Missed opportunities

Saturday we received a phone call from a friend. The husband asked if he and his wife could come over. I said sure and then worried.
Why would they be coming over?
They never come over.
Why would they come over without any kids?

They came and sat down and told us how the wife was the director for a small Christmas program that would be held at the Mormon Fort here in Vegas. This would be the first year for the program and it was actually being put on in part by a Lutheran Minister, so it was a nonspecific denominational type activity. They’re going to have people doing pioneer type things and they’re also going to have a live nativity. It’s a program and then the audience walks around.
After she explained that she asked if we would be the Mary and Joseph for the Nativity. (They know that Jon’s not a participating member but they hoped he might do this anyways.)
She said before you say no let me tell you why we picked you, or why we thought you two would make a good Mary and Joseph.
One, she said how I reminded her of what Mary might look like, two was be cause of how Jon treats me.
She went on to say when they were chosen to be Mary and Joseph in a live nativity years ago the director told them that she chose them because of the way her husband treated her. He was so kind and loving towards her that the director envisioned Joseph treating Mary that way. So, when they had to think of a young couple to play the part of Mary and Joseph they both thought of us, because Jon is so loving towards me and they see that love.
The wife and I both had watery eyes. One was to think of the love our husbands show for us but for me it was also knowing that Jon would say no, but how I would love this experience.
They asked us to think about it and to let them know the next night.
Well, while Jon and I both knew his answer I still thought about what it would be like to be Mary.

My first thought was my hair was not very long. I would have to tell my hairdresser to keep as much length as she could so maybe by December my hair would be to my shoulders. Then Mary probably weighed less than I am now, so I might use this excuse to lose a little of the weight I’ve gained.
I also thought about what kind of mother Mary must have been. Patient and loving, something I feel that I don’t always have or show as much as I should. I wondered what kind of 2 year old Jesus was and if he drove her crazy or if he was perfect. So part of me thought I might need to be a better mother so I could play the role of Mary a little better.

So, Sunday came. I had a little hope that Jon would play the role for me, but he said no. It would be too hypocritical to pretend to play the father to a miraculous birth which he believes did not take place.
I understood.
I was still sad.
I am still sad.
But ultimately I don’t want him pretending to be something he’s not, especially on such a grand scale.

We were to see the couple Sunday, but Eden was sick. So Jon stayed home with Eden and wrote a short letter stating why he couldn’t play the part because I wasn’t going to be the one saying no, he was.
The husband was disappointed but he understood that Jon would feel hypocritical.

I wish the opportunity had come two years earlier.
One, I had longer hair and two, Jon still believed at that point.
Oh well for missed opportunities.

5 Responses to “Missed opportunities”

  1. Elizabeth J. Says:

    I am sad for you that you wont be able to participate in the program when you really wanted to.

    It doesn’t mean you can’t do the things you might have done in preparation anyway, such as let your hair grow long (if you wanted to) lose the weight (if you need to), and treat your children the way Mary must have treated hers. I think we would all be better if we followed her example (not necessarily the hair and weight, but definitely the kind of person she was) regardless of if we are protraying her in a nativity.

    Though your blog was sad, it still was a wonderful incentive to get me in the holiday mood and try to be more like Mary in my interactions with my family and friends.

  2. Lacey Says:

    I don’t really want to grow my hair out. I kinda like it so short. When it gets too long I have a harder time doing it where it looks styled. I’m kinda in need for a cut but I want to wait till the Holidays get closer so I look nicer when I see people.
    I could lose some weight. My jeans from last winter don’t fit as nicely, they didn’t last winter either, so I need to go jean shopping. I don’t know which I like less, jean shopping or losing weight.
    I think I should be a kinder parent. The girls have been getting along better, which helps, and I’ve been trying to have more patience with Lilah, which has also helped.
    It is interesting to try to think like Mary, or how she would act. I liked it for the half day that I tried it out.

  3. Molly Says:

    That would’ve been a great opportunity. I’m sorry that it’s not going to happen for you. But, I will say that after reading your blogs about Jon’s change, I was deeply inspired by your faith. I don’t think I could’ve gone on…I probably would’ve either fell away too or given up my marriage. I think you are a wonderful, inspirational person and you would’ve made a great Mary.

  4. Amber Says:

    I’m just going to ditto your other readers. They’ve said what I was thinking much better than I could have.

  5. Sarah Says:

    Lacey-love! I agree with Liz and Molly…I admire your courage and strength. You’re amazing…don’t ever forget that! Love you! 🙂 (PS – cute family pics….I can’t believe how big your girls are getting…I feel old!! Haha!)