The light slowly appears after the rain

I just want to thank everyone for their love and support. This is a cheesy way to do it, but I’m grateful to have so many friends and family who love me.
I have known for a while about Jon. Most of the sadness is from having to tell others. I hate worrying others. I am doing okay.
I just feel shaken from a dream to a harsh reality of questions and choices. I am finding my strength from others around me.
I was able to go to the Temple Wednesday, so that was enjoyable. It was a session in which some from our Relief Society attended together so I was able to sit and talk with my Relief Society President, whom I have grown to love in this year in the ward, she helped to give me comfort.

Wednesday was just hectic. After having a relaxing morning at the temple and lunch I came home to the craziness of telling and bringing this change into the open. It was just so much.

I want to say and make it clear. Jon loves me. He is supporting me in my decision to stay active in the church. He is not trying to convert me to his beliefs. He is planning on sharing these ideas with our children. After all it is who he is now and I sympathize with him not wanting to hide who he is. I don’t like it, but I just hope that I am able to provide a sure foundation for my children with a belief in God and his love for them.

It’s interesting because I’ve heard a lot from his older sister Annie. Annie is one of Jon’s sisters and is eight years older than he. She and her family are not active in the church and we haven’t really had to many religious discussions. One reason for that is we only see each other at family gatherings, in which the parents are there. We usually don’t discuss religion, but even if it comes up she is respectful to our parents and tries not to disrespect their love for the church. I find it refreshing that we’re able to talk more about religion. In some ways I think I have a lot in common with her, and now I believe her and Jon have more in common.

I am finding my footing. I am finding my strength. I hope I can endure and find the truth for myself.
My heart aches when I have had thoughts that the church is not true. I see that as a sign that it is true.

I may just be using this as a coping mechanism, but I know there are many religions out there. I think many have truths to them. A leader in my life says it’s so Satan can lead them away from the true church. I think it is so people can find some solace in God in a way that helps them, or perhaps no God. At one point I could have seen his point. Now I see that even if someone is not a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day saints, and they wish not to be, then hopefully they are still living a good life. I think and know Jon will continue to live a good life. This new decision is what helps him make good choices. That’s fine.
The church at times can be restrictive and people can be driven by guilt and fear. I know I have had those times in my life. As I talked to one friend she mentioned how the church is really seen differently through each members eyes.
People adapt any religion to what they see is right for them. What brings me comfort may not bring you comfort. What motivates someone not to sin could crush the spirit of another.
I think I have found more love for those outside of my beliefs. I have more sympathy for those who do not believe as I do.
I hope Heavenly Father is merciful to all.

3 Responses to “The light slowly appears after the rain”

  1. brien Says:

    Andrea and I have been discussing this topic for a few weeks now (a little bird whispered this to us a little while ago). As caring family members it has been hard to know of the feelings your family has been going through. We love you all very much. As for me I can see how things will be different. I have asked most of the same questions and perhaps came to the same conclusions to some of those questions. There is much more gray in the world than most people want us to believe. It is up to us to determine which actions will make us happy. I am sure your family will continue to find happiness.
    Remember: You are always welcome in our home for short weekend vacations when ever your family would like (we love to see those cute girls of yours and compare their habits to those of our dog). We hope to see you all next month.

  2. Nice neice Says:

    I just have to throw in an opposing view to the one your “leader” gave you about the fact that there are different churches. I strongly believe that the LDS church is the only church with ALL the truth, but I also believe that other churches contain truth.

    In the gospel according to Shauntae, Heavenly Father inspires good men to do good things…for example, the writers of the constituton.
    As I see it, a loving God would provide ways for as many children to return to Him as possible. This might mean that other churches are there to help people be the best that they can in this life. It has been mentioned that our church is very restrictive. Maybe these other churches are to be seen as stepping stones, a bite-sized amount of truth, so that those who would not join our church would at least live good lives and learn truths that would help them better understand the true gospel whenever they hear it. (either in this life or the next)

    It is obviously my opinion and testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints contains the MOST TRUE teachings, and that this would be the church that Christ would have you join if you asked his opinion. But I don’t agree with the implication that all other churches are of the devil.

    My concern arises with the fact that once we have known the truth, denying it is a serious offense to our Heavenly Father. But apparently Jon believes that he never knew the gospel to be true, so I guess I understand why he feels the need to search for the truth. I very much appreciate your insistance and his willingness to keep his name on the records of the church, for it is my prayer that his searching will eventually lead him to see that he is the son of a Heavenly Father who loves him, that he was given the blessing of being born into a the true church, and that he will eventually return.

  3. ambah Says:

    I want to say ditto to the gospel according to Shauntae- mostly because that’s what the goseple according to Amber says as well. I also pray for a change of heart in Jon.