Is It Naptime Yet

Life has been busy. Carolyn, Kristi, and I are planning Andrea’s Bridal shower, and we’re also trying to include Christa, one of Andrea’s bridesmaids. She’s a sweetheart, but very busy, so she’s bringing the cake. Kristi is doing the food and Carolyn and I will be in charge of the games. I’m trying not to be to controlling. I have a tendency to do that, so I’m mostly giving suggestions. I have lots of time on my hands, though I should be using it to clean and organize my house, I instead got a list together of games and sent them to Carolyn, so we can decide what to do. It’s been busy. We also need to decide what to give away for the games. We’ll probably need to go out this next week, since it is this next Saturday.

Yesterday was sooo busy. I dropped Jon off at work, and he took Lilah with him, so I could run errands on campus, he works at UNLV. I had to get my minor declared, and I got advised for my last two semesters, and put in the starting work for my graduation application. I’ll have to go back and pick the packet up on the 27th. It took about an hour and a half since I was at the advising center for 45 minutes, it took them half an hour to get me in. Then just walking across campus with Eden and waiting in line at Student Services. Luckily Lilah just hung out on Jon’s and Andrea’s laps while they worked, and then played just a little with them. I just hope she wasn’t too much of a distraction. Their is no supervisor in the office and they all are salaried, but I don’t want to push the envelope. Jon wants to know when “Take your daughter to work day” is so he can take Lilah with him. (maybe I shouldn’t tell him). It’s fun that he enjoys her so much. It took forever on campus though, so I got to my parents late, at 10:30. Mom and I went shopping for fabric, I found some really cute embroidered fabric with a scalloped edge, for the girls dresses and my skirt for Andrea’s wedding. I will need to buy a top, which I planned on doing anyways. We also had lunch and stopped at Khol’s to exchange a top for mom, so it was an all day affair. I then picked Jon up at work, in which I fed Eden before we met Carolyn and Dominic ( boy she nannied) at Chuck E Cheese. Howard also brought Howie and Kaitlyn and a few people from Carolyn’s work came with their kids. Lilah loved playing there. Her and I played ski ball. (well she would walk the ball up and then throw it in, she mostly got the hole that had no points because it was close and she would place it there) She also took Jon around and they always ended up in the kid area with the little rides that move. She cried when we left, but I’m sure it was also because she was tired since she was woken up at 6:45 am and had only slept for a total of 25 minutes during the day, and that was even at two different points in the day. All in all we left home at 7:45 am and didn’t return until 8:55 pm. I’m surprised both girls held up so well.

I also found out that my blood work was normal, so I have no thyroid problem. I somewhat wanted there to be a problem, then I could blame the weight loss on something besides me, but I also wanted to have lost the weight naturally. I think I just have a problem with how much I have to eat. It’s just really hard to be eating all the time. I think I’ve created a slight mental block when I get hungry between meals. Because I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, I just don’t always have snacks when I’m hungry. I admit I also feel like a burden when I’m eating so much food, and sometimes their just isn’t anything in the house. I do not want to become too skinny, but I have a fear of gaining too much weight… as do most woman. I just hope I’m not creating an unhealthy mental thought process about eating. I remember after I weaned Lilah I cut back on my eating, as I should have because I was only feeding one person then, not two. But I remember it was hard to eat for two when I got pregnant. It was only three months earlier that I needed to cut down my eating and to start eating for two again was hard for me. I think I still have that same problem now. I seem to be steady inmy weight, so I think I’ll be okay. I know I’m intelligent enough to not fall victim to an eating disorder, but I worry that I will fall victim to a not eating enough disorder. Jon and I have talked about it and have set some rules for me. Mostly he wants me to have an egg in the morning with my meal, to give me something more hearty, and to have snacks between meals to keep me from going hungry. Also trying to buy more foods that appeal to me. (that’s where the burden part comes in. most things I like are more expensive and we are on a budget.) We’re going to look at our budget and figure things out. We’re not poor, we make enough to get by, but we’re still starting out so we have a tighter budget. I wouldn’t have it any other way though. Because to have more money I would need to work, and I don’t want someone else to raise my girls.