Is It Naptime Yet

I wanted to wait to go to Costco because we have no money in the food part of the budget until July, which begins tomorrow, but we needed eggs and a couple other things. As I was at Smith’s I figured I would get some eye drops that the doctor recommended for Jon. They were $15 for a 30 mL (1 fluid oz.) bottle. Now Smith’s does gas rewards so I thought if I spend $15 more than I can get the $0.05 reward per gallon of gas. So I thought I’d just buy things we needed or would use for the next month to get the rewards. Well, I wasn’t keeping track so the items added up. In short I hit the $30 mark and had I spent $8 more than I could have gotten $0.10 rewards on my gas. 🙂

My train of thought is horrible. But at least everything I got at Smith’s was justified and things that we will use over the next couple weeks or months ahead for our food storage or just to stock up. The costs will just roll over to July’s food budget.
Some of the things I got at Target before I went to Smith’s, now they could have also waited, but I didn’t know when the next time I’d be at Target, so I thought I’d get it while I was there. 🙂

Jon should do the shopping I’ve decided.

Also, while at Target I saw a loss prevention sting in action. As I walked in and went by the Women’s section and the hand bags, I saw a guy in black shirt and khakis crouching and looking towards the dressing rooms. Well, I just continued to walk and then saw him dash past me into the lingerie section. I saw him meet up with another guy in polo and khakis and they continued to monitor the dressing room or men’s area. Then I turned down an isle and a their was another guy in khakis and a polo in the women’s shoe department also watching the same area. Lilah at this point was already asking questions about the guy hiding earlier and then this other guy hiding. I started to say that they were watching someone who was stealing, but I stopped after that because I didn’t know who they were watching and I didn’t want the suspect to hear me.
I later saw the same guys and they were talking to their supervisor about the description of the guy. It seems that he got away, or decided to not steal from what I heard.

I’ve never noticed loss prevention at Target. My dad did loss prevention at Sears for a long time, so as a kid and teenager I liked to watch for men in khakis and polo’s with walkie talkies in department stores. Now they probably just use cell phones. I also knew what they were doing the moment I saw the first guy meet up with the other in lingerie, though it could have been a strange hide and seek game of 18- 20 something year old guys.
So that was my Target trip. Loss prevention in action. Too bad they couldn’t prevent me from loosing my spending habits while there.

I have to make the girls dresses for my sister Carolyn’s wedding but the pattern I want is no where to be found at JoAnn’s, where I have a sister and a mother who work. I may just order it online. The other problem is it only goes down to a size 3, or one size larger than what Eden is, but I think I can adjust it, maybe….:)

I have less than 2 months to make two dresses and drapes. Why drapes? Because I have just one set to go and I feel bad when things like this come up and delay me even more on these sewing projects for my house. I also only have only one set to go!!
I would make a dress for myself or a skirt but one, I don’t have the time and two, they never fit me right.
I want something like this for the wedding, but it’s pricey.
If you want to donate to my “dress to wear to Carolyn’s fund” wedding just e-mail me or make a or comment. 😉

(There is this dress which is less pricey, but it’ I still like this pricey one a little better. Of course I could want the most expensive one from this site.)

For our Ely trip Jon took Friday, Monday and Tuesday off. He took three days off so he wouldn’t lose two hard earned vacation days with the new fiscal year that begins this July. (Yay! More money, just to be spent on my now due student loans.) (He can only role over a certain amount of vacation time to the new year.)
So the past couple of days have been us at home doing not much of anything on our to-do list. One reason is some things cost money and we don’t have much of it. Another reason is when were home together we don’t do anything but read, do regular chores so the house isn’t overrun in chaos, though at times it is anyways, and we each try to use the computer when the other isn’t on it.
My friend Sam’s husband is a teacher and he’s home during the summertime. I can’t imagine how slothful Jon and I would be together if he was a teacher and we had about 3 months to be at home together.

Literally the dishes are never completely done and the laundry never completely put away on his vacation days. (Not that it’s that much different on days he’s at work, but I have been able to keep the sink empty most of the time.)
There’s also toys that are kept on the floor due to us not making the girls clean up through out the day.
Chaos on vacation days, utter chaos.
Weekends can be different. Jon will do a lot on weekends sometimes. Sometimes he makes me feel bad because he’ll do more laundry or dishes than I did the entire week. Sunday is usually our not do anything day on weekends though.

So the things we accomplished the past couple of days. Monday Jon finished the clothes that I started, which included folding and putting away whites, folding towels that had been washed last week, and washing and folding the girls clothes. I did one load of dishes, but only because I felt bad because I slept half the day and he worked hard watching the girls and doing laundry. I was just soo tired and exhausted though. Jon also baked bread Monday night. Not much of anything else happened but Jon did do a lot. Today we went to the Library to return and check out books for the girls and one on home-schooling for us to read and we dropped our Netflix in the mail.

Vacation.

Really we’re not go-to people. We’re stay home and cuddle people.

Also:
Lilah got Eden her blanket for bedtime. While Eden said the prayer the first thing she said was about Lilah getting the blanket. It may have had thank you in there also. I just thought it was too cute.

I have 26 blogs that I’m tracking on bloglines.
I have 3 that I have to track myself.
I don’t want to know how many Jon tracks. It’s crazy.

I would put them all on my sidebar, but I feel that some people prefer to keep theirs private and some I just lurk so I don’t want them knowing I read.  Mu-ha-ha.
How many blogs do you read?

My husband has his own blog and it deals primarily with his evolving thoughts on religion and other things. My blog is primarily about my day to day life and the things I do with my girls. Every once in a while I get things that peeve me but overall it’s my life not much more.
I’ve recently gotten e-mails from old friends who have discovered my blog and the post specifically dealing with Jon’s decision to become a nonbeliever in Mormonism, or as he would like to say a naturalist.
I haven’t posted much about life and how I’m dealing with it because, like I tell many, it doesn’t affect me each day and it is not a burden per say in my life. I have a difficult path ahead of me, but I feel that my marriage is secure.

Jon is open with Lilah who asks so many questions and with that she asks questions about Jon’s non belief in God. So I have to, and he has to, answer questions about why Daddy doesn’t believe in God and why Mommy does. We try to show each others side and not just persuade her to one.
The funniest thought Lilah had because of this was this question: “Why doesn’t Daddy believe in poop?” She ask this question a couple of times as I dealt with the aftermath of her bodily functions, but I tried to explain that Daddy does believe in poop because you can see poop, no I didn’t add feel, I went on to say that Daddy doesn’t believe in God because he can’t see God, but Mommy believes in God because of the good feelings she’s had. I know it sounds a little lame but I am trying to put it in Layman’s terms for my just 4 a week ago 4 year old.
So, my new dilemma is testifying my belief to my daughters. I don’t see it so much as a trial but as an opportunity for me to learn and gain a greater understanding of my faith so that I can tell them in Layman’s term now and as they age tell them in deeper terms so they can then decide for themselves.

I am well. I love my husband and my daughters. I am happy.
I just wanted to put this little update so those who might wonder how I’m doing know that I am well. All prayers are still welcomed though. I still think they are needed, but more in the light to help me find my way in faith rather than find my way in adversity.
Some might say that this is my trial, my flame to becoming purified through Christ. I don’t know if I see completely that way. After all how is Jon’s disbelief suppose to get me to the celestial kingdom if I can’t be with the person I love? I see it as a way to show a more pure love towards my husband and a pure love towards my children whom might follow my path or chose another.
I ache and long to know my destiny. I wish I could see the end, not to change it, well maybe to change it, but so I know the difficulties that lie ahead.

Our hike

We found a cactus- surprise surprise.

Notice Carolyn’s cris cross shirt back? Yeah, she got a cris cross sunburn.

So cute.

It’s a blurry picture but I think it’s still so cute.

Carolyn and Lilah at the top of the hill.

One of the views at the top.

Eden’s dusty legs.

Eden gets the royal treatment.

Around the house.

Everyone loves an Oreo mustache on a cute girl.

Eden couldn’t get enough of Jack. Too bad he got enough of her.

The Duck pond.

Brien and Andrea at the pond. It was the best picture I got of them.

(Sorry Andrea.)

Rosy cheeks from our hike and a little pizza sauce from dinner.

The big picture.

The close-up of the smiling Eden.

Saying good-bye to the ducks.

So we left Friday afternoon at 2:09 and got to Ely just before 6.
On the way there Lilah decided she wanted to do camping and hiking, but we didn’t bring anything to camp with and so she’d have to be happy with just hiking. Next time I think we’ll bring a tent if the weather is beautiful once again.
We had delicious shredded beef burritos which the girls just picked apart. After dinner Jon, Carolyn, the girls and I took a walk to to the top of Andrea and Brien’s street. (Lilah wanted to go hiking, so instead we just took Jack for a walk.)
It was a big hill after we had big dinner. Our walk gave Andrea and Brien time to do things that they weren’t able to before we got there.
We just hung out and got settled in the rest of the night.
Lilah slept horribly. She wandered into the living room where Carolyn was and then later she wandered into Andrea and Brien’s room. At this point she slept with me and Jon went and slept on the twin air mattress next to Eden’s playpen where we had Lilah. It was a very interrupted night and Lilah woke up very early since the window faced east. It was just rough.
We had a delicious breakfast though. Chocolate waffles, sausage and strawberries. Afterwards all Lilah wanted to do was hike. So we hiked up the street again and found some ATV trails in the wilderness that were close to the house.
None of us put on sun screen so the girls got a little rosy and so did Jon. Carolyn got the worst of it and I just got a little sunburned on the top of my shoulders, since I was trying to avoid getting an even darker farmers tan.
We had fun and Lilah loved hiking. She kept wanted to go farther on the trail, but we kept it kinda short for Eden and the bright sun, though it was still a long hike.
We ate lunch and Eden took a nap.
Lilah eventually took a nap .
We hung out and watched different things on TV for the afternoon. Teen Witch being the movie that was on ABC family.
Then we ate at Mr. G’s for dinner, a newer restaurant in town.
Service is slower in Ely all around, and this is from our experience and from Andrea and Brien’s confirmation.
After dinner we feed the ducks and geese at the park.
We took a short video of Eden saying bye to the ducks. It was too cute.
On the video we have her saying bye, bye, but right before we took it she was saying “bye, it’s nice to see you, bye ducks.”
Really it was soo cute. I wish I knew a way to put it up besides the youtube method.
Then after the duck pond we went to the house and watched Brien dig a hole for the tree they had bought that afternoon. Carolyn, Andrea, Brien and I talked while the girls ran around from the back door to the front and then around the side of the house. Jon sat on the front porch to make sure they didn’t veer off the beaten path and go towards the street. It was a little chilly for us Las Vegans but it was perfect for the Ely couple.
Saturday night went a little smoother until the morning. Brien gave Lilah one of the candles from their wedding decorations, it’s a light, and Lilah slept until 5:00 am, and then came to our room to announce that the candle hadn’t burned out. ( I had warned her that it was old and may not last the whole night.) She then eventually went back to sleep with us and Jon got up when Eden awoke crying at some point in the morning. It was a rough start to the day and predicted Eden’s mood. Eden was pretty sensitive and would start crying easily on Sunday. Luckily it was the last day otherwise Brien would be getting early training on how to deal with an ornery child, which he’s bound to have with any Harvey genes in the child.
But to tell the truth she was perfectly fine while Brien and Andrea were at church. Of course we did watch the Little Mermaid and paint the girl’s toe nails. Andrea suggested we paint the toe nails, I would never give my girls this idea.They went to church at 11, and we stayed at the house to shower and pack. We waited until they got home and we left about 2:45. Eden fell asleep quickly and the trip back home went smoothly.
It was fun to see and just be with family. I like just being with family, I don’t need a reason or activity to get together.

We went to Ely this weekend and visited Andrea and Brien. It was lots of fun just seeing them and relaxing.
We have some very cute pictures and I’ll post them as soon as I get the energy.
My favorite things about the weekend though:
1. Lilah wanting to go hiking all the time. Though I didn’t, I thought it was cute.
2. Eden gathering all of Jack’s toys for him and wanting to give them to him anytime he came around her but he was totally not interested in a almost two year old. I have some cute pictures of her lying next to him also.
Carolyn came with us, it was really her idea to go, so the girls also had fun having their aunt in the back seat with them.
They love Carolyn.

I really do wish I could bring her on every trip, she makes life easier.

I’m not sure what to do right now. Well I have plenty of things I should be doing, but I don’t wanna.

I recently read a short article on memory journals. Instead of just writing down and listing what you did that day make it a memory, or more of the experience. My example for the day would be:

I looked out the back door watching my two daughters exploring the insects. They stood on the concrete and jumped to keep the ants from getting them. Lilah was instructing Eden that “we should be nice to ants so they don’t bite us, and we don’t want to step on them because then they’ll bite you.” I pressed my face against the glass door and watched their youth. Then the duties of the laundry called and I left to fold clothes.
Later in the night Lilah trickled in. She needed new pants for hers had gotten dirty. Then even later Jon and Eden came in. Eden sat next to me and I could smell the outside scent of dirt and sweat on her head. I would like to say it was enjoyable, but little children don’t always smell nice. Cough, cough, and that’s literally what I did for a short period because of her smell of exploration and sweat.

Now this was not as nice of an example as the woman’s, but I don’t know if I can be as mushy as she was all the time.
Eden really did smell and for the sake of Carolyn I think I’ll give her a bath tomorrow morning.

Also just two months until Carolyn gets married. Which means I have two months to make two dresses and figure out what I’m going to wear. Ugh.

Do I miss school? I think I can finally say yes, I miss going to school.
I read a blog a little while back by daring young mom about keeping current and I thought, maybe I should go back and get my masters? Of course it was fleeting and the thought only lasted that evening. To think about what I want to do once my kids are grown is scary.

I think I would like to teach college, but I’m not sure. I think it would be nice to have a psychology practice, but it would be more of a refuge for teenage girls who are in trouble.  I  hope that someday I’ll know what I want to be and that I’ll have the self confidence to do it. Right now it’s like, wow a masters is a lot. Do I really want a masters? Of course it’s no help seeing Jon having a difficult time getting into the Master’s program, and I know he’s much more intelligent than I am. (It’s more of the process of getting three academic letters of recommendation. He’s going to take a class this fall and hopefully if he does well he’ll be able to ask that teacher for a letter of recommendation and things will go smoothly after this. )
Anyways, as I am left not doing much of anything besides taking care of my daughters, I wonder if I have more that I should be doing. I wouldn’t want to go to school while Jon was in school. That would make life a little crazy yet again. He’d take classes during the day and would need to study at night, so to have me take classes at night would probably be pretty difficult while he’s going to school. Then I wonder how long will we be in Vegas. Once he’s finished with his masters I want him to look at other universities to see if he can move ahead in his field. I really want to get out of Vegas once he gets his masters, but if he decides to get a PhD I’d be willing to wait as long as we’re in a bigger house by then. 😉
Life is just so unsure. I want to keep my studies and life experiences current, but it takes so much to be a mom that it can be hard when what you’re interested in needs to be done outside the home. I’m not a writer so I can’t just sit at home and write. I need to be out there learning or doing things that are related to psychology or criminal justice. I just don’t know what.

I feel a little lost.  Really I don’t want to be making money or working, I just want to be developing myself and my mind.
I don’t know if I’m ready to go back for an even higher degree. I worry that it would be ten times harder since we’re still planning on having at least one more child and a masters is much different than a bachelors. I just wish I knew where to go from here and that I knew what turns life will give me so I can prepare now.
Would you go back and get a masters if you were planning on staying home, home schooling and having a child while you were doing it?