Is It Naptime Yet

A week ago we borrowed Toy Story 2 from my friend Anna. Lilah subsequently watched it nearly everyday. There’s a scene where the girl doll, Jane I think, recounts her experience of being with her owner. It’s done to the song “When Somebody Loved me” sung my Sarah McLachlan.
Whenever this scene came on I always sat and listened to the music. I thought how sad it was to love someone so much and to have them change, change to where they no longer needed you.
Well lets go to today. Lilah was sitting on the computer chair. She does this in a straddling the horse way. I can’t describe it easily. Anyways Lilah was holding her happy meal toy car from Cars the movie, the Blue character. Again even though I’ve watched it a dozen times the names slips from my memory. She sat turning in the chair and holding the car in her hands singing ‘When somebody loved me. Everything seemed beautiful.’ It made me want to find the lyrics and music online. I found them and youtube doesn’t have an actual video of the movie or even just Sarah McLachlan singing it, but they do have it to the theme of Anastia, which Jon found toady. Yestery I could only find it to a Star Wars theme. Well, as we sat watching the video, Lilah on my lap and Eden at my feet, I thought of it in terms of a mother daughter relationship. Mothers stay the same, even though we know they do change, yet daughters change so much through the years. Some stay close to their mothers others move on. It made me sad to think of the girls not needing me anymore someday. Though I can’t stand it some days how much they do need me, I’m grateful in the end for all the thank yous and smiles I get when I help them.
I suggest you just listen to the music or read the lyrics as the music plays. Don’t watch the video just yet.
Have you had a relationship where someone changed only to leave you behind, or are you afraid of this happening?
My husband says it sounds as though it was suppose to be sung by a man about a woman. Like I said before it makes me think of a mother daughter relationship in some cases.

Scroll down for the video.

When She Loved Me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour spent together
lives within my heart

and when she was sad
i was there to dry her tears
and when was happy
So was i
When she loved me

Through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and i together
like it was meant to be

and when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
and i knew that she loved me

so the years went by
i stayed the same
but she began to drift away
i was left alone
still i waited for the day
when she’d say “i will always love you”

Lonely and forgotten
never thought she’d look my way
she smiled at me and held me just like she use to do
like she loved me
when she loved me

when somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour spent together
lives within my heart
when she loved me.

Well I had planned on making the girls hooded towels for Easter but my mom wasn’t able to embroider their names on them and I was too tired to make them. 🙁
Instead I got them each a bag of goldfish colorful crackers one mini cadbury egg , some robin eggs and green pear applesauce. (Lilah didn’t like the applesauce. I actually think it’s too sweet for her taste.)

Church was early for us so we had breakfast and got dress to go. Lilah wanted to just stay home to eat candy and hunt for eggs but I said she had to go to church or there would be no more Easter. (She kept asking to stay home so that’s when I gave her the ultimatum.) She went to church but apparently was noticeably grumpy to a primary counselor and her teacher during singing and sharing time. I’m sure waking up at 5:30 am didn’t help either. (Our power went out about 4 times on Sunday. Lilah woke up because the door wasn’t lite by the hall night light, or rather she started crying for that reason.)

They girls got tons of stuff at church, really Eden got tons of stuff at church, play dough, M&M’s, a goody bag. It was more than we had given her! Jon got a picture of the girls and all their loot.

The girls and their loot. This is also the only picture I have of them together, so I had to post it.

Sleepy Eden

Eden also woke up early that morning. As you see she feel asleep in her high chair at lunch. Jon had seen the signs of sleepiness and warned that we’d have to hold off on the egg hunt until after Eden’s nap since she was so tired. I didn’t believe that she was that tired until I saw her eyelids close and her head bob. Lilah was too psyched for the egg hunt so we decided we’d do two that day. She got hers that afternoon and Eden got hers after we got home from my parents.

Lilah’s egg hunt

Her reapings

We all took afternoon naps and then headed to my parents for dinner. It was delicious and the kids couldn’t wait until they went egg hunting.

Howie, Kaitlynn, Eden and Lilah

Eden finds egg!

Lilah goes right by the egg!

Howie was a real trooper and aloud Eden to get some eggs that he spotted at the same time as she. Poor kid, they’d both see it and he was obviously faster than Eden but we’d always ask him to let her get the eggs.(She got 5 and he got 8. ) He’s a great cousin.

Their was tons of candy in each egg. I mean this is a picture of what we got in the one basket my mom gave us and then the 15 eggs the girls found.

Jon wants the candy to be gone within a week, either we eat it or it gets tossed, though I’m sure I can’t do that I love chocolate too much and I’m trying to be good, so I want it to last, we just don’t like the asking of candy each morning by the girls.
Anyways between the candy filled eggs and the best Easter basket ever we’re going to have a lot of candy to eat or give away. Anyone want candy?

Oh here is a picture from Eden’s egg hunt that night.

It actually worked out well to do two. This way she could just look and find rather than us hurriedly point so she could have a chance against her sister. Lilah wanted to help find eggs but we kept her on the couch and Eden laughed with delight each time she spotted an egg on her own. Lilah did help me hide them for Eden. She wants to do more egg hunts, but I can only take so many and three’s enough for me.

Happy Easter Everyone!

My sister moved this past weekend so Thursday I went over to her house to help watch her kids. Howard was suppose to be cleaning the other place while I was there but the night before he got a call from someone he does freelance work for and he went out instead that morning.
I hung out at her house from 8:30 till 1:30. While there I didn’t pack anything, mostly because I didn’t know what to pack but I did vacuum and clean the kitchen table and high chair. I can’t stand crumbs and they had tripled since we had muffins for breakfast.
I left at 1:30 to head over to my friend Anna’s house. I had a doctor’s appointment and had previously  arranged for her to watch the girls that day. She had tons of fun and took them to a near by park while I was gone. She took a gazillion pictures, in which I hope I get a copy of the good ones. 😉 I didn’t know exactly who would be watching my kids that night so we hung out at Anna’s house until we had to leave. Since we started Toy Story 2 while we were there Anna let us borrow it. (The girls have watched it once a day since we’ve had it.) I left Anna’s a 4 and went to my mom’s.  We stayed there until I had to get Jon from downtown Henderson, he had a conference this day. We came back to my parents and hung out until we had to go to dinner. For the conference they were having dinner at the Fiesta buffet and he was aloud to bring a guest, of course he had to pay for the guest, but it was soo much fun talking and meeting his coworkers. Since he changed his job in July he works with a new bunch of people, along with the old ones, but it was nice to met the ones I didn’t know since this was for the new job. We had a fabulous time at the buffet and stayed until 9 talking with his boss, boss’s wife and another coworker.

Friday was a little less busy driving wise.  I had volunteered to work in the temple cafeteria for that afternoon so I drove Jon to Community College in Henderson that morning. Even though that campus is twice as far it took ten minutes less than is does for us to go to UNLV, only because it’s completely on the highway to get there. The girls and I had a good morning at home and I dropped them off at the Lee’s house while I volunteered at the temple. They’re purposely understaffed so they could stay open and they need a lot of volunteers. It was me and another worker for the first part and then another volunteer who comes regularly for the majority of the time. (Really she’s the wife to the temple presidency counselor who oversees the cafeteria.) I was busy for the first three hours there. Running and serving and then trying to keep atop of the dishes. My feet became so sore because I was only wearing regular slippers on the hard tile floors there. It was crazy. Luckily we had a relaxing night at the house, though neither Jon or I were up to playing with the girls. He had a headache and I had/have a sinus infection. The girls were a bit neglected Friday night.

Saturday we dyed Easter eggs at my parents. Jon helped my sister Kristi moved and Carolyn came over to my parents to help dye eggs. It was crazy. We had three different kits because the first kits my mom bought was strange. You put the eggs in a bag and then put drops of the dye on it. We sent her to the store and she came back with a normal kit and one where you had glitter. It used dye in a cup but there was oil in it to make spots or swirl type patterns on the eggs. Again very weird. I like the good ole Pals egg dye with regular vinegar and water. I find that the eggs dye nicely and they don’t get a sticky feel to them later. It was chaos dying eggs. Lilah spilled dye a couple of times and I dropped about four eggs. The chaos was too much and so I took no pictures. I was busy doing damage control and being controlling
I’m glad we dye eggs only once a year.

After being outside on Thursday I got killer allergies. I’m still suffering, which is normal, but Friday was a blur.

Friday started early. I awoke at 6:30 am to get showered and ready to take Jon to work. A friend from high school was getting married and I wanted to attend the sealing.
We took Jon to work and then had breakfast once at home. I got the girls dressed and put on my Sunday best then drove and dropped the girls off at Sam’s house.
I got to the temple just after 9:30 for the 10 am sealing. It was a beautiful sealing. Hearing the promises that I may no longer have hope for saddened me but it made me happy to know that if I’m faithful everything will work out. I find that I’m more cynical when I hear certain promises, I have more of a ‘yeah right’ approach to everything than optimistic and hopeful, though I am usually able to overcome the negative thoughts.
Anyways.
I went to my house to change before I got the girls. The plan was to go straight to my parents house but instead we decided to stay and have a picnic with Britta and Sam. Sam made sandwiches while I went home and grabbed juice boxes and some apples to share with them. Then we met at the park and ate and played for about an hour and a half. I then went back home to get the boxes I forgot for my sister before I headed off to Henderson to met my mom at JoAnn’s. She got there late. 1:50. I left my girls with her and went a hop skip and a jump to our jewelers to drop off my engagement ring. (One of the prongs had been knocked and moved.) I then returned to JoAnn’s at 2:10, or 10 minutes into my mom’s shift. Luckily she mostly just sits there at the viking center part of the store and the other woman she works with/for thought my kids were cute.
I then shopped for a few things and packed up everyone to go. I was so tired at this point. I kept calling Jon to see if I could pick him up early, at 3:30 instead of 5 On account that his wife was exhausted and didn’t want to pick him up later or drive anymore. He was in some training so he didn’t call me until later.

I was close to home, which took my about 30 minutes longer than normal thanks to traffic, and my friend Anna called. She asked me how everything went that morning and I could honestly not remember. I was so tired and allergies were bothering me so much that I forgot all about the sealing. I regained my memory and Jon called on the other line. I changed over to talk to him and even though I was only five minutes from my house I decided to drive and get Jon early rather than go home take the girls out for a 40 minute nap to get them back in the car to get Jon at 5. I wanted to just get him and be done with the car for a couple of hours.
Thankfully he agreed to get off early for me. We picked him up at 4 and drove to Baja Fresh for some dinner. (I’ve been craving Baja.) We got home around 5 because of traffic and ate. I saw an old friend of Jon’s at the sealing and she insisted that I bring him to the reception. ( I was thinking of going alone, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with silly girls.) So after dinner we all went to the reception. Luckily we did see the friend and had a pretty good time except the fact the Eden swallowed a glass stone.
It was a horribly long day. I spent about 4 hours in the car and ended at the exact place I started!

My allergies are still bothering me, though I’m mostly over them. I’ve tried to enjoy a wonderful General Conference weekend, but I found that I wished Jon would take the girls away or that I could lock them in their room so I could pay attention to the speakers.
I’ve been stressed and Lilah seems to push all my buttons all the time lately.
Luckily I did get a little out of today’s sessions.
I’ve also started making our bedroom drapes, well yesterday I started. I hope to have them done by the end of the week. Yay!

I think Jon and I are real parents now. We’ve both been neglectful in different ways the last week or so and finally we’ve had to go through our child’s poop and check for an object she swallowed. I think that is one test of true parenthood, stool checking.

Friday we attended a wedding reception for a friend I went to school with. They had vases filled with decorative glass rocks and flowers. Eden was being very difficult. They only thing she wanted to do was lay in the middle of the floor. We’d pick her up persuade her to eat and then down she would wriggle out of our arms to lay on her belly wherever she landed. Late in the night I got a glass stone from a vase for her to look at. She tried to eat it a couple of times and then I persuaded her to just hold it. We put it on the table and later Jon got her. I guess he also let her play with the stone only he didn’t realize she liked putting it into her mouth. Well at one point she started pointing to her mouth and Jon asked to look in it and to spit whatever it was out. Nothing. He then realized he had been letting her hold the stone. He asked where the stone went and Eden just pointed to her mouth. We asked several people there what we should do. One was a vet and another was an aspiring doctor. OK he was my friends younger brother and he is going to be a doctor, just after he gets his bachelors and then goes to medical school. Anyways. We came to the conclusion it would be alright. After all the stone had no rough edges, though it was about the size of a dime.
On the way home we listened intently to Eden’s breathing making sure she didn’t quietly stop breathing and us never notice. She started coughing and choking a little bit on the way home but after a drink of water she was fine. Our hearts worried. We hoped the stone was not lodged anywhere problematic. We got home and put her into bed. We both worried about her sleeping laying down. What if the stone got caught or changed position and choked her?
We looked up some websites and Jon called a nurses line. Her surety that Eden would be OK helped put us somewhat at ease. After all it was a round object with no jagged edges, she had swallowed it with ease, though it was on the big size for a little girl, but the nurse said it would probably just pass.
Jon was very nervous and slept in the girls room Friday night.
Eden’s been fine and today I was the lucky one to find the stone in one of her stool diapers. Yes I got it out and washed it so we could keep it. After all it was just a little poop, and I’ve gotten that on myself before and I’ve never thrown out body parts.
When Lilah showed the stone to Eden today and she called it ice, so she thought it was suppose to be eaten. 🙂

It has been a hard week for Eden. She’s a little more of a handful than Lilah was at this age, or we were more cautious. In the last week she’s had peanut butter and chocolate. She had a reaction to the chocolate, but luckily it was just small, mostly extra rosy cheeks, and she had no reaction to the peanut butter. She’s also been locked out front on our porch one night. We were just grateful she wandered back to the front door to cry and not onto the sidewalk or street. Now she swallowed a stone. Kids keep you on your toes and really our kids are pretty mild compared to others. I hate to think all the things that wild kids would do under our supervision.

For our Mommy group/child’s class today we decided to go The Secret Gardens at The Mirage. Luckily all the kids are under the age of four so it was just $15 for each mom to get in. The girls loved it and loved the dolphins. Lilah didn’t care too much about the lions and leopards. Here’s our adventure.

Right after we got there the trainers came out and we were able to see the dolphins play and jump a little.

We then went to the below water observation and watched the dolphins.

Then back to the surface to watch the other dolphins.

I love these behind shots

We then saw the lions and lionesses. Along with alpacas.

Lilah, Eden, Katia, Isabell and alpacas in the background.

The white tigers.

Isabell and Eden were twins with their onsies.

Lilah, Eden, Britta. (Sam’s daughter whom I watch each week before dance.)

I just love the individual look of each girl.

The Leopards were our last stop before we went and watched the dolphins some more.

It was a great day, though windy and a little cold because of the wind. Luckily the wind did eventually die down and we enjoyed beautiful weather.

Now I love my mom, but this post is just an observation of things she does and the fact is I do some of them already to a degree.

I’m the youngest of six kids. At one point we even had a dog. When my mom would get mad at us she would spout off all six names and some times even the dog’s name. They wouldn’t be in any specific order. In fact had they been in order she would have been able to get to the older kids names faster, but for whatever reason she would still go through half to all our names every time. We’d say something smart and then it would be Scott, Carolyn, Glenn, Kristi, Andrea, Peggy..LACEY. We always teased her about it afterwards, in which she’d remember our name and get it the first time at that point, but even then not always if it was more that one of us teasing her about it.
I see myself doing the same thing with my two kids, only I don’t call off both names. I get it wrong and then I say, “whatever child you are…..” My husband doesn’t like this approach. He says I know which child I’m talking to and I should call her by name, even if I get it wrong the first time and am frustrated. Maybe when I get mad at him and can’t decide whether to call him, Daddy, Jon or Jonathan, I should call him “whatever husband you are.” That’ll get my neighbors thinking, especially if they know we’re Mormon.

Now that I’m an adult my mom and I have different conversations. I always find it funny talking to my mom about what she taught us kids. I know she taught us a lot, but I think she forgets that there is a vast age difference between us kids, so what she taught one teenager may not have sunk into her 5 or 7 year old. She tells me about things that she taught us kids when we were young, or teenagers. Like she says she talked to us about sex. So I’m 6 years younger than my eldest sister. If she talked to Andrea about sex when she was 11 or 12, I was 5 or 6. I don’t really remember those conversations. Or my mom tells me how she tried to teach an older child how to do something, like sewing. They didn’t want to learn how to sew and the next child didn’t want to learn and the next child didn’t want to learn so by the time she got to me she was tired of trying to teach, so I never learned anything. She figured all the other ones were so stubborn so why try with the last one or two.

I wonder if I’ll be that way with my kids. In some ways I see it already. With Lilah we were very careful to make sure she always used her spoon, with Eden not so much. We’re happy if she just tries to use it. So I get some mornings where applesauce has been eaten by both hands instead of a spoon and is all over the high chair. Or teaching Lilah to clean up. She was the only one who made the mess so we always made sure she cleaned at least half when she was Eden’s age, or 20 months. Now I’m just happy to get Eden to pick up one or two thing some nights. I find myself cleaning after them more because it’s easier then getting them to clean it up themselves.
The weariness of teaching begins.

We’ve been having lots of fun at the Blake house.
I love watching my girls grow up and I can’t believe how fast they grow.
Things Eden’s doing: Well she copies Lilah in all that she does and she loves her sister. Morning noon and night it’s always Yiyah, Yiyah? If Eden wakes up before Lilah she always points to her sister and says her name. (She says Yiyah much more than she says dada or mama.) I also have to shut the door to their room if Lilah is still sleeping because I’ve found Eden sitting on Lilah’s bed next to her a many a time while her sister sleeps.
Eden’s following her parents example too. We don’t teach them much but we let them know that you smash boxes before you put them in the trash. Luckily this box was empty.

Lilah is getting more independent. We let her rub sunscreen on her and she got it all in one spot. She tried though.

It was a beautiful Saturday on March 10th so Jon suggested running in the sprinkler. I wasn’t too happy about it. I wanted to relax and not worry about them getting muddy or grassy. Oh well. It was fun for them.

I was at target the other night and I saw these shirts that said “everybody loves a blue eyed girl” They also have it for brown eyes, but no green! (not that I could wear a toddler size 6.)

I got one for each girl and they wore them yesterday to their classes at the church.
I put three pigtails on each girl. I loved doing this to Lilah when she was Eden’s age. Now that the mullet is cut I can do it!

I love this one because Lilah is posing a smile.

So much cuter in person.

(I want to tell why Lilah’s arm is in such a strange position. Eden kept walking towards me because she likes to look at the camera so Lilah was putting her arm in front of her so she would stay put. So when I asked Lilah to move it her arm went into this strange position. I just think it’s funny how she mothers her little sister. )

We also had a picnic after we picked Jon up at work yesterday. Well, we had it at his work since UNLV has such beautiful grassy areas.
We then went to a park afterwards that is on our way home. I wish I had brought the camera. Eden was hilarious! It was the first time she’d been on a swing and she had a ball. She had a concerned look on her face, yet she was smiling. She kept saying “whoa, whoa”, it was adorable.
I know I’m a terrible mom. Neither of my girls rode swings until they were at least 18 months or so. Not because I didn’t want them to but because we don’t go to parks often.
It was tons of fun and we may do the same thing next week when we pick up Jon.

If you’ve read my blog in past months or the past year, you know that I sometimes have a hard time with Lilah. We just don’t always get along and I get annoyed, frustrated and mostly overbearing towards her.
Well I’ve been working on it but there are still times that really frustrate me.
Jon doesn’t see her crying as her trying to manipulate and get her own way, he’s able to brush it off and ignore it.
I don’t do so well. I like to stop the manipulative crying and it bothers me to let her cry it out when it is her just trying to get her way, even though we’ve explained things to her.
Luckily we’ve had fewer moments where this has happened. For the most part Lilah and I’ve gotten along well enough or I’ve been able to keep her form crying when she just wants her way so we avoid the frustrating scene. I think I’m being more clear in the rules and I think she’s understanding that I demand more respect from her and I’m trying to give her more.

We went through a period where she would always say no or back talk a little. It didn’t bother me that much but then I decided it was enough because it usually lead to a fight of some sort between us or a battle of wills. So I started putting her in timeout the first time she was rude to me rather then the third of fourth time or ignoring it. It was tough and I’m still not following through incredibly but after two days of going into timeout several times she got the just and we’re doing much better. With trying to get Lilah to show respect for me and not be rude I’m also trying to show her more respect. I try to compromise and give her plenty of warning for different things or changing of task, like turning off a movie in the middle to eat lunch or take a nap.

Second change: I’m being more firm on having Lilah think about what she says and using her first response.  (She use to flip flop and the warning of timeout would get her to do what she needed to do. I sometimes would not put her in timeout when she changed her mind, even after I said it was time for time out. Though it didn’t happen often.)
It’s just hard. I’m trying to teach her to respect her choices and understand them. I’m also trying to get her to understand me and that I respect her as long as she follows the rules and listens.
With crying I don’t mind if it for a valid reason like falling down, but I’m not good at letting her cry it out like Jon does. Like she cries if she doesn’t get enough kisses before bed time. That bothers me. We let her cry it out yesterday at nap time because of it. I actually went in and got Eden out of the room so she wouldn’t have to listen to it.
I give her the option that if she’s going to cry she can go to her room or not cry and stay out. Jon doesn’t like this option because it banishes her, but it’s the only way I can deal with her if she’s crying to get her way.

Eden’s crying more now for every disappointment or time I say no. She also says no a lot. I see my new battle arises with her.
It’s hard.

Jon even sees that Lilah and my relationship is a little better.My relationship is better with Lilah. There are still times, but it’s not everyday that I get frustrated with her. I also try to let it go if I get frustrated, which can be hard for me. I feel better about it and I feel that it is working more often than not. I still have control issues, but hey you can’t be perfect all at once.

I’m happy that we’re working together and that it is working more often. I’m trying to give her more independence, like helping with lunch and making decisions about how we should spend our time.  I am giving her a lot more attention, which is hard and easy at  the same time. Since I get along with her more I have more fun playing with her and I think she with me.
I’m starting to like my daughter more now, not just love her because I have too, which makes me happier too.
I hope we can continue to get better at our relationship. I hope I can apply the things I’ve learned with Lilah to Eden.

Last night Lilah woke up 4 times between the hours of 3:30 am and 5:30…well she just stayed awake after 5:30 am.
The first time it was crying, she wanted the radio on.
The second time it was her crawling into bed with us. Jon put her back into hers after a little bit of cuddling. Usually it’s because we need to wake up a bit more before we have the energy to put her back.
5:00 or so it was the hall light that woke me up. I though she was going potty, but she just went to the couch because she couldn’t sleep.
Then 5:30 it was the radio was off again. She then just got up when Jon did at 6 am.

It’s driving me nuts!
Eden starts crying at least once each night. Sometimes it’s night terror’s, I think, and she’s still asleep when she’s crying. Lately she’s actually been awake when I go in there to cuddle her.
Then Lilah has been regularly crawling into bed with us. This drives me nuts. I just let Jon take her back when he’s ready, but I think I’m gonna have to start taking her back immediately because after a few nights she usually stops trying to come in if she knows she’s just going straight back. (This cycle takes place around every two months or so.)
Then the whole waking up and not being able to sleep or needing the music on is driving me nuts! (I think I’ve used that phrase 3 times now) We got the radio as a comfort for nighttime and sickness. I didn’t get it so the cd would play continually all night long!
I’m tempted to take it away and just have them go to sleep without it. She did fine for the first 3 2/3 years of her life she can go without it now.
I just see these as excuses to get attention. Maybe I’m not spending enough time with her in the day or giving her the attention she needs, but what bothers me is I feel that I give her plenty of attention and I spend all day with them.
I just needs it to stop. I’m not getting good sleep so I then sleep while she watches Aurthur in the morning.
I’m tempted to put the gate up at nighttime so she can’t get out but we’d still be able to have the door open to hear Eden if she needs comfort. No music and a gate so she just has to tough it out. The nighttime neediness just gets to me. It’s hard to have patience when you’re sleep deprived and it’s 3:30 am.
I want uninterrupted sleep for a week straight. Is that too hard to ask?

Really I don’t think it is. It’s only been this last month that we’ve had all these problems, before it was occasionally, now it’s a regular occurrence to be awakened by one of the girls. I don’t have a newborn, why do I feel like I do?