Is It Naptime Yet

Jon recently had his second annual physical. He’s in a lot better shape than last year. He’s lost 15 pounds, got his cholesterol in the good range and is basically a much healthier person.

He’s changed his diet, but has off days where he eats things that aren’t great for him, but that’s the point of off days. They’re days off from the normal healthy diet. He also exercises on our exercise bike pretty regularly. (Sometimes more regularly than others, but who am I to judge since I call bringing in the groceries exercise. Not really, but in reality that’s my biggest workout.)

I on the other hand do not get physicals, but I can tell you I don’t have breast cancer since my OBGYN is the only doctor I see once a year. Oh, I also don’t have glaucoma, well I may, but I’ll find out Thursday.
I have also gained 5 pounds since buying our scale earlier this year. Yuck.

In an effort to at least try to get healthier and happier I was glancing through some community classes at a rec center my girls will be taking dance at. (No more gymnastics. They want to do dance and we’re also changing rec centers. I’m using the dance class as potty training incentive and so far we’ve only had two accidents in two days.)

Back to the main topic. I was looking for a workout class to take but all the cardio kick and other classes were at night, or on Saturdays.  I didn’t want to take away from my evenings or Saturdays. I looked into the yoga classes and they had a morning class that wouldn’t cause me to need a babysitter since Jon would still be home getting ready for work. I knew my friend Sam took a yoga class at the rec center so I asked her about it. She wasn’t currently taking it but was wanting to sign up again for the session coming up. I decided to take the plunge and signed up for the class.

It’s not a quick weight loss class, like a cardio class would have been since I do zero exercising, but yoga does help with muscle strength and overall health.

The only problem, it’s at 6 am. Like, in the morning and I do not wake up before 7 am, and that’s only on very rare occasions.

I’ve been wanting to change my schedule. I’ve been wanting to wake up early and get my days started. I stay up late and sleep in to avoid house work and other things. I use sleeping as a escape mechanism from the things I don’t want to deal with.

So my new goal is to wake up early and begin my day so I’m ready for my children and they’re not occupying their time with TV or coloring while I catch up on sleep.

I hope to create a more harmonious home and happier place to be. I’m not crazy about housework, but I know I can keep a better home if I devote a little more time.   I often hit walls where I don’t know what to do with the papers that need to be filed or I can’t seem to find a place to store something.
I hate to throw away the girls artwork but I don’t have time to scan or take pictures of everything they draw, especially since we get anywhere from two to twelve pictures from them in a single day.  I get overwhelmed and bored with the gross monotonous jobs, like cleaning blinds and washing down walls that always look dirty.

I know if I successfully want to get up for my early Yoga class I’ll need to go to bed early and wake up early, even on the days I don’t have yoga. This will give me plenty of time to clean since there will be fewer television shows and blogs to take up my time. (I use TV and the computer as an escape mechanism also.) I may even venture to use our exercise bike or my pilates videos that are gathering dust. Waking up early will also give me more time with Jon and time to prepare for my days.

I admit I have a hard time waking up early because I also run out of things to do. I mean there are things to do, but I didn’t want to do them and if I get them done come the middle of the day I have no shows to distract me. I now feel I have more things to do and waking up early is the next solution so there is less rushing. I suppose I could try reading more. Now that I’ve been out of college for nearly two years I should be over my no more reading stage. I think I’ll begin with juvenile fictions that I never read in my youth.

I want to be happier, but sometimes a person doesn’t have the energy to take actions to be happier. It can be hard.
I’ve never had full blown depression, though I know I get down times.

As Fall approaches I want to begin anew. I want to have time to teach Lilah and Eden, rather then leave them to their own devices most of the time.

I don’t want to make excuses anymore. I want to lose weight and have a tidier home.

Most importantly I want to find more joy in my role as a mother. I have joy at times, but I know I can work on it.

I am happy, but I have my unhappy times and they overshadow the good. I want the good to overshadow the bad.

So here’s to waking up for a 6 am class three days a week. I have this next week to adjust to getting up early before the class begins, but I think I might sleep in a few more days. Afterall it’s my last week of sleep before I have to wake up because I’ve paid for a class.

In our house we have a specific bath routine. I watch and bathe the girls. Eden is the first one out and I give her to Jon to dry her and get her diaper, now pull-up on. Then Lilah is washed and has to get herself dried and dressed.

Lately when I’ve bathed them it’s been during the day so I’ve helped Eden. She was confused the first time and asked for Daddy, but he was at work.

Saturday night I bathed and got Eden out of the tub and walked her to Daddy.

Jon took her to the bedroom to dry off, and get the pull-ups on but Eden was being aware of her body and told Jon, “You can’t see my genitals.”

Jon saw that Eden wanted her privacy so he told her to put on her pull-up and come out when she needed more help getting dry or her pajamas on.

Eden came out just a few short seconds after Jon still wrapped in the towel, so Jon asked her if she had her pull-ups on, and she didn’t, so he told her to go get some on.

When she walked down the hallway her towel was low and her little bum was hanging out.

We thought it a little ironic.

I guess we all have similar bums, even if we look different up front.

…but not for me.

Jon’s had two moles removed, both precancerous, and one will need to be sutured, like mine.

We have it scheduled for the 25th. Four weeks after mine was performed, so I can technically do all my normal activities. It’s also the last Wednesday in June so her last operating day before July thus keeping it in this years deductible. (Our insurance goes by the fiscal year or renews in July.)

Jon’s suture will be in the middle of his back right on the spine. Such a fun place.

I told him I’d have to do all the heavy lifting and he said I might find out how little he does. 😉

He does help a lot in a lot of little ways so I’ll be on my own in a very big way after 3 to 4 weeks of doing very little. I did the dishes yesterday and today I’m already back to the ‘I don’t want to do dishes’ mode.

So much fun.

What takes 3 days and 8 hours to create?

The best home made Finding Nemo Pinata ever! I think it’s the best anyways.

It took 2 days to do two layers of papier mache. The first taking about 1 1/2 hours and the second taking 1 hour, each with 24 hours to dry.

Then I also had to make the fins, which took about 30 minutes to cut out and figure a way to attach to the balloon covered in papier mache. (Painters tape works well, not plastic packing tape.)

I spent about 4 hours decorating it.

This is one of those times being a perfectionist is not good.

And I could have bought this one for $10 on sale at Target, but why spend $10 to break something if you have yourself and time to kill.  (Really I was just being cheap.)

My aching back is telling me the moral of the story is $10 on sale or even $12 full price is so worth it for a pinata.

Jon went back to work today. Eden asked where Daddy was this morning since he’s been around so much. He had left while the girls were still asleep and he let me stay in bed and rest rather then get up. She was a little sad that she wasn’t able to say goodbye, which they usually are whenever he leaves while they’re alseep.

I really like having Jon around. At Christmastime he takes a mandatory week off and it’s always nice to lounge around, do whatever and leave parenting to him. Well, not all to him since I get impatient quicker.

My shoulder is already bothering me a little this morning. Who knew 2/3 of a gallon of milk could be so heavy? Jon’s been pouring milk and pushing Eden up to the table so I had forgotten how heavy she was too. I know I also overdid it last night before bedtime . I wiped off the table, left handed but you still have to bend over and use your back muscles, and I swept. Two things that were greatly weighing me down. (I like to keep my table crumb and spot free and a crumby floor really gets to me too. ) I just hated the thought of asking Jon to do those two chores because he had so much he’s had to do and I know how hard it is to have no help. (He helps often, but when he’s gone on business trips I get pretty down on all I have to do.) Eden was also being very difficult and not going potty before bed so I put her on the toilet and then I picked her up to get her to wash her hands. It was a very difficult bedtime and probably one of the worst tantrums she’s ever thrown.

I’ve learned that icing my wound really helps to relive any aches it might have, though I’m sure I’ve already stretched out the wound with all I’ve been doing. She tried to reinforce the wound with stronger stitches, no doubt because my other scar is so big.

I’m taking it easy for the rest of the day. Lunch should be pretty easy and I’m not sure what I’ll make for dinner, but I’ll try not to lift anything more than a pound. I’ll just try not to lose my patience with the girls. They’re in their room playing so I’m gonna let them be and put on a movie to distract me. Hopefully they don’t make too big of a mess, and even if they do they’ll just need to willingly clean it up.

I actually have a few different blog post to catch up on or do, but I figured I’d do them throughout the week since I have nothing else I’m allowed to do.

Today was the day  I had my minor surgery. Jon’s being a doll and doing everything he can for me. He’s carried my purse, got the milk for my cereal and has been overall very helpful, at least for the time I’ve been awake. ( I took a long nap this afternoon/ early evening.)

We’ll know if the cells are just abnormal or if they’ve developed to melanoma on June 11th. Jon also had an appointment today and one mole removed for testing.

I’m hoping it was just funny looking.

I’ve finished painting. One coat of primer and two coats of paint and I’m done.

My muscles are killing me. KILLING I said.

I like latex paint much better. It rinses out nicely with water.

I also had the right tools for the color coats and it went much smoother. ( For edging I used a roller that had a special head and it was  soo much easier than than using a paint brush for edging. )
I am pleased and if I use latex paint and the right tools it makes it all worth it. I also think I lost 5 pounds from good old hard work and lots of sweat, but I’ve gained two monstrous zits just in time for my 25th birthday.

I’m going to go lay down and I know I will awake with a lot of pain tomorrow.

Before

After

P.S. The cat came by while I was painting today and went to come in, but I was on the step stool in front of the door and yelled at him. He is crazy.

I had Jon take a picture of my scar after my shower this morning.

I didn’t measure it, but I’m sure it’s over an inch in length.

Here’s a close up.

You can see how it looks like I have a mole within that smaller scar to the bottom left and I do, hence the surgery coming up.

I just hate not being able to do anything for four weeks. (I know I have some family members who are in worse situations than me or similar because they can’t do things they wish, but it’s constant and not for just four weeks, but for years.)

If I don’t want to do anything I like it to be because of my own laziness and not because of a surgery.

I also remember how frustrating it was to depend on people since Eden was only a year old and still needed to be lifted in and out of her crib and into the high chair, handed to me to nurse, and changed.

I had some great friends who helped me and my mom came by when she could.

This time I have two older girls who don’t need lifted, except the toilet when we’re out and about and if Lilah’s already using the girl’s bathroom Eden needs help with our toilet. Also I’ll just have to get up earlier to allow the time it takes for them to do things on there own and leave a few minutes earlier so I can let Eden get into her seat by herself, instead of rushing her.

I only see time out being a problem. Kids never want to go to time out and mine are no different. I often have to carry them there or push them along by there back while they walk.

Plus it wasn’t just depending on others to help with the girls, it was not being able to do as much around the house and having to leave it for Jon that was also hard.

Patience. Pray for me to have patience.

So yesterday I packed up some junk things we don’t use anymore into our trunk to give to Carolyn for her work’s charity garage sale.

Today I woke up to my wonderful Eden asking for something to eat and Jon already being gone. I’m sure I was just too out of it when he went to give me my goodbye kiss and left me to sleep. I’m sorry dear.

I eventually got into my shower and the girls breakfast and us out the door.

We got to Carolyn’s work and after giving her the stuff the girls got their exercise by walking and running around the ramp and stairs that are outside her work. They make a square and are soo fun according the Lilah. We also had time to kill before meeting Anna and my mom at Sweet Tomato’s so it was perfect. After a few laps I asked about anyone needing to go potty and Eden did. Lilah waited in the foyer. Then Lilah had to go and Eden waited in the foyer.
I guess Eden was also singing because one of the women on the office, who loves my girls, came out and complemented Eden on her sweet singing voice. You could tell Eden loved the compliment.

We then went to Sweet Tomatoes and stuffed ourselves full of good food.

My mom took my girls in my car back to her house and I took her car to my doctor’s appointment, or the whole reason I went to Henderson in the first place.

It was an appointment with my dermatologist. Jon noticed one of my moles/ freckles looking abnormal on my arm and I figured I should go now since our deductible has been paid by the girl’s two incidents last year and July is when the fiscal year ends and we’d have to pay it down again.
She said it was good that I was watching the two moles on my arms, but they’re not suspicious enough to remove.
But one of the moles that was removed on my back appears to be coming back, or there is pigment in the scar, and since the cells were abnormal I have to get it sutured.

I really hate this.

These two post explain a little of what I’m went through two years ago when I had precancerous or abnormal cells.

I guess they removed all the abnormal cells, or precancerous cells, but they were pretty deep so their was a chance the mole might grow back, and since it appears to be doing that she has to remove a lot of skin or suture me and they’ll retest and hopefully they’re just abnormal and not melanoma cells. It’s right under my previously sutured area.

It really sucks.

I have the appointment for the end of May. Jon has two weeks off and it’ll be in the middle of the second week. I figure we deserve at least one week of vacation, or time to do stuff, and the second week we can relax at home  and he’ll be there to help me for the first few days since I won’t be able to lift anything heavy, bend over or stretch my back for four weeks.

My doctor says I appear to get pretty thick scars, which is no fun. So I’ll have two scars right by on another. I think I’ll have Jon take a picture so you can understand how beautiful it will be. Luckily they are on my back, but they’re on my shoulder so it’s not a pretty sight when I’m in a swim suit.

It also bites because I won’t be able to go swimming for four weeks, or until the stitches are removed. Which means we’ll have to delay swimming lessons for Lilah, and I won’t be able to go swimming at her birthday party.

I figure it’s better to do it now though, rather then the middle of the summer when it’s the hottest and after we’ve already gone swimming.

It really saddens me to have these abnormal moles.

I have a lot of freckles and moles and as I more closely inspected my spotted back this morning I began to hate what I saw.
Instead of beautiful freckles that made me unique I saw potentially deadly cells that would eventually be taken off and leave by body scarred and ugly.

I know that not all of them will become harmful, but I’ve shown promising potential that they will. All three moles removed two years ago on my back were abnormal and two will leave large scars because of the depth of the cells in my skin. Every freckle and mole on me has the potential to change and become harmful.

I am grateful that I haven’t been diagnosed with melanoma. My doctor mentioned how once diagnosed you have to come in every three months to be checked out. I’m having a hard time with twice a year.

I hope the cells removed from me on the 28th are just abnormal.

I’ve been trying to think of what we’ve been up to. Not much outta the norm really.
We had Lilah’s preschool class on Thursday and both girls have runny noses today, though Eden’s been dealing with it since Tuesday off and on.

Wednesday we had a North and South marathon with the Jewitt’s. Beth’s not one to sit still, let alone sit still for 4 hours, but she did a good job and thoroughly enjoyed the movie. She wanted to watch it again later that night.

Today I went to Target by myself. I desperately want to get Lilah into a booster seat. I don’t have any good reasons but I do have a few mediocre ones.

First, the car seat we have is a pain to adjust straps, you have to unlatch it from the car and do it from the back, a total pain when they stop wearing coats and begin swimming in the extra space at Springtime.
Second, we got it from my parents so it’s had some good wear and tear on it and the straps are always weird.
Third, I’d like to have a seat for Jon’s car so I can always drive mine. (The one with both girls gets the Toyota in case of an emergency since the Subaru has only one car seat.)
Lastly, it’s easier to take a booster seat out to let friends or family take Lilah than to unlatch a car seat.

I didn’t buy one because Lilah’s in an awkward stage of growth and even though she’s large enough for a booster with a back I think laws want her to be 40 pounds and that she is not.

So instead of spending lots of money on a booster I spent money on clothes for the girls and sunglasses.

I love and hate buying clothes. I just love to buy them but I hate how much it costs to buy a new wardrobe each season.

Katy and Lilah are close enough in sizes that I can’t borrow clothes as easily so I’m stuck buying Lilah a new wardrobe as she gets bigger and then Adrienne and Eden are also close enough in size that I can’t borrow for her and I buy to supplement what Lilah had.

Lilah really wore out a lot of her 3T’s so I bought Eden one new outfit so she has something that’s new for her and not too worn. I bought Lilah pajama’s and one outfit then I bought the sunglasses for an Easter gift. We’re planning on being outdoors more this summer so I figure sunglasses would be fun. By we I mean Jon wants to buy a family pass to the Spring preserve and take the girls there often, and he wants to do some camping and hiking this summer at the Grand Canyon.

I of course hate the sun, getting sweaty, and anything that includes dirt. 🙂

I am enjoying the warm weather. I ventured to try on a pair of shorts and since I’ve gained a few pounds they are a little tight. (Thankfully they’re made from a stretchy material.) I’m thinking of losing weight but we still have half of a Costco sized box of Oreo’s and today I just bought 3 boxes of Girl Scout cookies. ( I admit I heard someone on another blog talk about Girl Scout cookies and I went to the store today specifically to buy some, plus cereal since we’re almost out, but that was just a good excuse to go so I could buy Girl Scout cookies. I bought Peanut Butter Patties, Caramel deLights, and Lemonades which are delicious if you like lemon flavored sweets. I think they’re my favorite cookie excluding ones that have chocolate, peanut butter, or caramel in them. )

So I’m thinking I need to exercise a little (I say a little because I don’t exercise at all.), eat less and drink more water. I bought a scale today and I’m not as heavy as I feel, but I do want to fit into my summer clothes and look nice as the weather warms.

First I think I’ll grab a Peanut Butter Pattie.