In a funk

I have to be honest.
I’m finally getting that lost feeling after being done with school for over a year.
I use to get it during the summer between semesters and now it’s just a bad habit.

I sleep in every morning till 9 am, unless we have somewhere to be, then I get up at 8 to get my shower.

The girls do not sleep in till 9, so what are they doing? Watching a movie or PBS. If I’m lucky they don’t get up till 8, so it’s just one hour, but many days they get up at 7 and easily watch 2 hours of TV while I sleep.

Now I don’t always feel the need to sleep in if I’m up at 7 to say goodbye to Jon, but I don’t feel a desire to get up and going so I turn on a movie and go back to sleep.
My day becomes too long if I get up before 8 and have no where to go, which I usually don’t.

Besides sleeping in I take a nap nearly every afternoon. Not like a 20 minute power nap, but a 2-3 hour nap.
What are the girls doing? Eden is taking her nap and Lilah is watching TV, which I try to interrupt after about an hour or an hour and a half and get her to do something else, like play or use the computer. (She gets up later then Eden, about 8, so I let her watch her shows like Super Why.)

I do get the normal day to day stuff done. Dishes get washed, laundry gets done, though not always folded.
I just don’t have motivation to do the extra stuff. Like organize our room or organize the top bunk in the girls room.

I’m fine once I’m up, usually.
I don’t feel down necessarily but I do hang out at the computer a lot.

I’m just not motivated and I’m not sure what to do to get motivated.

I feel the girls are getting along fine, though I could spend more time playing with them or reading with them during the day.

The funny things is I stay up very late, usually just watching TV, or sometimes on the computer. I just want to stay up late and be by myself. If Jon does perchance stay up late, I don’t go to bed till he does.

I just feel a little lost. Being at home is becoming less fulfiling and I feel I accomplish very little.
So that’s what’s going on with me mentally.

2 Responses to “In a funk”

  1. Jonathan Blake Says:

    I’m reading The Way of Transition which came as part of the reading materials for a professional development workshop. It has been unexpectedly excellent so far, and I think it may apply to what you’re feeling. The author describes the process of personal change (he calls it a transition) comes in three stages: an end, a neutral zone, and a beginning.

    The neutral zone is chaotic and unsettled. You’ve let go of one identity and have yet to take hold of a new one. In your example, you’re no longer a student. This may feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. This feels uncomfortable and bad, but the author looks at it differently. The end of your life as a student (for now?) is a chance to clear away parts of your identity that are no longer needed. The unsettled chaos of the neutral zone is an opportunity for creativity while your new identity is emerging. I hope that gives you a taste of the author’s ideas.

    I’m in my own neutral zone, and I hope that the author will provide some insight into how to make my transition smoother and successful. Perhaps we should both read it. 🙂

  2. nice niece Says:

    I like the way that author put it. Sounds like an interesting read. I myself have gone through similar stages in my life, and I agree that you are just in a transitional stage. This time of relaxing is helping you re-group after the busyness of being a student/mom. Also, maybe you have another transition coming up that you need to save up energy for (homeschooling, maybe?). Anyway, I completely understand the feeling. Sometimes you’ve just gotta embrace the funk. 🙂