Archive for September 12th, 2006

whose more stubborn

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

My girls have been in their room for two hours. I’m going crazy!!! It’s nap time and they have not slept a wink. They were doing sooo well and then the week school started they decided to not take naps until 4 of 5 o’clock. I’m just so tired of it. Eden gets overly tired and then I have to be right next to her and lull her to sleep. Lilah falls asleep at 5 and then doesn’t wake up until 7 or 8, so she goes to bed at 9:30 or 10. I know daylight savings is coming in which we’ll be falling forward an hour and that will throw there no sleep charade even further out of whack.
I need them to take afternoon naps.
I like to take my showers in the afternoon so I’m freshly showered for my evening classes. I have side swept bangs that drive me crazy when I’m just at home dealing with the girls, so if I were to get up and do my shower before they awoke, or even when Eden takes her morning nap, I would end up pulling my bangs back, but I want to avoid that. It just drives me nuts when they go through these phases and won’t sleep. I’ve just let Lilah up. (It’s just after five) She is getting older and possible doesn’t need a nap. I try to run them around and get them tired out, it just doesn’t seem to work. There are days where Lilah gets soo moody and I can’t stand to have her around because she’s not sharing, she¬† bosses Eden around, or doesn’t listen to anything I say. She has a melt down whenever you ask her to do something, and so I figure she needs a nap…and then she’s awake for three hours before she falls asleep. ARG! Eden is still making plenty of noise. I’m debating getting her up. maybe a 7 o’clock bedtime, but I’m afraid how early she’ll wake up. it’s just frustrating. I try to spend time with them but I have so much work I have to get done for school, or just around the house. I feel like they want my attention all day long, unless they’re watching TV. I hate letting them watch so much TV. I try to limit it to 1 hour during the day. But lately it’s been whole movies or 2- 2 1/2 hours of PBS. I do break up the PBS, but I still feel terrible. I just feel stretched. I feel like they’re not being self sufficient. The afternoon is my time. I usually try to do more school, or house work. I also feel like I deserve to relax a little while I eat my afternoon snack, but I also feel guilty that I’m not doing work. I have a trip we’re taking this weekend, so since I won’t be home I have tons to do. ( two test this Friday before we leave, which means I have lectures to watch plus I have to study, and two short papers to write for my music class, and those will need reading.) I also have to get laundry done and pack, get my parents car and drop ours off in the shop. There’s just so much. I wish I had a second me to entertain the girls or at least regulate them. Some days are great. Lilah plays with Eden and they’re both happy, but those days or moments are few lately. I just need relief. I can’t wait for the weekend, because I know I’ll be able to relax most of the time(except the reading I’ll need to do for my sex offenders class because I won’t have time to do it this week). But to prepare for it is going to be crazy. Sorry I just had to vent.
(I’m also kinda beginning to ween Eden. Jon doesn’t want to keep her up at night just so I can feed her, so he thinks I should ween her. I’m not ready yet. Or should I say my breast don’t feel ready yet. I went one night without the night time feeding, she only eats twice now, and my breast wanted to explode at 3 am. Then my mammary glands were sore the whole day. I just hate weening. I believe going from two to one feeding a day is the hardest. After you get rid of the second one, the last feeding, I think, just gets smaller to where they lose interest and then I just have to pump a little for a few days and be in a little discomfort. I just fear mastitis like the plague, and I always worry that I’ll get it while weening. So I think that piles on more emotions to my already unorganized, an chaotic life.)