Archive for April 19th, 2008

On my mind

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

This week has been really busy, like I already blogged about.
In fact I was thinking of beginning to potty train Eden this week since Jon would be home but, since we had something to do every day except Friday, it was postponed.

Plus since we had something to do everyday but Friday the girls have been terrible, and I haven’t been the happiest mom.

It may sound weird but if they’re misbehaving I am usually grumpy and not wanting to give them attention, but sometimes they misbehave because attention, or time, is just what they need.

It’s kinda a vicious cycle.

They get attention or Mommy time and they’re fine -> They’re fine so Mommy finds things that need to be done and spends less time with them -> They get less time and start acting up -> Mommy gets mad that they’re acting up and wants to have alone time, or doesn’t have the energy to give them time because she’s too busy and they’re just acting up and she doesn’t want to reward bad behavior -> Mommy cools off and finally starts giving them more time and things get better, even if it took a day or two for her to be a happy mom again. -> All is well in the house and the girls get Mommy time. -> cycle begins again.

Thursday was just a bad day for me.

The girls started the day bickering. I got grumpy. We had a good class but right after we got home Eden got upset because she needed too eat her leftovers from the night before. I send her to timeout for not doing what I asked and afterwards she decides to take a nap and skip lunch. (She had woken up at 6:30 am and her allergies were bothering her this day. )
Lilah was okay during Eden’s nap, but I was already stressed because of  the chaotic house and feelings of being over whelmed, plus ornery children.

Lilah went outside and after Eden’s nap Eden joined her. They were playing fine but right before I was going to start dinner I go out and see that they’ve turned on the water. They’re muddy and Lilah’s shirt, which was mostly white, now had brown cuffs, since it was long sleeved. The shed got water in it, because that’s where the hose was, not on the grass, but running off onto our dirty, now muddy concrete and I lost it.

I was fed up with the back yard and water and swore that if they did it again they wouldn’t play outside for a week. Lilah’s feelings were hurt because she wasn’t listening and I pulled her into the house to clean her off. Eden gave Lilah hugs because I was too angry at them.

The backyard really gets to me because of how dirty the girls can get and how dirty our patio gets. The neighbor girls like to play back there with mine and about a week ago they had turned on the water and made a big mess.

Since the back yard is so crazy because of the sand box, in which it’s more of a dirt box and it just gets dirt onto our patio,  today we bought bricks to line it and play box sand to put in with the silt the girls now play with. We hope this will keep the dirt in the sandbox rather than our patio, and that the dirt will be less clingy to the girls and easier to dust off of clothing. ( If they play outside they have to change their clothes and get wiped down or given a bath because otherwise it gets everywhere. ) We also hope that it will make letting them play outside less of a stress on me.

Plus the neighbor girls have been coming over more regularly so my girls have been going through clothes and getting dirty on a regular basis and it’s just too much for this kinda neat freak mom when it comes to dirt, though I have plenty of dust in my house.

Things have just been weighing me down and that was my breaking point.

I’ve also realized that potty training was not the starting point to Lilah’s and mine battle of the wills. I was just potty training her at the age children begin being stubborn and hard to handle, or 2 1/2.  Eden has been this way half the week and it’s because she’s 2 1/2 nearly 3 and not because I’m potty training her and she’s stubborn, but just because she’s stubborn.

Writing about it brings back a lot of the stress I’ve felt, but I am doing better today and I’m going to start potty training Eden on Monday because we have little planned this week and I run out of diapers and will only have pull-ups.

Now I just have to get up at 6:30 am with her. 🙁
She did go potty in the toilet once on our trip. It was in the morning and since her diaper was dry I put her on the toilet. It’s kinda a hit and miss in the morning whether she has a dry diaper, but I’m hoping we can get some sort of recognition going since she  says she has to go potty but never does.

Wish me luck, but mostly wish me patience.