Is It Naptime Yet

All:

Going to Sonic for half price smoothies on June 20th, the Summer Soltice.

Lilah:
Being obsessed with feet. You’re writing a story about feet and you like to play with Eden’s feet like they are a pet. Pretty strange. and even stranger is she lets you.

Making fun pancake shapes for dinner. I got distracted talking to Carolyn and you made a flower, a ladybug, and letters for everyone in our family.

Being sick the day of your party, then on your birthday. Staying sick for five days.

Starting a collection of pins for your backpack. Being so happy at Zion when someone noticed all your junior ranger badges and mentioned that you had been to lots of places.

Being excited for our tradition of getting a treat at the grocery store in Alamo, NV, on our way home from Ely.

Eden:
I showed you a picture of an older sister changing the diaper of her new baby sister. I asked you who would change the babies diapers if we had a new baby. You replied in your straight face that is nor very happy, “Me and Lilah.” I told you you wouldn’t have to change all the diapers. 🙂
Then I told you if we had a new baby you’d have to share cuddles and maybe you could cuddle the baby. You were not very happy with this either and told me you would not be sharing cuddles with the baby. (We are not having a baby, but this obsession goes back to me being bipolar and seeing cute pictures of big sisters with a new baby. )

Your two front teeth are so loose, but have not fallen out. You’re pretty much waiting for the dentist to pull them for you I think.

You were bored and wanting to watch TV. I was trying to wean you and your sister off since she had been sick, I told you to go draw with the dry erase board. You did draw, but you mostly talked to yourself and created your own world with the markers.

Letting me pull your tooth. It was so loose for so long. We were lucky that the Tooth Fairy found you in Ely.

I said you could be a hobo with your toothless smile. You asked what a hobo was.

Jon:
I bought a new dress and mentioned how I just needed some white sandals. you replied, “What? Out of all the shoes you have you don’t have any white sandals?”

Teaching the girls how to load the dirty dishes for the dishwasher.

I said when we retire we should move into one of those adult communities. You replied, “That’s one thing labeled “adult” that I’m not interested in.”

Introducing a Summer Solstice Celebration. We made yummy cheese stuffed hamburgers and enjoyed a very summer-foods dinner.

Changing our clock to military time and Celsius for the temperature.

Driving with Lilah, Eden and Britta to Zion, so I could ride with Sam.

I think I’m a little bipolar. Some days I really, really, really want a baby. Other days, I’m like, no way do I want a baby coming and messing up our perfectly worked out life. (It’s not perfect, but a baby would sure rock the boat, and be expensive.)
Things that would be really hard with a baby:
Camping. We’d have to get a bigger car because we hardly fit everything we need in our car with a cargo top.
Sleeping. I like to stay up late and sleep in.
Sewing. In my new house, whenever we get one, I would not have a sewing room, and that’s something I’m looking forward to.
Vacations. Because of needing a bigger car, we wouldn’t be able to afford to do vacations.
Homeschooling. I have a hard enough time homeschooling, and staying on task with two children. I don’t think I’d be very consistent if we had a baby. Plus, I’d have to keep what I’m using so I can use it on our younger baby.
Babysitting. Since my daughters are older, I think it’s easier to get a sitter, or at least I feel less guilty using the same two people over and over again. Having a baby would mean we’d go out less as a couple and might actually have to pay to have someone watch my kids.
Life. In general I am just not use to having a little one that demands so much of one’s time. My girls are pretty independent. They make their first two meals of the day and even help with dinner. A baby would be really life changing.

I admit to often looking at the negative to make me happy we’re not having another child. You never know what kind of personality a new little one will have and what dynamic the child will bring to the family.Plus, I can’t control what sex the baby is, and even though Carolyn wants us to have a boy, I am in no way prepared to have a boy. While the personality and sex of the baby aren’t bad. I fear having a really rambunctious, hard to handle boy. The unknown is scary.

Over the past couple years I’ve felt very many emotions.

1. We’re having a baby once we get a bigger house. No matter what.
2. Babies are way too much to handle. I’m too selfish.
3. I’m not having any more babies so lets get rid of all the baby stuff, and my maternity clothes.
4. I’d probably let Lilah or Eden do all the work of taking care of the baby, and that’s just wrong.
5. Babies are so dang cute, and mine are so big.
6. Babies are way annoying, especially as they turn into toddlers.
7. I just want to be pregnant. Who cares if I keep the baby afterwards.
8. I’m good with my little family.

I think I’m mostly baby hungry right now because of a blog I read. The woman has two daughters, one a year older than Lilah, and one who is Eden’s age. Since we both had two daughters, I really related to some of the things she went through, even though our lives are so different. She wasn’t able to have kids for a while, and yesterday she gave birth to a third little girl. Reading her posts about all her preparations and the cheerful anticipation her family felt, really got my womb wanting a another child, especially since she had a little girl.

Even now, I’m not completely sure how I feel about another child, but I’m happy that I feel joy for this mother with her new baby, not jealousy.

Today, I am happy with my family and I’m happy for the moms who have little ones to enjoy.

What I do look forward to is being in the nursery at co-op in the Fall. I really like playing with the little ones, and then sending them to their moms when they’re too upset or need a diaper change.
Then I’m like, “Baby, baby, who wants this baby?”
Not me.

Jon had his birthday at the beginning of May.

For Jon’s birthday he went to work, which he normally does, and was able to enjoy some celebration with his co-workers. He then came home to some excited girls who had him search for his present before he worked out. Lilah made a little “scavenger” hunt. I wasn’t feeling my best so instead of riddles, they went more like, “Go to the microwave. Go to the dishwasher.” etc. Jon followed directions and they lead him back to the couch, where his gift was. The girls colored the box like it was a present, in effort to reuse and recycle, and because I wasn’t feeling well. I was actually able to surprise him for his gift this year. He had told me a long time ago what he wanted, and apparently had forgotten. (It was a CD, Thick as a Brick II, and a Lone Wolf book to add to his collection.)

Jon told me he wanted home-made pizza for dinner, so the girls and I prepared our pizzas and shared in making Jon’s. (He was working out.) We then enjoyed some yummy pecan pie. His boss had made it for him last year on his birthday, and I asked for the recipe because it was delicious. Jon’s boss made him a chocolate coffee cake this year, because she thought I might be making him pecan pie. She was correct in her guess. Eden loved the pecan pie and declared that she wanted it for her birthday.

We then enjoyed a nice evening at home as a family.

For my birthday, at the end of the month, I was able to enjoy a quiet morning at home. Jon took the girls to Science Saturday and I started getting ready to see Mary Poppins at The Smith Center. I decided I wanted curly hair, which takes forever, but allowed me to be extra cute on my birthday. Since the show was Mary Poppins, I took Lilah with me as sort of an early birthday gift. We barely got there in time, and the show started. About 5 minutes in the set to the house malfunctioned, and it was nearly a full hour later when they began again. Lilah was really good and we took a couple pictures while we waited. I called Jon to let him know that we’d be home an hour late and he suggested we go out to eat, because he didn’t want to cook and thought making me cook on my birthday was not very nice. I chose Olive Garden and we enjoyed a nice meal together as a family. Jon almost thought to order dessert, but I reminded him that he and Eden had made me a cake while Lilah and I were at the play.

We went home and enjoyed cake and went to bed as one very stuffed family.

Becoming one year older isn’t so bad when you get to enjoy it in such wonderful ways.

While growing up my parents would always ask for us kids to do things for them or around the house. It was fine that we had to make dinner once a week, wash dishes, and iron my dad’s work clothes. I was fine with that. Well, maybe I didn’t enjoy ironing so much. What I disliked was picking up my father’s newspapers that he had just piled onto the floor after reading, or fetching him or my mom water when their legs worked just fine. The running joke was they had kids to do things for them.

Yeah, having kids can be helpful and I’m trying to not make them into my slaves, something we called ourselves a time or two growing up. It is hard though. They’re so able bodied, while I’m so old.

I’m still not great at always incorporating the girls into my chores or things I do around the house. They really can’t reach the sink to do dishes, and we have to help them put dishes away that go up high. I don’t always like company as I cook, most often I like to just cook by myself. So I don’t encourage them to be in the kitchen with me, but there are times they insist. Like when I was making jam at the very end of April.

I bought a ton of strawberries, and planned on freezing some and making jam with most of them. One morning I made one batch of freezer jam, but I was in a rush. I made them hang back and watch, but promised they could help when I did the regular jam.

The morning of jam making came, and the girls were very excited. I pulled their hair back, and I put them to work cutting and mashing berries, while I prepped my jars and lids. It was actually very helpful to have them helping, and helped the process go smoothly.
They also had tons of fun, so it was a win win situation. I even offered to contract them out to my friend Sam, but she was already over half way done with her jam making when I offered.

The girls really loved helping, and I liked seeing them help. There were times when one or the other was a little stubborn, but once I got them to try it, things went well. Read: Eden was not wanting to do something, so I made her try it, and she really liked it in the end.

Lilah’s hair is so crazy because I had to pull her long bangs back, so she wouldn’t be tempted to touch her hair.

Later that week Eden and I baked some muffins together. I try to include both of them in the kitchen, but often it becomes an argument in who’s turn it is, or it’s unfair that they get to put this and that in, or they’re stirring for too long. So sometimes I make something with just one of them. The other often pouts, but once we reach the agreement that they can help make something later in the week, they stop bothering us, for the most part. Read: Lilah has a really hard time not being the one helping in the kitchen, and hovers around talking and trying to help.

Eden’s Whole Wheat Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins. The recipe came from the Highlights magazine. (We changed it to whole wheat and substituted raisins for chocolate chips.)

Lilah chose some cookies for her recipe that we made together. They turned out pretty good, and none of the cookies I ate had any of her hair in them.

Lilah really has taken to doing extra things around the house, and it’s really nice, because usually she’s also very willing to help. Like, their laundry just got put into the wash and I didn’t have to help at all. I was able to sit here and type this up.

Now if only I had a drink of water.

Back in April Andrea came down with Zarina and Poppy for a week. My Aunt Rosena was also in town for one of her semi-annual visits.  We visited the Park girls a few times while they were here and I finally remembered to take pictures on the final day of my Aunts visit.

On this particular day Andrea was running errands and we were watching Zarina and Poppy. Poppy did not like waking up from her nap and her mom being gone, but once outside with the silly girls she was a little happier.

Lilah and Eden were trying to cheer Poppy up with some bubbles we brought.

Poppy did not enjoy touching the grass.

Zarina blowing some bubbles. (She turns five in October!)

We brought a blanket out for Poppy, she enjoyed that a lot more, despite the look on her face.

Here is Poppy with her Great Aunt Rosena and her Grandma Maggie.

We got the girls to come pose with Grandma and Aunt Rosena too. (They look a little grumpy here.)

But here Poppy is covering my mom’s face.

It was fun to see Andrea and her girls. Family visits are always fun especially since Andrea and Brien will be moving farther away, and visits will become less frequent.

Both:

Helping me make strawberry jam. You both helped to cut up the berries and mash them. I loved working together with my girls, and it made the job go faster.

Hanging out at the mechanic for three hours. We brought school work, which you did without whining, and then you got to play with the legos there. I’m so thankful that you two are such wonderful kids. I can take you anywhere and you’ll behave, even if it means sitting there bored for a while. (I usually try to have things for you to do when we go places.) You’ve been this way since you were little, it’s not just now that you’re older. (I’m sure I have stories of you melting down or being bad in public from when you were little on my blog, but overall you’ve always been excellent children and I really appreciate it.)

Lilah:

Making clues for a scavenger hunt for Daddy to find his gift.

Telling everyone about your lego project that you built in lego club when it was your turn to man the booth at the science expo.

Learning to whistle. You were walking down the hall whistling, and Eden said, “Hey, you know how to whistle.” You replied,”Yeah I’ve been doing it for a few days now.” I’m sure it was only a few days because just the week before we were talking about how to whistle and you could not. 🙂

Teaching Eden how to do the laundry.

Getting your cello. You read the care card and it mentioned avoiding extreme heat or cold. Right after we got it we stopped at Smith’s for me to run inside and get Daddy orange juice. You were worried about it being too hot in the trunk for it, or it being in there for too long. We said it would be OK because even with the stop on our way home, it would be a shorter trip than traveling to your actual lessons.

“This place is so beautiful, and dusty.” referring to Cathedral Gorge, Nevada.

Going to see your first official Broadway play, Marry Poppins, with me. It was a great way to spend my birthday.

Starting cello lessons and thus starting cello practice. I’m hoping we can work together and not drive one another crazy.

I love you more.

Eden:

(This happened April 30th.) Performing on stage with only one other student from your recorder class and a teacher. You did an awesome job.

Helping me find a recipe to use with our very ripe bananas. You found a Banana, raisin, walnut muffin recipe that was in your Highlights magazine. It was a big hit. (We used wheat flour and substituted the raisins with chocolate chips. I don’t really care for raisins in food.)

The speech evaluation came back showing that you would need therapy. We have a plan for you, but now it might not be until the next school year before anything might happen.

Humming. Ever since we had the family night for SEEK you’ve been humming Cold Play, Rule the World. The orchestra played it, and you’ve hear it on the radio. Drives me a little nuts to hear the same little tune over and over.

Cutting your hair off for Locks of Love. You decided last minute that morning, since you had around 11 inches. You now remind me of my toddler Eden.

While hiking at Cathedral Gorge I told Lilah some monster was hiding in the cave and would eat her. You immediately said to her, “If you die, I get your My Little Ponies.”

Throwing up while we were camping. 🙁

I was telling Lilah she only had one mom so she should be nice to me. You replied, “What if we had 13? Then we could be mean to one.” (I have a strict no one can tickle mommy, but mommy can tickle her children policy and I don’t think you’d really like 13 mommies.)

Jon:

Actually being surprised by your birthday gifts. You forgot that you had sent me an e-mail telling be about the gifts I got you.

Planning a day for our May date. Trying to make sure we get a date each month for our ten year celebration, something I suggested.

Getting me orchids for Mother’s Day. They’ve lasted a month and are definitely a cool flower.

Visiting your parents about once a week.

Starting a written journal.

Traveling to Cathedral Gorge to view the annular eclipse at an optimal place.

You were the brave parent and slept next to Eden after she had thrown up that evening. I, on the other hand, freaked out a little when I heard Lilah cough in the night and worried that she might actually throw up on me.

Taking me and the girls out to dinner to celebrate my birthday.

So I turn 29 later this week.
Twenty-nine.

As I tried to be introspective on life, I decided I’d write a poem instead of some post about getting old. (Ha, I’m still writing a post on getting old. Fooled you!)

For some reason I felt that a haiku would be the best way to be reflective. I actually did some research to make sure it was more Haiku than not.
5-7-5 syllable lines:check.
Reference to a season: check.
Be vague: check (This one I made up.)

I decided I’m entering the Summer of my life. Sure my Spring might have technically been over 5 years ago, but I think each season is different for each person, and I’m hoping that I’m just leaving my Spring season. 🙂

So here I am. Nearly 29 with life ahead of me and 29 years lived. I have two children who are not babies anymore. One will soon be nine and her time living with us will begin counting down, instead of up. The other not fair behind.

Most of my peers are just beginning the family part of their life. They’re just getting married, or they’re just starting to have kids. I have a handful of friends who have older kids like mine, but I definitely have the oldest child and I’m fine with that. I’ve experienced a lot, but in other ways I’ve experienced so little.

It’s interesting as Jon and I plan for our future. He still worries about Parkinson’s or not being able to work, but I am just looking forward and wondering what shape our lives will take.
Where will we go over the coming years?
Where will we travel together?
What things do we want to accomplish as a family?
What will I do with myself as the girls get older?
Since I’m “just” a mother and a wife, I see a lot of possibilities for myself. I don’t have a career to tie me down, I can study and do what I like in the coming years and it’s OK if it changes and it’s OK if I stay just a mother and a wife. I know I might short change myself, but in some ways I see there is so much I can do, and much I can become. I hope I’m able to help my girls see their possibilities. I love watching them grow. There are growing pains, but it’s interesting to see who they are becoming.

I’m so thankful to have a wonderful husband who loves me and allows me to be me, with all my weaknesses, I always feel support and love. I know there will be trials in the years ahead, and I hope we can work through them together, as we already have.

I am really enjoying this time in my life, except the getting older part.
I still think I’m only 23.

The Summer heat looms
Possibilities endless
As she starts her life

So here is what is going on in the Blake house.

First, we put an offer in on a house. I actually have a long post about the process and why we decided to buy a house instead of taking my dream vacation on an Alaskan cruise this year, but I’ve decided to keep it private for now. The offer was put in the end of January/ early February, I really don’t remember the date, and it’s now in the banks hands because it is a short sale. There’s a joke about why are short sales called short sales if they take so long? Well I know why, and I just hope that the wait is worth it and everything goes well. Time will tell. We’ll still need to negotiate with the bank, so yeah, we’ll see if we can come to an agreement and if they can come to an agreement with the home-owner too.

Because we decided to try to buy a house right now there are a lot of things in limbo. Trips we aren’t taking, cleaning that’s not happening, and mostly just a slightly anxious Lacey.
We’re going less places because we might need the money for the house, or we might be moving and don’t want to be gone when we should be packing. (Big maybe as the summer approaches.) I’m felling depressed about our current state because all I can think of is how I want a bigger house and if I had a bigger house I could keep all our stuff, useful or not, and we’d have space. I went into full freak out mode on Jon this past Sunday, and instead of just listening to me whine about how I hate cleaning/organizing because there is not enough room, he made me do something. Men. They always love to fix things. Truth be told, it was helpful to go through the kitchen stuff, and it looks tons better, even with a sink full of dishes. He’s even in charge of getting the stuff to D.I.
Cleaning out the kitchen this Sunday helped me have motivation to clean the girl’s room on Monday, and even though we still have the boxes of stuff I pulled out to put away, we now have room to store the cello Lilah will begin lessons on this Summer.

So there is a rainbow after the storm of Lacey. Our new goal is to go over at least one area/room each week together. Our house is full of stuff and it stinks, but if we don’t move, we still have to live here, and we are still living here now, so I’ll continue to try to make it less chaotic.

Lilah will start cello lessons this month. It’s with our homeschooling co-op, or a mom who teaches professionally, so I’m excited. We’ll see how it goes.

Co-op is over and I survived teaching Chemistry! We don’t know what science we’ll be teaching next term, but it will probably be biology or physics.(I team taught with another mom.) I think I can handle biology or physics. While I did alright with chemistry, it’s not something I easily understand. It was a hard class for me to teach, even with very plainly written lessons from a manual for kids. I feel like I get it now, but boy was there lots of discussions to make sure I understood it correctly. We did jeopardy on the final day, and the kids remembered a lot. I was pretty impressed with them.

On a very bright note, the girls and I have been jamming and baking. I bought 24 pounds of strawberries and had to do something with all of them. We sold/gave some to family, made freezer jam, made regular jam and put the rest in the freezer. The girls helped me with the regular jam. Both cutting up the berries, Eden into fourths and Lilah then cut them into the smaller pieces, then they took turns mashing them. I’m so use to doing things alone, or them making the project harder, I forgot how useful they sometimes can be. The work went quickly, especially since I had other things to prepare and do for the canning.
Then last night Eden and I made some Banana, walnut, raisin muffins, with chocolate chips instead of raisins. (Ick, raisins in cooking.) I had some bananas that needed to be used and Eden suggested a recipe she read in Highlights. It turned out delicious. Lilah is now planning on making some cookies with me on Wednesday.

On a last note, we’ve been nursing Lilah’s hamster, Sleepy. He caught his leg on a toy over a week ago and we think broke it. There was no bleeding, except for the bites he gave Lilah and I while trying to help him, so we didn’t take him to the vet. Once freed he was back to his gentle self. He seems to be doing better, but has lost a lot of weight and his fur has thinned. I’m hoping with some added nutrition to his diet he’ll look better. He’s old and the injury was pretty scary. Since we cleaned his cage today, he decided to make the litter box his new sleeping spot. Strange little hamster. I hope he lives for a while longer. (His leg appears to be fine, just not quite right. He never gnawed at it or did anything that made us worry, so we let him be.)

So that’s what’s been happening here.

Have you had any meltdown moments? Have you then enjoyed the sweet things in life?

Lilah:

Being excited when I told you I bought some spinach.

Playing school with your chalk board place mats. You were the teacher teaching Eden.

Liking that babies like you.

Wanting to wear your Easter dress two weeks in a row.

When I told you we would not be able to go to Death Valley you asked if you could go play with Andrea. (Andrea was in town with Zarina and Poppy.)

Complaining about not eating the morning I tried to get your blood taken. It was a fasting blood sample. It was 8 am, and you regularly do not eat till 9 am. The exception being Sunday and Monday.

Bugs. You love them and want to keep some in our house.

Wanting the huge bear at the church auction. We were able to get it, and you were so excited.

Sadly, Sleepy was injured this month. You’ve tried to take extra good care of him. When folding clothes you told Eden to be extra quiet when putting them away so she wouldn’t wake him.

Eden:

Setting aside candy to give to the Easter Bunny, even though you knew the Easter Bunny would not be bringing you candy.

Adding cookie to your breakfast oatmeal.

Not wanting to eat certain food because of your two loose front teeth.

Being excited for your grammar workbook.

My Little Ponies. You love them, or going in a cycle of playing with them again. Mostly because My Little Ponies can now be found on Netflix to watch.

Recognizing the song Funky Town on the radio before me. Just Dance Kids apparently has as one of their songs.

You haven’t participated in Lego Club a lot. At first you kinda did, but as the weeks progressed, you haven’t. You did help glue the pictures for the display board and you’re excited to be getting your own shirt.

Sleeping on the huge bear we won at the church auction. You and Lilah take turns sleeping with “Sparkles” .

Jon:

Hiding the hard boiled eggs for the girls before we got home from church. Stepping up the hiding places and making them harder since the girls are older.

Watching My Little Ponies with the girls.

Working hard on maintaining your weight.