A couple weeks ago my friend Anna took Lilah and Eden to the park in which she took tons of pictures. Of course I love pictures of my girls so I’m posting some.
I love the colors in the photos and I think I might get some printed so I can hang them in their room.
She took them with a great digital camera so they came out with great quality.
Thanks Anna.
My niece just posted her 100th blog, which had the low down on 100 things about her.
I didn’t ever do that and consequently I am on my 237th post, but I don’t think anyone wants to read 237 things about me so I’ll do just the 100.
1. I am the youngest of 6 kids.
2. I don’t like the spelling of my middle name. Lilah has my middle name and it’s spelled the way I like it.
3. My last true best friend was in the 7th grade. We were best friends for 4 years. Now I have my husband.
4. I shared a room until I was 15 or so.
5. I got my first credit card when I was 21 or so. Before I was just added to my husband’s accounts.
6. I worked from the time I was just over 16 till 4 weeks before my 20th birthday.
7. I worked three jobs in one day once.
8. I had a teen pregnancy with Lilah. ๐ I was 19
9. I was the youngest to get my drivers license in my family, at the age of 16 1/2.
10. I paid half of the driving school. My parents paid the other half because I was the only one required to take it because of a change in law.
11. I learned to ride a bike when I was 7. I was taught by my friend Theresa.
12. I learned to swim in the third grade at nearly 10 years old and was taught by my best friend Tiffany.
13. I love to bake. I just hate to clean up afterwards. My favorite desert is brownies alamode
14. Deep down I love math and I wish I was naturally better at it.
15. On an 8th grade career test it said I should do psychology and that’s what I majored in for my degree.
16. I played the clarinet for 3 years in middle school. I might have played in high school of it weren’t for three reasons: 1. my sister sat on it and broke it half way through my 8th grade year. We never told my dad but instead glued it back together. In which it would break periodically throughout the rest of that year. 2. I didn’t want to be in marching bad, which was required for one year in order to be in band. 3. All the Mormon kids were in Choir.
17. I hated performing in front of people, but I’m getting good at speaking in front of others. I always wanted to be a performer.
18. My dad wasn’t there for my birth, but was stuck trying to get back home from a flight.
19. I love being pregnant.
20. I love the feel of giving birth.
21. I would mind being a segregant mother, so I could experience pregnancy and giving birth but without having the baby at the end.:)
22. I dislike cleaning.
23. I’m inherently unorganized.
24. I bite my nails.
25. I love sitting in front if the mirror after my shower to pluck my eyebrows and pop my blemishes.
26. I pick too much at my blemishes and subsequently get scars.
27. I always wanted to be like my sister Andrea.
28. I always want to be as organized as my sister Carolyn.
29. I love the color lavender.
30. I have the same eyes as my sister Andrea. green with a brown middle.
31. My top teeth are naturally straight.
32. I clench my jaw when I’m mad.
33. Nair air removal doesn’t work on my coarse leg hairs. (Thanks mom.)
34. I wish I was a great singer like my friend Alana.
35. I love ribs smothered in BBQ sauce.
36. I love my father’s dutch over cooking. Especially his beans, cobbler and chicken.
37. I’ve cooked since I was about 8.
38. I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 21.
39. I’ve burned myself with boiling liquids twice. The first time I missed my brother Scott’s graduation day (11 years old or so). The second time Lilah was 10 months old and I couldn’t nurse her because of the medicine (20 years old).
40. I’m 5’4
41. I think I have cute feet. size 6 1/2
42. I’ve never smoked or done drugs.
43. I want to travel Europe someday.
44. I want to be in a great choir again someday.
45. I’ve never wanted to be a teacher but I’m planning on homeschooling my kids.
46. I blamed things on my siblings when I was little.
47. My favorite place to eat is Outback.
48. I didn’t pass kindergarten because I couldn’t read.
49. My mom taught me to read so I could go onto the first grade.
50. I was 5 the first time I snuck out. I went to my friend’s house to run in the sprinklers.
51. I have a great memory for remembering how to get somewhere but I don’t know which way is north.
52. I have a great memory for strange things, like the last place I put something, but I can’t remember half of what I learned in college.
53. I went to college because it was expected of me.
54. I graduated because I wanted too.
55. I love sleep.
56. I hate getting dirty.
57. I want to go to Hawaii
58. I want to get laser eye surgery.
59. I want to get laser hair removal on my legs.
60. I like not working.
61. I want a Subaru Tribeca.
62. I’ve never swum in the ocean, I’ve only touched it. I only touched it because Jon said I had to since I was there for the first time at the age of 19 and pregnant with Lilah.รย (it was a cold day so we couldn’t swim even if we wanted to.)
63. I don’t like being in natural bodies of water. My exception would be crystal clear water.
64. I type looking at the keyboard.
65. I’m a procrastinator.
67. I hate crumbs on the floor.
68. I love to sew clothes for my girls.
69. I hate sewing clothes for myself, they never fit right.
70. I love the scent of rain.
71. I love seeing the lights of Las Vegas when returning home from a trip in Utah.
72. I want to take my girls to Sea World.
73. I love and hate it when Lilah asks questions about everything.
74. I hog the bed.
75. I hate it when someone breaths on my face.
78. I’ve lived in Las Vegas my whole life, except for one year in Henderson.
79. Both my daughters were born in Henderson.
80. I love driving on road trips.
81. I was 16 the first time I flew on a plane.
82. I’ve bungee jumped once.
83. I love intelligent men.
84. I want to learn how to decorate wedding cakes.
85. I’m scared of being in dark bathrooms
86. I believe in ghosts, I just hope I don’t ever encounter one.
87. I’ve never been to a gym to work out.
88. I love daisies.
89. I love teaching Relief Society but dislike teaching gospel doctrine
90. I try to be the friend that I would want, but I sometimes fail.
91. I have beautiful dark hair and fair/ pale skin, and I love it.
92. I can’t do the Spock sign with my fingers.
93. I can roll my tongue
94. I’m very gullible to a point.
95. I love to stay up late.
96. I love real fires in real fireplaces, but ours is covered by our desk.
97. I’m allergic to penicillin.
98. I love period films like Pride and Prejudice and Daniel Deronda
99. I do things the hard way because I don’t like to ask for help, I figure it out and do it. This drives my hubby crazy.
100. I want to learn how to play the piano someday. Though I wish it was like the matrix and you just download the information straight to your brain. ๐
We bought bunk beds this weekend. Not because we really needed them at this time, though Lilah was getting big for her toddler bed that was just a crib converted to a bed, but they were the right price and we’ll need them eventually.
When we were at dinner a couple Thursday’s ago Jon’s boss’s wife mentioned how they were looking for bunk beds and how sad she was that she could only find them for like a thousand dollars, but her friend mentioned Big Lots and how they had bunk beds for $200. They had the bunk bed with a futon bottom, which is what I originally wanted, but they also had this regular bunk bed that converts to two twin beds. The futon bed was dark wood with black metal so I decided against it and we got these. Of course I decided on these after hitting an RC Willey clearance, which had a bunk bed futon for $400 and the Air Force Base which had an ugly wood bunk bed, a primary colors bunk bed and a black metal futon bunk bed. I like the beds we got. They’re well made for being cheap, but they still have some cheapness to them. The bad thing with using someone else’s truck who lives on the other side of town, AKA my dad, is you hate to return things if they have a defect. These just has some wood separated on a leg. Nothing to big that will affect the safety, but not pretty. One day we’ll fill it in with something and then paint them. The beds have other things wrong but, but we’re overall happy with them and we did only pay $200 for the beds them self. Of course we had to also buy a mattress, only one so far, and we’ll need to get a solid board to go under the bed, but for now it works.
I have the room arranged so we actually have about the same space that we had with the two cribs. I like it. Don’t mind the mess in the photos. The mattress is still airing out and I just piled everything on Lilah’s bed so it wasn’t on the floor.
Luckily we have our tent set up out back so Lilah and Jon slept outside last night. I had the fan on to circulate air and the door opened while Eden slept because of the strong scent to the new furniture. I need to go light a candle in there so by nap time it smells nice.
We spent a lot of money this weekend.
We bought the beds, which totaled $323, we visited Costco, which is always over $100, and I bought clothes for the girls. Mervyn’s was having a sale so I was getting knit pants for $2 a pair and overall saved a total of 49%. Some things we’re clearance other things were just on sale. It was great, though half the cloths are for now and half are for winter.:)
It was a crazy weekend. I think we’ve done our big spending for the next three months.
The new bed and a half, since we have only one mattress.
The small room.
My new changing space.
At first we had the beds parallel to one another, but that left so little space that we decided to put them perpendicular.
I also had the changing table against the wall but that left no where for the diaper pail. Putting it against the bed gave me more room.
I like the new arrangement and can’t wait to get ride of the other crib. It’s under Lilah’s bed so I can have so much more storage space once it’s gone.
Anyone want a crib?
My sister moved this past weekend so Thursday I went over to her house to help watch her kids. Howard was suppose to be cleaning the other place while I was there but the night before he got a call from someone he does freelance work for and he went out instead that morning.
I hung out at her house from 8:30 till 1:30. While there I didn’t pack anything, mostly because I didn’t know what to pack but I did vacuum and clean the kitchen table and high chair. I can’t stand crumbs and they had tripled since we had muffins for breakfast.
I left at 1:30 to head over to my friend Anna’s house. I had a doctor’s appointment and had previouslyรย arranged for her to watch the girls that day. She had tons of fun and took them to a near by park while I was gone. She took a gazillion pictures, in which I hope I get a copy of the good ones. ๐ I didn’t know exactly who would be watching my kids that night so we hung out at Anna’s house until we had to leave. Since we started Toy Story 2 while we were there Anna let us borrow it. (The girls have watched it once a day since we’ve had it.) I left Anna’s a 4 and went to my mom’s.รย We stayed there until I had to get Jon from downtown Henderson, he had a conference this day. We came back to my parents and hung out until we had to go to dinner. For the conference they were having dinner at the Fiesta buffet and he was aloud to bring a guest, of course he had to pay for the guest, but it was soo much fun talking and meeting his coworkers. Since he changed his job in July he works with a new bunch of people, along with the old ones, but it was nice to met the ones I didn’t know since this was for the new job. We had a fabulous time at the buffet and stayed until 9 talking with his boss, boss’s wife and another coworker.
Friday was a little less busy driving wise.รย I had volunteered to work in the temple cafeteria for that afternoon so I drove Jon to Community College in Henderson that morning. Even though that campus is twice as far it took ten minutes less than is does for us to go to UNLV, only because it’s completely on the highway to get there. The girls and I had a good morning at home and I dropped them off at the Lee’s house while I volunteered at the temple. They’re purposely understaffed so they could stay open and they need a lot of volunteers. It was me and another worker for the first part and then another volunteer who comes regularly for the majority of the time. (Really she’s the wife to the temple presidency counselor who oversees the cafeteria.) I was busy for the first three hours there. Running and serving and then trying to keep atop of the dishes. My feet became so sore because I was only wearing regular slippers on the hard tile floors there. It was crazy. Luckily we had a relaxing night at the house, though neither Jon or I were up to playing with the girls. He had a headache and I had/have a sinus infection. The girls were a bit neglected Friday night.
Saturday we dyed Easter eggs at my parents. Jon helped my sister Kristi moved and Carolyn came over to my parents to help dye eggs. It was crazy. We had three different kits because the first kits my mom bought was strange. You put the eggs in a bag and then put drops of the dye on it. We sent her to the store and she came back with a normal kit and one where you had glitter. It used dye in a cup but there was oil in it to make spots or swirl type patterns on the eggs. Again very weird. I like the good ole Pals egg dye with regular vinegar and water. I find that the eggs dye nicely and they don’t get a sticky feel to them later. It was chaos dying eggs. Lilah spilled dye a couple of times and I dropped about four eggs. The chaos was too much and so I took no pictures. I was busy doing damage control and being controlling
I’m glad we dye eggs only once a year.
This is my own experiment. Since I use my blog as my journal I want to write down memories that I have of my different family members. I also want you, or my readers, to participate. Maybe you could do a similar thing on your own blog, or if they’re stories or memories about me you could do a comment.
I guess I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic lately. I’ve actually had a story about one of my sisters on my mind, but I figure I’ll start with the head of my family and then progress down the line.
My dad.
We lived on Nellis Air Force Base for the first 8 years of my life. My father kept a wonderful front yard in which we won yard of the month several times while on base. They present you with a flag and I remember early mornings standing on our lawn as my father or brothers raised the American Flag on our flag pole. We had tons of rose bushes and when I entered school I loved picking which flowers I would bring to my teacher that day.
I spent a lot of time with my Father during my kindergarten year of school. I had afternoon kindergarten and on days that my father wasn’t working I would run errands with him in his jeep. I loved this jeep. It had no real doors on it and he would buckle me in tightly so as to make sure I didn’t fall out. I could never unbuckle or buckle myself because of the difficult and confusing seat belts. We would often get lunch at different burger places, my favorite being McDonald’s and Sonic. I enjoyed these times with my father because this is when he was the most even tempered and caring towards me.
My birthday is at the end of May. For my kindergarten year I desperately wanted to bring cupcakes to celebrate with my classmates. For some reason we weren’t able to make any, or my parents had already planned on buying some, so I remember being sad the night before my sixth birthday. I awoke early and my father told me to go look out in the car. On the front seat was a large rectangular pink box. I’m sure someone helped me bring it inside, but I remember my excitement overflowing as I looked inside the box. Inside the box were the most beautiful cupcakes I had ever seen. You see being the youngest of six we didn’t buy baked goods from the store, we always made them at home. I was soo proud of those cupcakes. They were made of white cake with mounds of white frosting that had been sprayed pink and had different colored confetti dots on them. My father was the one who bought them for me.
Other memories I have of him is seeing him return home from deer hunting. He would never let me watch as he carved up the deer, even though I always tried. He would let me watch has he sawed off the antlers from the dried skull. He also did a lot of wood work and made me a blue bed with a blue dresser. It had white ducks and red hearts on it.
We had a station wagon growing up and on road trips I always had to sit up front in between my parents. My dad often told me I was in charge of keeping him awake and holding his Dr. Pepper. He loved singing the nursery rhyme “Nobody likes me Everybody hates me I guess I’ll eat some worms. ” It was a game between us and I would always cover my ears and tell him to stop singing the gross song.
Once we began buying live Christmas trees I always went along with my dad. One year Andrea came or another year Carolyn and her friends came, but I was always the final decision maker. He always called me his Christmas tree expert.
As I got older I know I grew some what distant from my father. I was still daddy’s girl and my Aunt Robin always teased me about being spoiled by my dad.
I know expression of love doesn’t come as easily between us but I do love my dad and I like being his little girl.
My mom.
I know I spent a lot of time with my mom. In some ways I remember her being sick often. She’s always had problems with headaches. I also remember her being so patient with us when we didn’t have dinner on at a descent time because us kids were in charge of cooking.
I know my mom sacrificed a lot for us. She worked part time and often was exhausted.
She sewed a dress for me my freshmen year of high school for my choir banquet. I insisted it was formal a banquet because many of the older girls wore dresses they had worn to other formal dances that year, but others wore church dresses. My mom made my dream dress for the banquet. It was a dark purple empire wait satin dress with purple chiffon covering the skirt. I received many complements on it that night. She also sewed Halloween costumes for me and picked up any slack on my ironing chores.
Mom was always the one you went to first if you were in trouble and she never complained about our friends.
She’d take one of us kids to the commissary each week or every other week and often let us get something special. I inherited my sweet tooth from her.
I loved Saturday mornings. She often made a large breakfast. I loved the homemade coca she would make from hershey’s cocoa powder and the sticky buns. Neither were regular occurrences so when we had them it made it that more special and difficult to get seconds or thirds.
She’s an avid reader of church related topics and romance novels. I have memories of her sitting in the gray chair in the living room reading and snacking on brail mix. (I think that’s what it’s called.)
In the early mornings as a child I would often slip into bed next to my mom. Really I did this into my teen years. There was no where better to be than my parents bed. I remember lying next to her and having her drift back to sleep. She snored a little and I always tried to adjust her so she would stop. On sick days she would let me lay in her bed and she’d bring me orange juice or toast.
She’s also very affectionate. Not many of our friends got away without giving her a hug goodbye and she’ll even chase you down if you try to escape without one.
She’d wake us up by putting her cold hands on you during the winter time, or lay on you as she tickled you during the summer.
My eldest brother Glenn.
I don’t have many memories of Glenn. He moved away when I was just over eight. I do remember us kids gaining up on him a lot. We once locked him out side of the house and he punched a hole through the front window.
I do remember going on some walks with him. I remember thinking it was cool to hang out with my older brother.
My next brother Scott.
As a kid I liked to think that I was Scott’s favorite sister. Really I just liked thinking I was the favorite period. He and Andrea hung out a lot, but I was the favorite of the youngest sisters. ๐
We walked a many a time down the street to Smith’s to rent movies together. Often he would pick out things that didn’t interest me but as a little sister I’d watch anything with him. I did like many of the movies though, or at least they grew on me. When he worked as a stock boy he’d bring home different treats and share them with just me and maybe Andrea. Before he went into to the Navy we’d go to movies together and play at the arcade while we waited for our mom to pick us up. He would always pick on the other sisters but always was gentler with me.
I’m so happy that Scott is now active in the church thanks to his wonderful wife Fallon. I’m really just happy that he doesn’t smoke anymore, that is the grossest habit ever, though the eternal blessings are definitely a perk. ๐
I know he’ll make a great dad when they are blessed with a baby.
My eldest sister Andrea.
I loved playing with Andrea’s hair. She had such nice long hair that was never tangled like mine. I’m sure she enjoyed it, but I remember having her lay on the couch while I played with her hair as a young girl, only 6 or so.
I learned how to apply makeup by watching Andrea.
I was teased often by Andrea and another sibling. Things that live in my past is I’m a test tube baby, I’m 12, though I think that was our friend Scott, but he was Andrea’s friend. I was hogtied by Andrea and Carolyn when I was like 13.
Andrea always let me hang out with her and her friends. In high school it was Tina and in college it was Amber, Babara, Scott, Renee, Sariah…..I loved sitting in on her grownup conversations.
She’s always been the equalizer in the house. She’d break up Carolyn and Kristi’s fights and let each of us hang out in her tiny room when she let Kristi have the larger one.
Andrea’s always been very supportive of me and I remember talking to her as to which Jon I should chose to date and then marry. I shared her bed the night before I was married because mine was at the apartment. (Luckily it was a queen size bed.)
She married a great guy who gets along wonderfully with my husband and girls. Of course he gets along with everyone, like Andrea gets along with everyone. Of course I also like Brien because he thinks my girls are the cutest. In a way I hope they have a boy first so he can still think that.
Kristi.
Kristi was the crazy sister, or I should say boy crazy. For as long as I can remember she’s liked boys, well until she got married of course, then she liked Howard.
I remember having some late night talks with Kristi when we were older. As kids on base we shared a room. (her and Carolyn could never share a room because one of them would probably kill the other while they slept if they didn’t kill each while they were awake.)
My favorite memory of Kristi deals with Andrea and cordial cherries. One day in Kristi’s room Andrea asked if she could have a cordial cherry from the box that was next to her bed and Kristi said yes, go ahead. Andrea tried to take a bite but it was rock hard. Kristi then busted up laughing and said that the cherries were really old and she didn’t even realized she had any there until Andrea asked. Andrea got revenge by smashing the cordial cherry into Kristi’s mouth. By the time it was all done we each were laughing so hard we were crying. Man, it still makes me laugh today.
I also have memories of talking to Kristi about the many boys she dated. One was Nick Larkin, another Howard and another was a guy we were very happy she didn’t marry. Howard’s nick name was geek boy, and this other guys was wiener boy because we like him so much….not.
We now enjoy long talks on the phone about our kids and different frustrations.
Carolyn.
Carolyn and I shared a room once we moved to the Edison house, when I was 8 and she was 10.รย Since Carolyn was a big fifth grader and I a lonely peon in the third grade this is where we became more of typical sisters that didn’t get along. Carolyn was often very nice to me when her friends weren’t around and even at times when they were, but we also had our moments when we didn’t get a long. She was neat I was messy. She was creative I was jealous. She had lots of friends I had one good friend. We shared clothes once she entered high school and I was still in middle school. This helped because we didn’t have a lot of money for extensive wardrobes and this way we had more shirts to chose from. Because we pretty much just had jeans and t shirts. Only those who we were good friends saw that were wore many of the same clothes and they knew our situation and liked us so they were never too judgmental.
I tagged along as a little sister many times. Sometimes knowing I was annoying her, but I just longed to fit in with her and her friends.
My favorite memory of Carolyn is from girls camp one year, she was a fourth year and I a second year, or she was 15 and I was 13.
It was a terrible week to camp that year. It rained or hailed each day and was terribly muddy and unusually cold that July. One day I was hanging out under the tarp that covered our dining area. Their was a group of us and we were talking. I was cold because I only had a short sleeve shirt on but I was too lazy to go in the rain to my tent about 100 feet away. Carolyn noticed I was cold and gave me the sweater she was wearing. I was so touched because at that point in our lives we weren’t getting along well and it showed me that she did love me. I also remember her sharing her poncho later that week. She’s a very quiet person in some ways and loud in others. I enjoyed sharing our room because she was creative and decorated her walls. We had milk adds all over the place and her fish Sexy. She was/is great with hair and she did my hair for my first formal dance.
I love inheriting clothes from Carolyn now and I cherish the times that she opens up to me.
Well this is a very long post.
I hope each family member knows I love them and I cherish the relationship I have with them
I hated being the youngest and watching everyone leave. First it was Glenn then Scott, Kristi, Andrea and Carolyn. Sure I got more perks since I was the last child at home, but I was sad to become an only child for the different periods of my life. I miss my siblings who live far away and I hope, though I also wish to move far away from Vegas, that I can always be close to them whether over the phone or through our blogs. I love you family!
I think Jon and I are real parents now. We’ve both been neglectful in different ways the last week or so and finally we’ve had to go through our child’s poop and check for an object she swallowed. I think that is one test of true parenthood, stool checking.
Friday we attended a wedding reception for a friend I went to school with. They had vases filled with decorative glass rocks and flowers. Eden was being very difficult. They only thing she wanted to do was lay in the middle of the floor. We’d pick her up persuade her to eat and then down she would wriggle out of our arms to lay on her belly wherever she landed. Late in the night I got a glass stone from a vase for her to look at. She tried to eat it a couple of times and then I persuaded her to just hold it. We put it on the table and later Jon got her. I guess he also let her play with the stone only he didn’t realize she liked putting it into her mouth. Well at one point she started pointing to her mouth and Jon asked to look in it and to spit whatever it was out. Nothing. He then realized he had been letting her hold the stone. He asked where the stone went and Eden just pointed to her mouth. We asked several people there what we should do. One was a vet and another was an aspiring doctor. OK he was my friends younger brother and he is going to be a doctor, just after he gets his bachelors and then goes to medical school. Anyways. We came to the conclusion it would be alright. After all the stone had no rough edges, though it was about the size of a dime.
On the way home we listened intently to Eden’s breathing making sure she didn’t quietly stop breathing and us never notice. She started coughing and choking a little bit on the way home but after a drink of water she was fine. Our hearts worried. We hoped the stone was not lodged anywhere problematic. We got home and put her into bed. We both worried about her sleeping laying down. What if the stone got caught or changed position and choked her?
We looked up some websites and Jon called a nurses line. Her surety that Eden would be OK helped put us somewhat at ease. After all it was a round object with no jagged edges, she had swallowed it with ease, though it was on the big size for a little girl, but the nurse said it would probably just pass.
Jon was very nervous and slept in the girls room Friday night.
Eden’s been fine and today I was the lucky one to find the stone in one of her stool diapers. Yes I got it out and washed it so we could keep it. After all it was just a little poop, and I’ve gotten that on myself before and I’ve never thrown out body parts.
When Lilah showed the stone to Eden today and she called it ice, so she thought it was suppose to be eaten. ๐
It has been a hard week for Eden. She’s a little more of a handful than Lilah was at this age, or we were more cautious. In the last week she’s had peanut butter and chocolate. She had a reaction to the chocolate, but luckily it was just small, mostly extra rosy cheeks, and she had no reaction to the peanut butter. She’s also been locked out front on our porch one night. We were just grateful she wandered back to the front door to cry and not onto the sidewalk or street. Now she swallowed a stone. Kids keep you on your toes and really our kids are pretty mild compared to others. I hate to think all the things that wild kids would do under our supervision.
I’m more sore today than I have been from working out.
Yesterday I was a woman on a mission. I needed to do some heavy cleaning. Really I wanted to clean because I have this one table in my living room that is cluttered. I didn’t get to it but I got a lot done in my kitchen. ๐
I was getting a vase from a box in the hall closet that holds my rose petals and dried flowers that Jon’s gives me. Well the flowers are alive when I get them, I just dry them. I needed to put away my anniversary flowers and other ones I had hanging around from Andrea’s wedding, yes I realized it was a year ago, but I didn’t know where this vase was until recently. Anyways, I realized I had this vase and a flower decoration in one box in my hall closet. Talk about a wast of space! I decided to move the vase to above my kitchen cabinets and put the flower decoration thing in the DI pile which is now collecting on the already cluttered table in my living room. This isn’t the point though. (my cleaning is the point and yes you should be happy I cleaned.) I had this box of plastic wear on top of my fridge. Ya know plastic forks and cups along with some bowls. I moved these into a different box, because this one wouldn’t fit in my hall closet, I also collected all the other plastic cups, plates and forks in my cupboard and put them in my hall closet.
Wha-la! More space in my cupboard and now the top of my fridge is cleared! Having the box off my fridge I decided I should clean off the mounds of dust that had gathered this past year. I did that and opened the cupboards above my fridge and realized I had nothing in them!! Well this got me thinking, what could I put in these cupboards that I wouldn’t need. I checked my other cupboard and found nice glasses from our wedding that were saving for holiday use, ya know like china but we have no china, only these glasses. I also collected silverware that we don’t need just yet, the popcorn popper, some place mats that Jon won’t let me get rid of and our other regular vases. This freed up space in my other cupboard and I was able to organize it so my toaster is not on my counter anymore and our hot drinks are in one spot! (cocoa, teas, Ovaltine)
I rested, had lunch with the girls and decided to mop my kitchen. ( I had already done a major cleaning of my kitchen counters, I needed to mop the floors.) I was going to mop just my kitchen, but if you know me I also hate mopping just one area. I then mopped my bathrooms and hall. Eden woke up and became grumpy sometime while I was mopping in front of the computer. Lilah went down for her nap and Eden got up. I had her watching a movie so I could mop the worst area. The dinning room.
I enjoyed having clean floors until I returned home last night to find out that Lilah had tried to help Eden eat her dinner, but instead the bowl of white shells and cheese dropped on the floor. Oh well. That’s what I use baby wipes for; besides my baby, I use them to clean small messes on the floor.
Today my jaw aches. I must have been clenching it while I cleaned. I noticed yesterday evening it was tired. My shoulders, arms and legs ache.
I should mention I not only mopped but used a sponge on my kitchen floor for the hard spots. After I mop I take a rag and wet it and clean small areas with it to get extra dirt and cleaner off the floors. So I mop then wipe with the rag, rinse wipe etc. Very back intensive and leg intensive since I was squatting when I cleaned with the rag. This is why I don’t mop often. It becomes a huge half day event and I get achy. (I can’t mop just one area, then the dirtiness from the other areas will get my clean floor dirty.)
Anyways I justify missing my workout for all the soreness I have. Being on your feet for 6 hours should count as a 40 minute aerobic workout, right?
If you read all this I commend you. This is mostly me being happy about all I did, even though it was just a little organizing and a lot of mopping.
Ya want to know what I’ve accomplished today?รย Breakfast, this blog and watching Dumbo. I have dishes to do, but I’ve been cuddling with coughing sick girls. Really I needed the cuddles more than them. ๐
We’ve been having lots of fun at the Blake house.
I love watching my girls grow up and I can’t believe how fast they grow.
Things Eden’s doing: Well she copies Lilah in all that she does and she loves her sister. Morning noon and night it’s always Yiyah, Yiyah? If Eden wakes up before Lilah she always points to her sister and says her name. (She says Yiyah much more than she says dada or mama.) I also have to shut the door to their room if Lilah is still sleeping because I’ve found Eden sitting on Lilah’s bed next to her a many a time while her sister sleeps.
Eden’s following her parents example too. We don’t teach them much but we let them know that you smash boxes before you put them in the trash. Luckily this box was empty.
Lilah is getting more independent. We let her rub sunscreen on her and she got it all in one spot. She tried though.
It was a beautiful Saturday on March 10th so Jon suggested running in the sprinkler. I wasn’t too happy about it. I wanted to relax and not worry about them getting muddy or grassy. Oh well. It was fun for them.
I was at target the other night and I saw these shirts that said “everybody loves a blue eyed girl” They also have it for brown eyes, but no green! (not that I could wear a toddler size 6.)
I got one for each girl and they wore them yesterday to their classes at the church.
I put three pigtails on each girl. I loved doing this to Lilah when she was Eden’s age. Now that the mullet is cut I can do it!
I love this one because Lilah is posing a smile.
So much cuter in person.
(I want to tell why Lilah’s arm is in such a strange position. Eden kept walking towards me because she likes to look at the camera so Lilah was putting her arm in front of her so she would stay put. So when I asked Lilah to move it her arm went into this strange position. I just think it’s funny how she mothers her little sister. )
We also had a picnic after we picked Jon up at work yesterday. Well, we had it at his work since UNLV has such beautiful grassy areas.
We then went to a park afterwards that is on our way home. I wish I had brought the camera. Eden was hilarious! It was the first time she’d been on a swing and she had a ball. She had a concerned look on her face, yet she was smiling. She kept saying “whoa, whoa”, it was adorable.
I know I’m a terrible mom. Neither of my girls rode swings until they were at least 18 months or so. Not because I didn’t want them to but because we don’t go to parks often.
It was tons of fun and we may do the same thing next week when we pick up Jon.
In truth we’ve gotten up at the same time this week, it just happens to be 9:00am DST and 8:00am standard. This isn’t too good because church starts at 9:00 am. ๐
Jon’s doing his own boycott of DST. So in some ways I will be constantly reminded, or at least on some weekly bases know that it is only 8:00 not 9:00 and so forth. It makes saying goodbye to him harder in the morning because 6:30 am is just not my hour.
I really don’t like this DST thing except my late night shows come on sooner, which is good if they are on at 10 or later, but bad if they’re on at 9 because the girls are still up.
With DST time I mostly feel like a slacker because I get up “later”.
I just remembered I have to take Jon to work tomorrow so Lilah can go to her class. UGH!! 6:30 or I mean 7:30am really bits. I don’t have to be there tomorrow so maybe I won’t take her and I’ll just let us adjust to the change.This is really going to bite. At least we’ll all get good naps if I decide to go. I don’t want to wake up.
It was a regular night. The kids were in bed and we were settled on the couch. The TV was turned on to a show that we were only halfway interested in. I worked on a study sheet for my Journalism class. I had a test coming up in about ten days.
Jon turned to me at some point and asked “When does your birth control run out?”
“I have enough till the end of the week.”
He then nonchalantly asked “Can you go on it for another month?”
I thought this is strange. Just a few months earlier he had wanted me to quit so we could have our next child about two years after we had Eden, but I wasn’t ready for a third so I continued birth control and figured I would stop December or January.
I asked “Why do you want me to be on birth control? I thought you wanted to have another baby?”
He just replied “No reason. I just thought you might want to be on birth control longer.”
I knew their was a reason so I continued to prod him and ask him why.
Jon: “I don’t want to burden you now. Lets wait until finals are over then I’ll tell you.”
At this time finals were just over a week away.
Me: “I’m gonna go crazy if you don’t tell me. Now you have me interested and I must know what you’re talking about.”
After a little more coercion he gave in. He asked me to go to the bedroom so he could prepare something. I agreed and I took my study sheet and book with me.
I’m not sure how long it took him to compose the paper he wrote. He mostly was cutting and pasting material he had already written. I was actually able to distract myself and study while he did this.
I heard his fingers on the key board and I wondered what was up. He came to check on me a couple of times. I asked him what it was about. I tried to guess and I listed off several scenarios. I don’t remember what they were but my last one was, “You’re leaving the church.” He was already leaving the room and his reply was just “You ask to many questions.” The moment I said ‘you’re leaving the church’ I had a gut instinct and I knew that guess was correct.
I already knew that some of Jon’s idea’s on how to cope with sin and guilt were different from the churches. I already knew that he looked at the Mormon religion differently than others. I already knew that he believed if the Mormon church wasn’t true none others were.
He came in shortly after this. I believe the paper was just printing when in came in the last time so he just closed up what he had and brought it into me. It was short, just five pages. It’s title was ‘Reverse Conversion’. As I read it my hopes slipped form me. My foundation shook and broke to where I hardly had anything left to stand on. I cried as I read his words. I felt deserted. So much of what he had written coincided with my own doubts. I felt no one was there when I prayed. I felt that I gained little understanding from the scriptures.
As I read I felt that the one person I could look to for guidance was deserting me. That all his knowledge was false and that he didn’t believe as I did. It hurt to see someone I thought I could look to fall away. It hurt that I could understand and see why he didn’t believe. It worried me that I might become a nonbeliever.
The church gives me hope and I didn’t want to lose that hope. The thought of losing my family hurt me physically. I cried when I cuddled with Lilah at her nap times. I felt the sorrow deep within my body. The thought that I might stop believing knotted my stomach. I took that as a sign that it was true.Maybe I did just want to believe because I found it glorious, but I wanted to believe because to lose that meant darkness for me.
I cried until early that morning and we talked. Jon stayed home the next day and we talked or didn’t talk all day. I contemplated leaving him. If he couldn’t give me the eternal family I wanted then I would find someone who would. But what guarantee would I have that this wouldn’t happen again? What real knowledge in the gospel did I have that I knew this is what I wanted for the rest of my life? That I should split my family up over it? I wished I didn’t have children. That if life could be more simple so as to make this decision easier. I felt alone. I felt my prayers were in vain. I forgot my faith.
Time went on. I finished school and eventually I told my eldest sister, Andrea. I cried and I was barely audible at times as I spoke to her on the phone. It had been two weeks at least and I thought I had gotten past the shock. We were suppose to wait to tell people. We wanted to figure out and see if Jon received any revelation that there was a God.
As time past it seemed forever. A month was an eternity. I felt that we were lying and that we should just come out and tell someone. (More than just my sister who was in Ely.) At tithing settlement when the bishop asked if their was anything we needed to discuss we both shook our heads and said everything was fine. I felt torn up inside. Jon said that he’d felt that way for a long time and just telling me helped him.
Rather than wait and test out a few months we decided to just come out in January. Jon had been asked to help with a blessing and he felt nothing while doing it. He just tried to say the words he thought the woman needed to hear. That occurrence made him want to be free of the lie that he was living as a believer.
I suppose my faith was not strong enough to say, “lets give it four more months. Heavenly Father will show you what you want if we are both earnestly trying.”
He had already tried and been trying. He had been praying and reading the scriptures but felt nothing. What could I do to change that? Some might say I should have vigorously turned to the scriptures and gone to the temple and prayed. In some ways I felt that my husband had tried hard and long enough and it would only be in time, a long time, that he would come back, if ever.
My faith had been lost. I felt alone and I felt “Why would God not give my husband an answer if he was trying so hard?” I decided that it wasn’t up to me to help my husband’s faith. It was up to me to help my own. He had made the decision of not believing. In some ways I wanted to stop also. In some ways I fear. I fear that I will come to the same conclusion as Jon. I fear that I will gain a stronger faith and know that he is lost from me.