When I turned Eight…
June 1st, 1991 I was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a wonderful day, and I’m happy I chose to become a member of the church.
Lilah just turned 8 and the pressure sure is there to have her baptized.
Just for the record Lilah has chosen to wait, and if you’re surprised by this, then obviously you don’t know the situation of what is my life.
Just as I am not pressuring Lilah to be baptized, Jon is not pressuring her to not be baptized. Due to our mutual respect for one another and our desire to have a working marriage, we’re teaching our children and letting them choose for themselves and this includes allowing them to choose to be baptized or choose to not be baptized. This is something I have to accept, just as it is something he has to accept.
I don’t think everyone understands this. Lots of people expected me to have Lilah baptized right on schedule, which surprises me. I suppose I might not always talk about what is my religiously divided home, but hello! I live in a religiously divided marriage! You can’t expect everything to go peachy keen in what is the Mormon pathway of being raised in the Church. I know Heavenly Father knows my situation, and my heart, and thus I’m not just some parent neglecting my spiritual duty by not having my child baptized at 8, which she still is for another 354 days.
This is hard for me, but please understand that I love both my husband and daughter, and want what is best for my family, and right now what is best, is to allow our daughter to choose for herself. Because lets face it, just because someone is baptized at eight, it doesn’t mean they’re going to be members of the Church for life, and just because someone decides to wait, doesn’t mean they will never believe and never become a member.
June 29th, 2011 at 10:22 pm
I’m so sorry Lacey…this is so hard! {{HUGS}} And, not meaning to gloss over it, but not knowing what to say, really, I hope your next post is pictures from the play!
June 29th, 2011 at 10:22 pm
well put. we can all be better at letting children exercise agency. ๐
July 2nd, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Very well written. And, no matter how many parents in the home are LDS, a child should always have the power to decide for themselves when/if they will be baptized. I commend you for trusting Lilah to make her own choices.
July 5th, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Umm, I expected there to be a wait involved. Honestly, I thought that in your household it might be a preference to wait a little bit. (Even though we haven’t talked about it.) It’s interesting to note that if someone reads this then they should be familiar with your family and not surprised by these events.
July 5th, 2011 at 10:18 pm
It’s true Andrea that those who read are familiar with my family, but the thing is it’s been family that I’ve felt pressure from.