Is It Naptime Yet

Last night Eden was having a rough time sleeping so I brought her into rest with me while I held her. For those moments awake I had a lot of thoughts go through my mind. I don’t remember exactly all of them, but two stuck out.
The first thought. I have a lot of dreams. Now this sounds good, but my dreams all require money. Buying a new car, redoing the counter tops in the kitchen, redoing the girls bathroom almost completely ( we’ve already bought a new toilet so that’s the one thing that doesn’t need to be done). Then there’s painting the inside of my house and buying a new mattress Jon and I both agree on. Plus maybe some real furniture for the girls and our room. (like new dressers :)) Plus I want diamond earrings and my mom wants to sell me her $3,000 quilting/embroidery sewing machine for a small fee each month, (She’s getting a new one that’s worth about $9,000 for around $4,000). Plus I just like shopping in general. Then there’s paying off the smaller mortgage. Well paying off the mortgage company. (We’ve used about 14,000 in student loans to pay it off, which will start being due this July, but $10,000 is at the low rate of just 2.8 %).
So the main dilemma is the car. I’ve made a deal that we will not buy a car until the small mortgage is paid off. Which looks to be about December if nothing major comes up. The problem being I want to do around $1,500 in remodeling which will then make it more around March of next year. 🙁
My thought is to do this nanny service my sister does. Well babysitting is what I would do, about once or twice a week.They cater to the hotels and wealthy families in town. The problem being is while filling out the application I felt so under qualified because I have no professional training and haven’t worked for nearly 4 years. I’m very qualified by life experience, I am a mom, but they want employment for the past 10 years and references that have known me for five. (Amber you’ll probably be one 😉 ). I worry about not getting the job because who will want a stay at home mom to babysit, though I do have a college degree.
I guess it’s just a little scary entering a work type field and filling out an application when you haven’t worked for so long. I’m tempted not to do it just out of feeling incompetent. (I know I can do it, it’s will they hire me with just the life experience of taking care of my own children.) I’m glad that I don’t have to do this job. Really it’s just so I can fund these extras. Which also brings me to the next dilemma, should I be worried about these extras or should I be happy that we are happy and fed with a roof over our heads? I guess I also want to enjoy these extras while we’re here, not 6 months before we leave because we’re thinking about selling and they’ll help sell the house.
I guess it’s also “Do I mind having the mortgage debt while having a car?” One reason I want the mortgage to go away is so I can get a slightly nicer car then if we had the mortgage. I feel a little greedy but I also feel that working one night a week is okay. I went to school twice a week during my schooling, and once even three times a week when I was pregnant with Eden.
So there’s my dilemma. I’m too scared to fill out a job application for fear of being rejected because I haven’t worked in so long. Then I also worry about working for the wrong reasons.
I really want a nicer kitchen and bathroom, and I really want a car by next year. I’ve made lots of sacrifices and I feel that this is an okay one for my family.
We’re told so often that having the mom work is terrible. Though plenty of Mormon moms do things like home businesses, so I feel that this is okay. I work and come home. Or I don’t work that night if they don’t need me. Rather then I work and do party or show and have to continue to work while at home doing phone calls and everything else that come with home businesses. Lots of moms do those jobs for their extra money or to do their hobbies. This money is for myself. I really want a new guest bathroom and a nicer kitchen. So my family benefits as well. 🙂

So I went on the trip.
Eden had a small fever on Wednesday night, but she only puked once that day. Thursday morning she was her normal happy singing self in bed so I decided to go. I had folded all the clothes I washed for the trip so it would be fairly easy packing. We were all set and then at 10 am when I started to think about getting everything in my mom’s car I realized we’d left the car seats in our car. Jon was a doll and dropped them off for us so we left about 11:15.
Both girls seemed normal on Thursday. It was very happy traveling and we didn’t use the DVD player my mom brought because they were quiet the whole time, napping or reading books.
They didn’t eat very much Thursday night, though they ate well at lunch. (We went to Chuck -a-Rama’s in St. George, one of the reason’s I so badly wanted to go on the trip in the first place.)

Friday morning Lilah was great, Eden ate hardly anything but drank a lot of orange juice. We stayed at the hotel while my mom went and decorated the cake for my cousin’s reception.
Eden threw up about 10:30 am. I was able to clean it up easily, luckily the carpet was hunter green. She seemed fine after that so we took a walk across the street and played at a little play ground that we found. The maid came while we were gone, I warned her about the throw up, and our room smelled like cinnamon when we returned.
We walked to a diner for lunch and just had it to go since I was alone and Eden was sick. I felt like a single mom. Why you ask? Well I was there with my girls alone and two Jon had my rings so he could get them checked for our extended warranty plan. So I was without my wedding ring. I felt like everyone saw that I had kids, and saw that I was not married because I had no rings.
Lilah had her drink while we waited for our food and she spilled it. 16 oz of soda and ice on the bench. Her and Eden thought they were helping by running their hands in the soda and wiping the bench but without any napkins. I got mad at Lilah because she continued to do this and she started to cry. Luckily we had our food so I was able to usher them out as she cried and Eden tried to give her a hug. I felt like people were thinking, “Oh the poor single mother can’t keep her temper when her child spills her drink”.
I just felt single the whole time. Anywhere we went really. I was there with my mom, two girls and without a wedding ring. Of course I know I was more self conscious then others really noticed, but being in Utah I felt more judged for some reason.
We all went to the reception. Eden seemed to be doing better, even though she had a diaper blowout, and Lilah was still fine.
My cousins, Brittany (16) and Celeste (14) kept holding Lilah and Eden. I had to remind them that Lilah had legs and she could walk. Eden was very cuddly and she liked just being with me that night.
Here’s another reason I felt like people thought I was a single mom. At the reception people noticed I had kids, but never asked about my husband. (The the groom’s family.) So I felt like they thought I was single or maybe thy didn’t want to ask in case I was single.

Saturday neither girls ate much of anything at breakfast. Eden had a pretty good day, but Lilah did not.
We stopped at Beaver for lunch and right after we ordered Lilah started coughing, which has been pretty normal for the last two weeks. Then she threw up right there by the registers at Wendy’s. Luckily she hadn’t eaten much so it was just watery, not chunky. She threw up a little and I thought it would stop but then she threw up a little more and I tried to rush her to the bathroom where she threw up on the way and just a little in the toilet. The girls shared a banana and we ate lunch.
They both slept a lot on the way to St. George.
We stopped in St. George and Lilah went into a store with my mom for some knitting needles. Once inside the store she threw up again. ( I asked her if she felt okay and she said she did, but we think the walking made her sick.)
The rest of the trip was fine, but neither of the girls ate or drank much.
Saturday night Lilah coughed and threw up once,and then throughout the night felt like she was going to threw up anytime she coughed.

They stayed home Sunday and slept all day.
Eden threw up on Jon Sunday night right after I canceled dinner with Carolyn for tonight, Monday.
Today has been more sleep and slightly lethargic girls.
I hate having sick girls. Luckily today is a holiday and Jon has it off. I may make him stay home tomorrow, but well see.
Eden seems to want food, bit she won’t eat the applesauce I give her. I think she’s sick of applesauce.
Lilah just wants cuddles and she eats a little.
I hope they get better soon. They did have a good time on the trip though. Lilah didn’t want to leave the hotel. I think she liked all the soda’s and restaurants we were visiting.

So we don’t do Valentine’s Day very much. Mostly because our anniversary is later this month, so to do two romantic nights in one month is hard. Really it’s over doing it because we don’t even do one romantic night a month. I also prefer doing something extra special on a day that actually means something to me.

Today has been a bad day though. Eden is sick. I mean diarrhea and puke sick. (She’s only puked once, but the night is still young.) This makes me extra sad because we were suppose to go to Utah tomorrow with my mom. Even if she has a good night and doesn’t puke again there’s no guarantee that she won’t tomorrow while on the trip. I’m still tempted to go if she has a good night, but I would feel soo bad if she did  end up puking in my mom’s car.
Most times these things are just one day, but will it only be one day is the question. We’d be leaving around 10 am….which is just too early to tell.
I really wanted to go. It was for a cousin’s reception. I’m not close to this cousin or even this aunt and uncle. I just wanted to get away. I also wanted to show support because they’ve come down for weddings and blessings, and we haven’t been able to go up for the two weddings they’ve have since I’ve been married.
Really I just wanted to get away and change my routine.
I’m so very disappointed.

(Jon’s coworker has been gone and if it were just Friday he could take the time off, but it’s Thursday and Friday, which makes it hard for us.)

SO I was told I could revel my secret. Well it’s not so much a secret as I didn’t want to spill the beans before other people found out, but she said it was okay when I called her this afternoon.

CAROLYN IS ENGAGED!!!

There’s my secret.
Well we were at my parents last night when her and Derrek came over. Glenn, Carolyn, Jon, me and our girls were sent upstairs so Derrek could ask the parents.
I’m way excited for Carolyn. He’s a great guy and very nice.
No, He’s not Mormon, but I know that whether or not he ever becomes Mormon does not matter. One because I’m in sorta the same boat, two because I think he is a decent guy and respective of us who are active LDS members.

Her ring is a cross between these two and it’s very sparkly.
This one because it’s princess shaped and the diamonds around the main ring curve around the corners, though it doesn’t have the two bands on the side.
This one because it’s sparklier (my made up word) and reminds me of hers and two because the diamonds cover three sides of the band, not just the top like the other one, but it still only has one band leading to the diamond, not three.
No they did not buy them on amazon….but this was the easiest place to find similar rings.

I know a secret. Well it’s only a secret for a little while longer, or until this person decides that I can tell. Ooohhhh it’s soo good.

Also this is what I discovered about my couch this morning. (I’m using wordpress to post this picture, usually I do a different long process.) It’s not easily noticable when you just look at the couch, hence why I think it took me so long to notice.

We’ve had it since July 2005 so I’m not sure if the store will do anything about it. (Ashley furniture by the way.) I’m nervous to call. We bought microfiber so it would last longer. We got a five year scotch guard protector on the fabric and the couch frame itself has a lifetime guarantee. So why in less than two year does the couch start coming apart at the seams!!! I also have two daughters that are not that hard on furniture. I’m just worried that they won’t do anything because it’s been over a year but it’s definitely a manufacturing problem. It’s not like we cut a hole in the couch. At least we bought it at only 60 % of the original price, but it was still a lot!

Yesterday was a fun day. I got my house tidied in the morning and then my friend Danielle came over. She came to visit teach me, but we talked for a while also. Danielle is due to have her fist baby in February. I must say I’m a little jealous. I enjoyed giving birth. The pain is not fun, but the experience as a whole is very fulfilling. You discover muscles and parts of your body that you didn’t know existed. The feeling of having a baby come out of you is something that is indescribable. I hate that it takes nine months of waiting for the experience and for me it was over with a few hours, and the pushing was over in mere minutes. It’s goes fast, probably the way it should, but it’s amazing to be done and know that you gave birth to a baby. I loved labor. So as strange as it sounds I am envious of my pregnant friends.
Danielle left around 11:45 and then my friend Anna came over for lunch. Since she now works four 10 hour days rather then five 8 hour days, she has Thursday off and she spent the afternoon at my house. We played with the girls and eventually we went outside for the girls to play. She thinks I should see the light of day more often and that I should let my children get dirty. She also plans on laughing at me once I have my first boy…..since I don’t like dirt.
Once Anna left I put the girls down for their naps and minutes later a counselor in my ward’s relief society called me. We talk and then I check my e-mail and then my MIL called to tell me there was a mother who home schools her 8 children on Oprah. After I watched the segment she called back and we chatted some more. Then an old friend from high school called me back. She’s getting married this March so I wanted to catch up a little with her.
Before I knew it it was 5:40 and I had to get dinner ready. Lilah wanted to play pirates, so I tired to get things cooked and engage her in a game of “eye spy”.
After dinner I took Eden to Target with me. She had a field day in the parking lot and on the way there. She was pointing at every moving car and saying car. It was so cute.
Anyways at the end of the day I realized times flies.
It’s crazy. Here I am 23, married with 2 kids and soon to celebrate my 5th anniversary. I can’t believe it. Life happens so fast.

Before all this happened I was very happily married and I found much sanctuary in my husband.
It seems that I’ve been so angry lately that I remember to love him because I should love him, but I often forgot why I loved him in some ways. Shortly before I found out about his new beliefs we attended the Dixie Chicks concert. I loved sitting there holding Jon’s hand and singing. On there newest CD, Taking the Long Way, they have a song titled Easy Silence. This song made and makes me think of Jon. Most of the song it about their own trials and what they’ve been through, so I don’t relate to that part but I relate to the chorus:

Easy silence that you make for me
It’s okay when there’s nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me

When they sang this song the night of the concert I believe I sang into Jon’s ear. It’s how he made me feel and makes me feel. Relaxed and accepted. He was the one person I totally exposed myself to without the worries of judgment. Well I worried, but in some ways I did not.
With all the anger I’ve had lately I’d forgotten about the comfort I had with him and the love I felt.
Saturday night PBS’s Austin City Limits had the Dixie Chicks performing. We came upon it and decided to stay up late to watch. The song Easy Silence came on and in a way I felt a lot of the love that I had been withholding from Jon come out. Part of the wall I had built was taken down.

I’m trying to love Jon throughout this ordeal. Really I haven’t stopped. It’s just at certain moments I feel that I have very little love for him, and a whole lot of anger, which is natural. The only way I can make it through this is to love my husband, my children, myself but most importantly my God.

Jon wrote his family another e-mail. I said his first e-mail was too vague and that he needed to expand since the blog does little to do that as of now Here’s his second e-mail.

I have realized (it has been pointed out to me, anyway) how cruel it
is to withhold the whole story. I guess the blog is more aimed at
telling the story well for my posterity than being informative to
those who have no idea what I’m talking about. So here’s the story in
a nutshell:

As Lilah and Eden grew and started to ask questions (mostly Lilah) I
knew that I would be teaching them to believe in Mormonism. This
reawakened old doubts that I had been hiding from for years. I decided
that I had to know for myself. I couldn’t lie to them and say that I
was sure when I wasn’t. So I studied and prayed like we’ve been taught
to do. My studies took me outside of the comfortable mainstream of
Mormonism to faithful LDS authors who reported Mormon history as it
was, not as we might wish it to be. My doubts were being confirmed
rather than quieted. In the midst of this, I began to hear about some
recent atheist books published partially in reaction to the religious
fundamentalism which motivated the 9/11 attacks. As I heard the
authors’ arguments, I experienced a radical awakening where I suddenly
realized that everything that I had believed about Mormonism was the
product of self-deceit. This realization, while at times frightening,
brought me unexpected peace and joy.

If I must label myself now, I would say that I am ultimately agnostic,
because I believe that no one (including myself) can have true
certainty about anything. However, the evidence – or lack thereof –
forces me to believe that there is no supreme being, lovingly
intervening in our lives.

This will terrify some, I think. I would have been very worried if I
heard this about someone in our family just a couple of years ago. We
have come to rely on God to protect us against many frightening
things. What I didn’t realize before is that it is possible to live a
perfectly happy, moral life without believing in God. I am happy,
contrary to what I would have expected. I want to be moral (in the
broad sense, not just sexually) because of my empathy for others and
because it is the path to happiness.

If Mormonism is true, then I was doing it very, very wrong. It was the
source of unnecessary anxiety in my life as I tried to be obedient. I
constantly worried about reaching the Celestial Kingdom.
Paradoxically, the less I worried about being obedient, the happier I
was. The happier I was, the more I wanted to be good and help other
people. The people who are the happiest in Mormonism must either have
become supremely self-disciplined or have come to terms with their own
mediocrity. I never managed to do either.

My conscience began to jab me in the ribs every time I participated in
the Church in a way that falsely implied that I believed. But I didn’t
want to leave until I had given it my best shot to get back on the
bandwagon. So I kept this change of heart secret from April of last
year in the hopes that I would return to sanity and that I wouldn’t
need to hurt my family. As I studied and prayed, the separation
between me and God only deepened. The Scriptures where full of ideas
that I found unbelievable or even repugnant. I felt like my prayers
were going no further than the inside of my own skull – like they
always had, now that I thought about it.

So late last year I told Lacey. Things still didn’t change. So last
week, I decided that enough was enough. I sent in a letter of
resignation from my church callings last week. I always hated when
family members weren’t active in the Church for reasons that I
couldn’t really figure out. Instead of asking them what their reasons
were (which I thought might be impolite because I assumed that they
were ashamed of whatever reasons they may have), I played a guessing
game.

I didn’t want that to happen in my case. I plan to say it loud and
proud, as they say. I don’t want that silence between me and any of my
family any more. So I’m leaving the Church, those are my reasons, and
no, I’m not ashamed.

What everyone is probably more worried about is how Lacey and I are
doing. I am fairly confident that most of you are more worried about
Lacey than about me. No… it’s okay: I understand. 🙂

I realize that this is completely unfair to Lacey. I’ve changed the
ground rules that we agreed to when we were married. I’m doing my best
to make as few changes to our lives as possible (e.g. I help with the
children in Sacrament Meeting and support her in paying a full tithe).
I am fully supportive of the choices that she makes. I’m not trying to
persuade her to follow me to the dark side. If she catches me on a
good day, I don’t think there’s anything that she could do to make me
stop loving her. We’re talking. We’re trying to find ways to adjust so
that we can preserve the wonderful marriage that we have.

I am hopeful for the future.

With Love,

Jonathan

Parts of the letter were news to me. I did not know that he has felt this way since April and I did not know the whole story about his reasons for looking because of teaching the girls.

In some ways I have tried to be quiet and not hear or question him about his beliefs.One reason for that is when I do he seems to already have an answer and I seem baffled. Jon says that he’s already been over these questions in his mind and that’s why he has an answer. (I told him I hate how he has an answer for everything I bring up lately.)

I’m also trying to stay somewhat ignorant to the details of his beliefs until I am stronger in my own convictions. He understands this. I feel as though my doubts are real through his doubts, but I want to come to a much different conclusion than he has.

I suppose I have felt lukewarm in the church. I think I know it’s true but I can’t pinpoint any time in my life where I have felt with conviction that I knew. I suppose this might be the trial that does it even if it takes time. I am trying to love him despite all this. At times I do not, but overall I do. It’s just hard to see and realize the vast difference in our beliefs. It hurts to see them. It hurts to think of my children having such different veiwpoints taught to them.
In some ways I have a lot to post on this subject in others I do not. Some nights we stay up late arguing, well not arguing as much as me being upset and crying at him. Other nights we’re able to discuss.
I’m saddened by so many things now that I don’t have words to describe. I have so many questions to ask and situations to figure out that I can’t see road before me.
I hope only to have the love and support of family and friends.

So on this change I sent out a personal e-mail to my family. I thought of sending one out to my friends but then I decided, if you don’t check my blog and I don’t see you often enough to tell you this change in person then when/if you find out will be the appropriate time, rather then giving this info out to everyone I keep loosely in touch with over e-mail. If you check my blog regularly, then you care enough about my life, or are noisy enough about my life to find out this information. I know there are plenty of people who care who do not check regularly, but for now all I’m able to deal with are those who do.
This will seems a little coarse of an intro to what I’m about to post, but I think I’m at that point in my day where I want to be coarse and not sappy.

The following is an e-mail I sent to my immediate family members today.
Dear Family,

Jon has recently made, though it has been a long process, a personal change. The following is a copy of a e-mail he sent to his family members. I on the other hand I will bluntly state that he no longer is participating or believes in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I still love him deeply and he is still very much the same person he was before. It’s not like he’s flipped some switch and is completely different. He still loves me and the girls and we are staying together to figure this out.
The letter includes a link to his blog where he will try to help those around him understand and see how he came to this decision. He is not trying to persuade anyone to believe as he does. He just wants others to understand him a little more so that confusion, heartache or anger may be lessened by reading. He is not bitter towards the church and he is not leaving because of some sin. His beliefs have just been altered so much that he cannot pretend to believe. He still supports me with raising our girls in the church. He is not trying to persuade me to believe has he does.
Please bookmark the below link because it will be updated and a continuing development for a period of time, after a while it will be more of his own outlet on his new beliefs, but for now it will slowly tell his story of change.
For those who are finding out this information for the first time, I am sorry I did not tell you in person or over the phone. It’s just been chaotic and I feel a little drained from it all. The thought of telling one more person hurts me physically and just seems to open the wounds I have. Over all I am doing OK, but I am saddened by the loss of my eternal companion.

Love,
Lacey

Greetings All,

I am beginning to blog about some recent personal changes. I feel that
blogging is the most appropriate way to inform you of these changes. I
communicate much more clearly when I have the chance to search out
words to more accurately reflect my thoughts. Though this method is not
as personal a phone call, I think it will help us to end up with a
better understanding of each other when all is said and done.

I ask that you do not discuss this with Mom and Dad until I have a
chance to do it myself. I’m trying to decide how to tell them in a way
that will convey my deep love and respect for them and minimize the
heartache that will surely follow. Any suggestions you may have would
be most appreciated. I regret that they will have to adjust to these
changes at this time in their lives.

http://www.blakeclan.org/jon/greenoasis/

With my love,

Jonathan

I have had this knowledge since November 29, 2006.

I’ll elaborate more later this week. For now I am drained.

So it’s new year. La…de…dah. I never make resolutions. I never keep resolutions. It’s really not for me. I have things I want to do and have been able to keep up but it’s not because it’s a new year it’s because I’m done with school.

I dropped Jon off yesterday after I had a dentist appointment (No cavities, just have to floss more often.) and he mentioned how busy the front office is and I was so happy to know that I did not have to deal with any of it. No registering for classes and hoping to get the ones I want. No more worries about financial aid or scholarships. No worries about paperwork. I’m done with it all for now. It feels good. But this is not the point of this post. My point is I’m making changes and they happen to coincide with a new year, not because of the new year.

Challenges for the new post graduated me:
1. Keep my house more tidy : This includes a long list. Mostly I don’t mind if the front room is a mess because of the girls playing. Toys are easily cleaned up and explained to strangers/ friends who come by. My goal is to decrease the clutter and keep things presentable at most times. I’m continuing the goal of keeping dishes in the dishwater dirty and unloading it right after they’re clean. I’m trying to get rid of the junk mail and papers from the mail immediately after we get it rather then making a pile and my goal is just to tidy up every day. ( I was yucky feeling this past week so I got back on track today. ) My goal is to also not get discouraged if I get sidetracked or too lazy. (There is always tomorrow.) I figure if I can learn to keep my small house tidy then it won’t be as massive if we ever or whenever upgrade to something bigger. I’ve reprinted out a schedule for me to do things and I hope this will help me keep in mind the little things that can make a house look nice.

2. Do sewing projects: This one is tough. I’m planing on sewing some things for baby gifts for a couple girls I know. It’s finding time. Ugh. I also have my lovely drapes to do.

3. Read scriptures: I have yet to start this habit except when I teach. I’m terrible but there is always tonight.

4. Play with girls: Now I did do this but I’m doing it more. I want to have activities and things to do or places to go. Not just stay at home. We’ve noticed it a viscous cycle with Lilah and her whining. Either everything is good and she’s getting enough attention so there is little need to whine. Or it goes bad and she’s whining and her whining makes me grumpy and a little resistant to giving her the attention she is wanting because when she’s whining for it it seems demanding. It’s hard. I think Lilah is a high maintenance child in that she needs a lot of love and hugs and just being with her time. But if I’m not feeling well or up to it her whining bothers the heck out of me and I feel that she is to needy. Things are better and I hope we can stay happy, and if we can’t stay happy then maybe I can be a little less grumpy.

5. Exercise: We’ve bought some Pilate’s videos and things to help me do an at home routine. It’s finding time without Eden. Lilah just goes along with it or plays her computer games. Eden tries to climb on you or gets in the way. I need to do this. I’m back to 140 lb. or so. (my guesstimate since our scale doesn’t work, but things are fitting like they did when I got pregnant with Eden.) I liked my 120 lb. me so my goal is to get back down to there. I gained weight after I weened Eden and continued to eat the same as when I was nursing her. Now I can say that my appetite has decreased. I still have to eat throughout the day but I don’t eat as much as at the meals. This is a little bit of an adjustment. I’m still taking too much cereal in the mornings, but I’m working on it. I’ve never been one to exercise. Hopefully this can change.

6. That’s it really. Except I am trying to look a little nicer and less grubby. With the t-shirts and yoga pants I just bought I can be pretty cute yet comfortable. So I guess number 6 is to be cute more often and feel good while at home.

That’s it. I’m mostly restating but I feel really good about everything. My house is cleaner since we had visitors and I’ve kept it up. Jon jokes that he should invite people over more often if I clean like this every time. It’s totally harmless. I know he’s fine with the state our house was in, but he does like it in this tidier state. My one thing for him to do is file. I do the bills and what not but some things I just don’t know what to do. We have a few boxes of “I don’t know what to do” filing. That’s on my honey do list for him. 🙂