Is It Naptime Yet

Wednesday is my day off, that was until I registered Eden into a dance class and until I had to go shopping for costume stuff, but before that it was my day off from running errands and going places. It was the day the girls and I stayed home and did things around the house, the day we might actually get some school work done and the day I didn’t have to shower or leave my house.

Today I realized I really like having Wednesdays off.

I was going to go to the park today, but the rain kept me home. I was suppose to take Eden to her dance class, but I forgot until I looked at the clock at 11:26 and realized it had started 11 minutes earlier, because I had been so preoccupied that morning trying to find a 2′ x 3′ magnetic white erase board that didn’t cost tons of money, and would ship in 1-2 days, rather than 1-2 months.

So instead of being busy outside of the house, we were busy inside the house.

The girls did some school stuff while I did some searching on the internet.
I did the dishes and actually started the dishwasher.
I read the girls books and Lilah wrote two really long stories in her creative writing book.
I baked some frozen cookie dough for a treat, and Eden reminded me this was “no treats” week.
We played math Bingo.
We got rid of some old art projects and hung up some new ones.
Lilah vacuumed the floor for me.

Now we’re relaxing for just a moment before I have to go help my MIL get her car from the shop. Then hopefully I can get home early enough to cook a home-made meal and we can enjoy some corn on the cob with our dinner.

I really like my day off. I’ve got to make sure I get one of these days at least once a week. It helps me feel accomplished and ready to do more, rather than be stressed about the mess or all the chaos that is life.

There’s a blog I read where she does a month ends post about fun things her girls and husband did during the month. I thought it would be a fun idea so I’ve tried to take notes of cute things from this past month.

Lilah:
Being so excited for April Fool’s Day. You switched our cereal around so the Raisin Bran was in the Life cereal box and the Life was in the Raisin Bran box. It was an oatmeal day, but we had mixed up cereal instead.

Losing your tooth while daddy was away. I finally pulled it out for you, but boy was it an ordeal, now I know why I let you pull the first 6.

You were reading “Where the Red Fern Grows” and told me how the little boy fell on an ax and ended up dying. You acted it out with your eyes and body going limp.

Mommy ruined it. (Talking to Eden after I told you no to playing with our lanterns all day.)

Letting me lie next to you on the couch while you read a magazine. I was trying to give you some cuddle time, but I think it became more of a nap time for me.

You were so excited to check the mail and have the only piece of mail in the box. It was a collections letter of some overdue books. (The smile was worth the overdue book fee I had to pay.)

The way you walk with curly hair. You make sure it bounces.

Cleaning your room naked because you got ready for your bath too soon. (Sigh.)

Eden:
While making a “Welcome Home” card for Daddy you looked out our window and then promptly hid the card under the table because you saw Daddy’s car. I had to remind you he left his car here and we would be picking him up from the airport that night.

You were playing with a calculator and asked Lilah, “Lilah do you know what 5+29 is?” Lilah thought then answered 34. You then asked, “How’d you know that?”

While at Lilah’s dance class I wanted some cuddles, but you weren’t having it. I teased you I wouldn’t give you cuddles later that evening when you’d want some, since we always seem to want to cuddle at opposite times. You settled down for just a few minutes and let me hold you, then later that night you reminded me that I needed to cuddle with you. (Really, when I want to cuddle you don’t and when you do, it seems to be when I can’t.)

Humming me Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to help me fall asleep, but you ended up falling asleep first. You laughed about it afterwards and when I told you that you had slept for an hour and a half, you were like, “I must have been really tired.”

Easter morning you came in to talk to me, as you sat there, you looked out the back door and said, “I wonder where the Easter Bunny hid all the eggs?”

I was cleaning my closet and making room for my shoes. I mentioned to you that I had lost a brown flip-flop and you got a mischievous smile on your face. I figured out you had taken it and hidden it. I asked you to only hid the shoes I’m wearing. (Example: You like to hide my flip-flops when I take them off to have my feet on the couch.)

Jon:
While you sat doing taxes, “I’m doing taxes and you get to do your bloggy, bloggy stuff.” You’re weren’t very happy that I wasn’t looking over your shoulder and double checking what you were entering.

Thanking me for helping life run more smoothly at home while you’re stressed with work and school stuff. Even if I feel like I’m doing a terrible job, I’m happy that you’re not stressed with it right now.

I was singing, but you had a headache, As you left I teased, “You don’t like my singing?” and as you walked down the hall you said, “You could be the greatest singer and it would still be too loud.” then you popped your head back in the room and said, “And you are a great singer.” With your cute smile.

Going to see “Singing in the Rain” with me, and doing a 10 pm Del Taco stop. You teased that I wasn’t pregnant, so why’d I need Del Taco?

Helping me find a solution so I can sing at my recital, which is now the same night as the family night for co-op.(Sigh) You won’t be there, which still makes me sad, but Sam will tape it for us, then I’ll jet over to the family night in time to see the girl’s stuff.

Easter was a little odd for us this year. As I look at the pictures I took, I think of all the pictures I didn’t take. Like the eggs we dyed, or the girl’s baskets, the girls as they looked through their baskets, wait I wasn’t awake for that, or even one of the girls after the egg hunt. Yeah, it was an odd year for us, but I had a sinus infection and Lilah was sick, so I’ll use those as my excuses for why it was so off.

Saturday we went to my parents house to dye eggs. This year Glenn had his daughters so we were able to dye eggs with most of the cousins. (Minus Zarina and new baby Poppy.) Ajay is eleven, I think, and Kaycee is 8, but just barely. She gets her height from both parents, and is super tall for her age. She’s about the same height as Howie, who is 10 1/2, and if you look in the pictures and see how tall Howie is compared Lilah and Eden, you’ll get an idea of how tall Kaycee is, and she’s only 2 months older than Lilah, though Lilah gets her height from her short parents. (We’re both the shortest of our families.)

Eden waiting to dye some eggs, and those eggs in the cartoon have not been dyed. We were given some green eggs from Jon’s boss, and decided to try dying them. They turned out pretty cool. If only I had taken a picture…..

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Sorry it’s dark, but that’s just the lighting. (Howie, Lilah, Adrienne, and then Kaitlyn.)

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Kaycee, AJay, Eden and half of Howie.

~

Kaycee and AJay.

It was a fun little afternoon and I wish we had arrived earlier, or stayed later, but only because we weren’t able to be there on Sunday, but we wouldn’t know that till Sunday afternoon rolled around.

So on Saturday I was not feeling well. I was getting a sinus infection, and both girls were suffering from allergies. I slept on the couch that night because my head hurt, and wanted to be propped up. Lilah woke me up twice in the night, complaining of her stuffy nose and needing to use the bathroom. (I had a weird dream where I yelled at Lilah because she had gotten up like 4 times and I wasn’t getting any rest.) Some time in the early morning Jon came out and I moved to the bedroom.

So Easter morning both girls wondered out and checked out their baskets, I guess, because I wasn’t there! I was a little upset about this, but Jon wanted me to get my rest since I was feeling terrible. I’m thinking I’m going to make an Easter curtain, so they have to wait for me next year.

The girls were both suffering allergy like symptoms that morning and Lilah was not feeling well, so we had oatmeal for breakfast instead of cinnamon rolls. Jon went on a hike, and I had to teach a class, so the girls went to church that day. Lilah was not feeling well, but I thought it was just allergies, so after some convincing, she went to her primary class. I checked in on Lilah after that hour and she looked terrible and she was then running a low fever, so she was experiencing something more than allergies, and we all went home.

Once home we had the egg hunt right away, then lunch. Lilah got sick after eating an egg and since I wasn’t feeling well with my sinus infection, we decided to stay home rather than go to my parent’s for dinner and another egg hunt. We watched Tangled, which the girls got in their baskets, for the second time that day, and Lilah and I took naps on the couch, so really Jon and Eden watched Tangled. Cereal was our grand Easter dinner. Jon ate lots of candy, while the rest of us ate very little.

Eden poses for the camera.

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Lilah charges out.

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Ignore the dead bush and tall weeds. Just look at the cute girls.
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Like I said, it was a very odd Easter.

(Monday I went to the doctor and got a z-pack, so my sinus infection is clearing up nicely. It was bad and tonight I might finely sleep in my own bed. Lilah felt better by Monday, though both girls had terrible runny noses and coughs that continued till Tuesday. Today we were finally able to join the land of the living and venture out, though we still have some stuffiness.)

Here’s the mail it never fails, it makes me want to wag my tail and yell MAIL!

I no longer have a preschooler, and I only watched that show when I was at my parents, because we don’t have cable, but it was my favorite thing. I loved that show. (Blues Clues just in case you don’t know the song.)

Well, checking the mail is a fun thing in our house. The girls love to check the mail, and a couple years ago we think Lilah left Jon’s house keys in the mail box, which caused me to be really freaked out as I waited for a locksmith to come change our lock that afternoon. So now we’re pretty careful and make sure we get the keys back in our hands.

Anyways.

On Saturday Lilah checked our mail. As she came back into the house she was so excited. “There was only one piece of mail and it’s for me!” Receiving mail is few and far between for our children, so I thought it interesting and checked the return address. It was only the address, no business name, and it had “Return Service Requested.” Odd I thought, and Jon and I both gave each other questioning looks like, “Who is soliciting our kid?”.

Lilah teared it open with glee and Eden patiently looked on and asked what it was. “Hey, there’s another envelope,” which she promptly threw to the floor as she tried to get to the letter’s contents. Then she looked at the letter with a puzzled face, and I hopped over to read it.

It started off:

Account#:***********
Las Vegas- Clark County Library

Total Due: $220.26

We have made attempts to contact you about the lost materials and/or outstanding fines on your library account and have received no response.

“Oh, crap!” I think. The library books that we checked out earlier in the year, and I had just thought a couple weeks earlier, that I needed to return, had finally come to haunt me.

The letter went on, if we returned them, the fees would be removed, but we’d have to pay a $10 collection agency fee.

So I jumped in my car and went straight to the library with the 8 books.

I joked that I had received the “letter of shame” and one of the clerks responded, “Oh you received one of our death threats.” I returned the books and paid the fee on Lilah’s account. Supposedly everything is taken care of, but I can’t help but fear that I’ve really ruined something for her. Like there will be a note that this person has a tendency to not return books on time. Or as Jon pointed out, the collection agency’s fee will be on someone’s record. Just what a momma wants to hear.

Anyways, I’ve never been so happy to pay a fee at the library and will never hold onto books for so long, or better yet will return or renew them so they’re not late. It’s true that there is no late fee on children’s books, but that doesn’t mean you can keep them forever.

They will come after you.

So lately I’ve been spending lots of time with my friend Anna. We’ve just begun the sewing adventure that is costuming a play and so far I think we’ve only been annoyed with one another one or two times, maybe more for her….

Besides the shopping and planning for costumes, we also see each other on Mondays, since she teaches musical theater for my home-schooling co-op. I think her son is finally liking me, though it’s only when mommy is around. It’s amazing how little we saw of one another for a while, since we were both stay-a-home-moms and had nothing to do. Yeah, we were both pretty busy for the first 5 months of Alex’s life, and have finally started seeing one another regularly again. (I mean we saw each other, but not nearly as much as we use to see each other.)

Well, yesterday Anna had me come over to help with some of the costume stuff. I often don’t know how much of a “help” I am, since we have a tendency to talk and debate things, and talk. So yeah, I’m sure it’s more entertaining, but I’m also pretty sure it takes more time to have me “help” her. I often end up taking care of Alex, so I guess I’m at least helping in that way.

At first I didn’t want to head over to her house because it was her husband’s birthday, and as a school teacher he gets home early. She was saying we had at least an hour to do stuff before he got home, so I went over, since I’d be returning to an empty home for the evening, because Jon was on a work trip, and I didn’t really want to go home anyways.

We got a few things done, then Kevin came home. I was not wanting to hang out too late, so my plan was just till around 5, then I’d go so they could enjoy themselves. Since Anna knew Jon was gone she asked if I wanted to stay for dinner, but I didn’t want to intrude, so I said no. Then eventually she mentioned it to Kevin, and the girls and I ended up staying for dinner.

We ate outside then took a walk to a park near their house. This was to let the girls play, but also to get baby Alex asleep. We stayed till just before sunset and headed back to their house. Then it was time to pack up and go, after purchasing tickets for a play we’d be going to with them. Right before I left, Kevin gave a very sincere, “Lacey you are always welcome in our home.” and I no longer felt like an intruder upon their evening.

It’s funny because I welcome people coming into my house, but for some reason it can be harder going to a friend’s house. I guess it was more the spending time with them while the spouse is there, even if I’m friends with the spouse, I don’t want to be the 3rd wheel bringing along some spares. It was a good evening and I’m sure it was fun for the girls. They played outside, we all played Sorry while Kevin barbecued, and there wasn’t a grumpy mom in sight.

Once home, Eden went right to bed and Lilah and I stayed up waiting for Jon’s call. It was a little late that night since he had gone out with his co-workers, so we both got to spend the night in good company, even if it was separated from one another’s company.

I enjoyed my evening with Anna, Kevin, and baby Alex, and look forward to spending time with them and Jon, sans kids, in a couple weeks for our double date.

It’s nice to have good friends.

I let my girls fold and put away their own laundry. This is a good and bad thing. One, it’s good because I don’t have to do it. Two their clothes aren’t really folded nicely, so they always look like they’re wearing wrinkled clothes from the clothes hamper. And three, even though we have the drawers somewhat organized, they can still never seem to find what they need at times, like a matched pair of socks or even underwear on some occasions.

The girls each have two large drawers. One drawer is the regular clothes, shirts and pants, not a big deal, the other drawer is the underwear, socks, tights, undershirts, and pajama drawer. Lets just say socks and underwear get lost and it becomes a really big jumbled mess.

With my bringing out of the Spring clothes, just in time for it to get cold again might I add, I wanted to get things a little more organized and into actual compartments in their drawers. I thought I might buy some plastic containers to put in the drawers, for socks and underwear, then my friend Sam mentioned I could buy some drawer things to split the area, or make compartments. I thought I’d buy some, if I knew where to get them since I hadn’t seen them before, and mentioned it to Jon. Of course being the thrifty, waste not want not, kind of guy he mentioned that I should just use cardboard.

Cardboard?

I wasn’t too hot on this idea, but then I figured it was in their drawer, which only we see, I did have a big vacuum box I needed to recycle, and the final nail in the coffin, for two things, it was $20 at Bed Bath and Beyond. I needed 3 sets for the four drawers, so I would have needed to spend $60, and that seems silly when I got the dresser for free.

So I went to work making my ghetto fabulous drawer compartments, and I’m hoping it helps keep things a little more in order. Sure, they look cheesy, but hey, they get the job done and it only took a couple hours of cutting cardboard and taping them so they’d stay together, and not get cardboard bits everywhere.

So am I cheap or inventive? I think a little of both.

What I could have done for $60:

What I did for pennies, since the tape did cost me something.:

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So recently I’ve been doing a few things to try to improve myself. I’m wanting to be the best “Lacey” I can be.
For now it’s mostly taking voice lessons and exercising.

I’ve finally decided I like my voice, at least for the most part. I’ll be making a CD later this year with my voice teacher, so I’ll post some songs once that is done, maybe. We did a fun recording a couple weeks ago, and I was like, “Wow, that’s what I sound like.” It sounded much better than what I have on my voice recorder that I use for classes.

With accepting my voice, I think I’m also able to accept other parts of me, like my body.

I know I’m not over-weight or very large, but I have the weakest cardiovascular system ever, and like zero muscle mass. I know if I work on toning my muscles, especially my stomach, and build my cardiovascular endurance, then I can sing better. I enrolled the girls in a once a week class at our local rec center, and got myself a monthly gym pass to the gym there. The class is an hour an fifteen minutes long, so I can get a decent workout on the treadmill and elliptical. Then the girls also “babysit” for Sam once a week, and I go to the gym then, and she’s able to get things done while they entertain Matilda. It’s a win, win situation, because she also pays the girls, and they have lots of fun doing it, and we both get things down that we need to. (I now have to let them know when they’re “babysitting” and when Sam is the one watching them, so they don’t expect to be paid every time they go over.)
I also workout at home 2 to 3 days a week, and a man in my ward bugs me to make sure I’m doing what I’m suppose to do. For some reason being accountable to him helps me, since he’s a friend, but has little mercy for me or whatever excuses I might give. This is my third week and I’ve been able to go to the gym regularly, though I have slacked a little for my at home work-outs. One step at a time, right?

I’ve decided my motivation to exercise is not solely to lose weight. It would be so nice to lose weight, but I want to be a better healthier me, and live a healthier life in the long run. I’m really hoping that by making small changes, I can make them habits and keep them for life.

I’m also hoping that I can be a better dancer for when the play comes around each year. I’m always so out of shape, and I figure as I get older, I need to work harder so I’m not left in the dust.

A lot of this so far is so I can be a better performer, but it’s only been till now that I’ve ever felt courage enough to do these things. I’m so thankful to have Jon as my husband because he is so supportive and kind and very encouraging.

Lastly, I’ve also been reading, like novels. As silly as it seems, I read Pride and Prejudice after Christmas and it was the first book I had read for myself, solely on my own, and completed since I graduated from college 4 years ago. It was fun to read and I’m now reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. It feels nice to be improving my mind, or at least exercising it a little.

So I’m working on being the best me. Never mind that my house is a disaster a lot more since I’m home less, and we still use the same amount of dishes, and the girls still love to play and make messes.

I’m still learning how to balance me and the house, and the girls and life. It’s been hard, but I think overall I’m happier and I know that being the best Lacey is more important than an empty sink, or spotless house. (Not that I had a spotless house before.)

How can you be the best you?

So I was not cast as a lead this year. 🙁 But I am pleased with my auditions and how I did at callbacks. I feared I would go back into my old singing voice, but I was able to hold my own, and the poor guy who auditioned with me for the mayor’s part had to sing a little louder than he’s use to, but he’s a great singer and adjusted well to my very loud voice. I got a lot of good feedback and even though it’s on Facebook, I really don’t want to lose some of the encouraging comments I got, so I’m putting it in this post. 😉

Back story: My friend Heidi Green was called back with me for the Mayor’s wife. She was First girl last year, while I was Second girl. I told her and her husband how this was the part I wanted, and immediately she felt a little bad, since she didn’t know there was a Mayor and Mayor’s wife part till she and her husband were called back. We talked and of course, it was all about whoever is the best person will get the part, and not to worry about hurting my feelings. She was really cute and I thought she might get the part. In the end our Cinderella from last year was cast, which I kinda thought would happen when I saw we were in this callback together, and it was the only callback she had.

FaceBook comments after the cast list was sent out:

Heidi: Lacey, all I have to say is that I wish you were Mrs. Mayor. Especially because you’re humble. You did great at auditions.

Kelly (The Director): You both did great. This is why cast lists make me sad.

Me: I know. It’s hard. I’m happy to have put myself out there and actually say I wanted a part. That was a big step for me. I’m still happy to grow and learn from wonderful actors and directors.

Kelly: There were alot of tough choices made. You should be so proud of how well you did Lacey because you made it very hard for us.

Me: Thank you so much Kelly. You’re positive comments mean so much to me.

Kelly: I really mean it Lacey. Keep working and you’ll see that lead sooner than you think. Be more confident in your abilities because there is alot of talent and potential there. Trust me and ask my students when I say I don’t BS to make people feel better. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. You really did shine.

Me: I totally plan on working hard on my singing, acting, and even dancing ability. I’m slowly gaining that confidence and am happy to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
Thank you so much Kelly.

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I was also called back for a Bird Girl part, but I wasn’t holding my breath since I had to be able to dance, like really dance. I knew I could probably sing in a trio, but dancing proved to be my biggest hurdle. I won’t go into too many details, but I did fine while learning the dance, though I was not great, but when it came time to perform it, I came in early, forgot parts of it, and I’m sure looked a fool a little. It was fun, and I’m still happy I hung in there and didn’t cry when it was all over, or even feel inclined to cry, which is something the old Lacey would have done.

I’m still happy to be in the play, sad no doubt for not getting a lead, but I still have a lot of nervousness when it comes to singing and performing, and I hope that I’ll be able to get over some of it over the next year. My voice teacher is having a recital later this year, that she wants her adult students to be in too, and I still need to sing in church.

I will say I’m finally liking my voice when I hear it on recordings. I usually can’t stand to listen to it, but I’m gradually liking it, and that helps me to sing louder and more confidently.

This has been a great learning and growing experience and I just hope I can continue to put myself out there.

See you in Whoville this June. 🙂

Update: Due to a few drop-outs, I am now a Jungle Animal in the Jungle of Nool. I think I get to be a Zebra. If anyone has tips on how to “be” a zebra, let me know.

She showed up at the school a little before 6 pm. Auditions were to start at 6, and she was there to assist and audition. She said hi to the familiar face at the desk, Trish, a fellow theater committee member, apologized for not being there sooner, then grabbed an application to fill out.

She entered a room full of high school students, with a few middle school students and some parents. She thought, “I do not want to audition with a bunch of high-schoolers.” She quickly filled out the paperwork and returned to the hallway.

When she turned in her application she told Trish that she would wait to audition. She wasn’t ready and the thought of making a fool of herself in front of the teenagers was something she’d rather pass on.

The night went by quickly and a familiar faced showed up. It was the actress who played Cinderella in the play last year. She decided she would audition with her friend, and another actor, one of the step sisters, also came. They were in a group together.

They filed in and took their seats in the front row of the high school theater and waited for their directions. It was decided they’d go in numerical order, #14 was first, her number.

She handed the young lady running the CD player her disk and walked on stage.

Her nerves were getting the better of her and she could feel her body trembling. Jokes were passed between herself and the judges as the disk was cued. “Who are you?” the director teasingly asked. She repeated her name in a halfway pretending to be extra shy way, “Uh, I’m Lacey Blake and I’ve come to audition.”

The music started, but then the CD skipped as the young lady moved the player to face her on stage. She asked if she could start it once more, since counting was the only way to know when to enter the song.

She was nervous, she probably entered too early, but it was a blur.

She knew she was not singing her best, so she focused on what seemed like a million little things, all at the same time, and tried to remember the words.
A stranger in white, in a car. Going somewhere. Going Far!…
Let your jaw drop.
Sing out.
…How it must feel to go racing wherever you please…
Make your movements look purposeful.
Listen to the music so you stay on tempo.
…Oh gods, oh gods hear my prayer!…
Wait, you can’t hear the music!
Go through this part slowly.
Don’t close your eyes so long.
…I’m here in the fields with my feet on the ground…
Use your whole body.
...And my fate in the air, waiting for life to begin!
Stopped being nervous.

The song ended in what seemed like just two seconds, but it was really one minute and ten seconds later.

Right after she finished the artistic director made a comment, “Lacey, I just want to say that was 100% better than your audition last year.” He was last years director.

She was flattered, but then the negative comments her brain automatically produce crept in, “He just said that to make you feel better, for when they don’t call you back or give you a lead.”

She watched the other women audition. She thought how wonderful they were and how they seemed to be so naturally talented. “Look how they get into their songs. They were so much better and they don’t even need voice lessons.”

She ran her hands through her hair and waited for it too all be over.

She exited quickly and found her way to her things near the desk. As she put away her CD, the other ladies exited and began talking, complimenting one another, reassuring each others egos. They didn’t notice her across the way or say anything, she thought it was because she was so bad and they didn’t want to give her any compliments out of pity.

After all the auditions were over she went into the theater. The director said, “Lacey, you actually have a very pretty voice. It’s very light and I really like that quality.” She said thank you.

Then the artistic director told her he thought she should audition for other theater groups. She found it hard to believe he meant it, but knew he wouldn’t suggest such a thing if he didn’t really mean it.

It’s hard to accept compliments after years of self doubt and deprecation. She really wants to be a better singer and performer, but she has never believed that she could be good enough, or had a nice enough voice to be a soloist. She’s always worried about making herself look like a fool by believing or acting like she had a beautiful voice, but really not having a nice one.

She’s now trying to change her thought process and her own beliefs about her voice.

It’s hard, and even though she hates to rely on others compliments, that is what’s helping her build her foundation. She can’t find her voice by herself, it takes a wonderful teacher, a supportive husband, and compliments she feels are genuine, but she is working hard and it’s developing.

So she’ll continue to sing, and maybe she will make a fool of herself, but at least she’ll be having fun, and at least a few people like her voice, and at this moment that’s all that matters.

Just two days later she was sent an e-mail and was invited to come back for callbacks. There are a lot of talented singers in the mix, so she’s finding joy in just being invited, hopefully she makes the final cut, but if not, she’ll know that she at least tried and finds comfort knowing that she’s getting better.

This won’t be the last play she auditions for.