No more referrals.

Now I post this because my point of view as changed and I now see the importance of trying to keep my friends information private because this is what I now want. So if you ever think of me as someone who might like something get the card to the consultant and and I can tell you myself and not waste that consultant’s and my time. Now I’m not upset at anyone for referring me but I just realized that it’s easier if you don’t. 🙂
So I’ve only recently heard of a company called “The Living Scripture”. I was at a relief society function and one women there said how she got locked into the whole set and would be paying $4,000 for everything. I thought wow, a commitment of $4,000 in DVD’s, crazy, even if they are scripture related. I just realized Jon’s parents have a lot of the living scripture videos and I have seen some. I think they can be useful to teach little children but ultimately it should be from the scriptures and Church related publications, I think. Like the Gospel Art kit or Book of Mormon Stories, both which I have and neither do I use often, which just means I’m a slacker. (I’ll link to these church items when they site is running.) Anyways.
Yesterday I had just picked up the mail and I noticed a young man park across the street. I was watching him because he was in an unfamiliar car. I got back in the house and through my peep hole I noticed he had a duffel bag. I wondered who he was staying with. I saw how he crossed the street and was approaching my door. I wondered if he had the wrong address because I was pretty sure I hadn’t signed up for any exchange program.
He rang the bell and I opened. He called me Sister Blake, which I found odd because he was not familiar looking to me. He said he was talking to people in the ward about this product and he asked if he could come in and tell me some info and show a video. I declined and he said for just listening I get a free video. I said I wasn’t interested and he tried to get in by saying he gets paid for just doing a demonstration and he mentioned the free video again as he held three different ones in his hand. I declined and he said how he didn’t know many people and was wondering if I could give him referrals to people in the ward. I sheepishly mentioned one family who lives down the street from us. He asked for more but not many live in my neighborhood and I didn’t want to go pull out a ward roster, that would be out of line. He went on his way and I became a little upset by the situation.
Here are the things that mostly upset me:
1. He called me by Sister Blake and was a sales man. I like using the “Sister” title for church relations, so to call me “Sister” and want to sell me something made me a little upset.
2. He didn’t call first, he just stopped by. Had he called he could have saved his and my time. Also by stopping by I know that people are more likely to get inside and once inside the “foot in the door syndrome” takes place and a person is more likely to buy something. I felt a little guilty that he wasted gas coming to my house, but honestly he should have called first so the guilt I had is gone.
3. He wanted names specifically of those I go to church with so in a way he is able to bypass the whole rule about not using the ward roster for solicitation because it’s always “referrals” to other members of the ward.

I also know from reading this blog, though it appears to be highly biased against living scripture, that they do strange 2 year contracts, kinda like Columbia house, but for a much higher price of $2,000 per subscription and X numbers of videos.
That’s just not what we need.
At one point while I was turning him down I almost pointed to the new car in the drive way and said. “See that car, we just bought it and now our income is much tighter and I don’t need to spend $4,000 on videos.” But he was nice and not so persistent that I felt the need to act like a crazy lady to get him to leave.

Another referral experience I had with a Mary Kay Rep. I had a friend, lets call her Stacey, just start doing Mary Kay, she no longer likes the company, so I don’t feel bad divulging this info, plus it’s no sign that this always happen within Mary Kay, just to me.
Well I went to Stacey’s first party as a new Mary Kay Rep and bought one lipstick because it was way too much money to spend on makeup for me. While we were hanging around eating cake Stacey’s Rep asked if she could call me tomorrow and do a three way with Stacey and just talk about how she did. I thought yeah I can do that and said yes. Well this Rep called and tried to persuade me to join the Mary Kay team. Ya know, list the benifits of half off makeup and having your own hours and possibly earning enough to have them give you the use of a second car for free. Nothing was ever brought up about my friend’s experience or how she did at her first party. I found it strange because this had been my first Mary Kay party ever and I know that was asked while there and no where on my slip of paper did I show any sign of interest for joining Mary Kay. I declined several times throughout the phone conversation and the Rep asked if I would do a “pink pillow” and sleep on it. I said that I would think about it, but just to get her off my back. My friend was so embarrassed. She had no idea that her Rep would try to recruit me. She knew that she was trying to get higher up in the totem pole, but she felt so bad that the Rep called me under false pretense.

So here’s my new thing. I’m never going to give referrals when I’m asked unless I have already spoken to someone and I know they’re interested in the product. Instead I’ll ask for a card and say I’ll talk to my friends and if they’re interested they’ll contact you.

I know a lot of people who do the whole sales thing. I understand you make money off of referrals and if a person is looking into a product and you make contact with them before they just contact a rep, then you get the money and not just some random rep. That’s great, but what I’ve decided is I don’t enjoy turning someone down because I was referred by a friend. If I’m looking to buy a certain product I’ll ask around and see if I know someone who sells X product or if they know someone. If they do great, if not fine.
I already have a hard time going to stores and buying things I don’t need by just seeing them on a shelf. I don’t need a person telling me I need something and persuading me to spend money. I do that well enough on my own.

7 Responses to “No more referrals.”

  1. Amber Says:

    Ditto your living scripture experience- except that he had a ward list and was using it. Pissed me off. I will never purchase their product. I never refer anyone for anything for all the reasons you stated. I’m also bugged when I’ve not talked to a person in ages yet they invite me to every single ‘party’ they have to buy stuff and never just over for dinner and to hang out.

  2. Emelie Says:

    Haha I also agree with Amber’s comment (I used to get invited to tons of parties when I worked out of the home and I just tried not to let it get to me because my money and time were limited and back then I was half as busy as now!) And I totally agree with you Lacey about the whole living scripture thing. I was irritated at the person who referred me and didn’t want to refer anyone else. When he told me that someone else had referred him to the gomez’s (not knowing their real name was quite different) I told him they were moving and he shouldn’t bother. I told him right off the bat I couldn’t buy them and I didn’t want to waste his tme (not to mention mine!) but like you said he persisted and made us watch all of his little clips and see all the videos and kept putting them on the floor in my messy house and getting upset when one of the girls would touch or step on one of them. I asked him to pick them up of the floor and he wouldn’t listen until the end. So I didn’t feel that bad that they were stepping on them. But I was getting iritated that he was getting irritated by my kids. Have I said irritated enough?? 🙂 Anyhow the whole time I kept thinking of that same person who told us that she bought the whole set for $4000 and knowing I couldn’t be talked into it. But I also felt pressured when he asked for names and mentioned people I know. I half expected tht he had gotten ahold of a ward list. Anyhow I totally empathize with you on that situation. Darn my trusting husband for letting him into our house!!

  3. Emelie Says:

    I also am in Mary Kay and totally got suckered into doing it. And though I sell on the side here and there I don’t let it run my life. My time is too important for someone else to be telling me what to do with it! My director is as pushy as they come and I just don’t let her get to me and I don’t allow her to push my friends around wither. I actually don’t even give her the chance to find out who they are. I remember her telling me that church was the best place to do it and I told her there was no way I would do that. I would alienate myself from the people I love and those I don’t know if I were to do that. That probably made me the most mad when she tried to push me into that!

  4. Cybr Says:

    It’s funny that MLMs are one of the biggest businesses in Utah, and it’s one of the biggest complaints in Utah as well.

    “Mary Kay, like a cult but without the animal sacrifices.”

  5. Mary Brinkerhoff Says:

    Am I Stacey? Totally agree with you Lacey. I hate anything pyrimid or home party business now. You can get most of this stuff without having to go through the annoying sales schemes, usually for a better price too. Also, you should never ever answer the door for men you don’t know with duffle bags. Rest assured I will never invite anyone to another silly home sales party that preys on jobless housewives.

  6. Lacey Says:

    Well Mary you are Stacey, so you’ve ruined the anonymity that I was giving you. Mostly because I didn’t know how you would feel with me writing about you and giving your name.
    Glad to know that you still check up on us. 🙂

  7. Lacey Says:

    Also, Jon was home so I was okay opening the door to him, he looked young and clean cut. Though you are absolutely right, I should never open my door to men with duffle bags, that’s why we have a gated door, I’ll need to remember to keep the gate closed even if it seems rude.