Family Size

My family gets together for Family Home Evening once a month. This year my mom decided to get the lesson topics from some LDS book and some are a little odd, like that there is a lesson on Family Size in the first place, which is what I had to teach this month. I think a did an alright job, but nerves and having a room full of adults and kids, who probably could care less, and having all but one family who have decided to not have any more kids, made it seem like an odd lesson to teach. I know I said it much better on a Face Book post when my friend asked me how I thought a person should choose their family size, so I’ll post that here.
A few things, like financial situation, mental and physical health of the mother, for example, and then after a couple decides, they take it to the Lord and see if he agrees. 🙂 Some know right away, others have to ponder and pray.

“The decision as to how many children to have and when to have them is extremely intimate and private and should be left between the couple and the Lord. Church members should not judge one another in this matter.”
From the Celestial Marriage institute manual:

The topics for this years FHE came from some LDS book, that I don’t have, nor have to use to give the lesson.

I’m approaching it from the standpoint that we’ve been commanded to multiply and replenish the Earth, but there’s more to it than just having a lot of kids. Ultimately, we should look to the Lord for guidance, but just as in some of other life situations, we have to search and ponder, and come to our own conclusions before we ask the Lord’s opinion, and he will grant us an answer, and what I listed before are good things to think about when deciding how large a family should be. The Church asks us not to go into debt, should we for one more child? If the mental or physical health of the mother is stretched, should she have another baby? Some know right away, but for others they have to go to the Lord for more guidance. Ultimately, we should not judge others choices, because it’s not our place, nor do we know the full circumstances.

Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve written about this sometime, but I’m also not sure I have either, I have 1,008 posts on this blog, now 1,009, and to do search on it seems tedious. So, I just wanted to maybe once again write about how we prayed for guidance to have Eden, since I shared it with my lesson. I do feel like both our girls were suppose to happen, and Heavenly Father provided a way for us, but especially for Eden.

When we were first married, and after we had Lilah we were pretty poor. Jon graduated right before Lilah was born, and was not able to find any jobs. He was a student worker, which had been a huge blessing, but then had to be let go by July, due to not being a student any longer. It was really hard to have a new baby, and no work. He did do some odd jobs working on websites, but we still had very little money and lived of savings. Eventually he got a job at Computer Ed Institute, I would say around September 2003. He worked there till March 2004, and was then laid off because he only had one student. We were once again unemployed. We prayed and prayed for work. Jon went in for lots of interviews, and got some odd and end type jobs, but the best he had was a job creating e-mails for businesses, basically spam, but it didn’t really pay all the bills. We made it by because of savings, grant money, and maybe even a student loan at this time, since I was still going to school.

Lilah turned one in June 2004, and things were still not looking good. It was hard to live off so little, but we did it. We had one car, so I stayed home all day long, and we ate on like $25, or less, per week. I remember being so careful each time we went grocery shopping. Soon after Lilah turned one we started thinking about when we would have another child. We had wanted them two years apart, and needed to have them in the summer, so I could attend school in the Fall. As the summer went by we realized that in order to have another baby, we needed a job. We changed our prayers from “Help Jon find a job,” to “We want another baby, help us find a way to have another baby.” In August Jon got a call from UNLV asking him to come in for an interview. Earlier in the year he had applied for a position in DARS, as did my sister Andrea since there were multiple openings, but hadn’t been hired, Andrea had. Rather then advertise for another needed position and get numerous of applicants, they went through those who had previously applied. Jon and one other person qualified, and so he was asked to come in and interview once more. This position was a little more web based, and slightly different than the previous one.

I remember feeling really good about the interview. I remember having my hopes so high. I also remember rocking Lilah before putting her down to bed, and praying in my mind that Jon would receive the job at UNLV. Then the thought came into my head that we could have another child, and he would get the job. I know it was the Holy Ghost who had told me this.

Jon did receive the job, and began working there in September, or maybe it was the very end of August also, we immediately had insurance coverage because of his classification as a professional, and on Thanksgiving of 2004 we found out we were pregnant.

That position at UNLV has lead to Jon’s 4 other positions that he’s held. It allowed us to buy our house, and then meet all the wonderful people who have been in our lives the past 6 years. I’m eternally grateful that the Lord provided a way for us to have Eden and answered our prayers.

3 Responses to “Family Size”

  1. andrea Says:

    It can be difficult to get hired into any of the state schools. It’s great that the first position snowballed into different opportunities for Jon.

  2. Nice Niece Says:

    I really admire and appreciate you for sharing your testimony about this. It is such a personal matter, and I totally agree with what you said about it. Thanks. 🙂

  3. Carolyn Says:

    I have many a talks with god that I DO NOT want a baby. To each their own. I do love the kids I have in my life.