’ve been sitting at the computer a lot lately, hoping there was something interesting to read, but mostly the blogs trickle in and Facebook only amuses for so long. Then I thought, hey why don’t I write something since I haven’t really written about what’s going on in our life lately. Not that it will be super interesting, but at least it’s then documented.

The top priority is homeschooling. It encompasses so much, but at the same time it does not fill a lot of our time. I’ve been mostly good about homeschooling on the days I’ve had planned, but I have had hang ups when we’ve been sick, or when I get the drive to do something other than home school. Like Friday I had to make strawberries as a thank you to the family who let us use their house for Eden’s party. I had yet to do something for them because they were out of town the Friday I made them for Jon’s co-workers. So instead of home school we gave thanks to someone for their kindness, even if the girls may not have gotten that’s what we were doing with all the running around to buy strawberries, toothpicks and boxes to put the berries in. Then they each got $1 while there just for the heck of it from Carolyn’s boss.  I saw it as an off day, but I just shrug it off. I’m still getting into formally homeschooling a few days a week and baby steps is all I have planned. I know that I’m still doing better than what I did last year and I know I’m seeing progress. (Eden’s read the first 5 Bob books of the first set and Lilah is trying to improve her spelling skills all on her own, even if she doesn’t like the actual act of writing too much.)

I admit I’m still easing into the fact that four out of the five days of my week I’m devoted to school. I can run errands or make appointments for the mornings, but overall I try to just stay home ’cause it’s easier that way.

I’m also having a hard time with being home and not wanting to clean more than I have to. I’m hitting a wall in a few areas of my life. I want a clean organized home, but I don’t want to put forth the effort. I want to lose just a little bit of weight but I don’t want to work out or stop eating sweets. I want things to occupy my time, but I find little that interests me.

I’m just in one of my slumps, but it’s not a complete slump. I still feel good about homeschooling the girls and I still want to do things, I just don’t want to do everything and for some reason I just want to veg at night and not sew even if a really cute apron is just waiting to be cut out and sewn and a couple of bags.

I suppose home school is seen more as a necessity to me right now, kinda like the dishes. I have to have something to eat off of or cook with and I have to home school my children. It’s what I’m suppose to do to have my house run on the bare minimum.

It’s strange how you don’t realize you have a problem or are feeling a little less yourself until your write about it or talk to someone. I suppose I knew I was avoiding things, but at the same time, my avoidance is so second nature that it seems normal. I’m either too busy to do something or I’m avoiding it. The too busy times makes the things I’m neglecting normal to avoid, if that makes sense.

I wish there was some answer for continual motivation, or maybe a pill. I’d definitely buy that.