Is It Naptime Yet

Monday I cleaned a little.

Tuesday I did other stuff, and got very angry at Eden that morning. It was my first of a few disputes with my ornery girl.

The girls had their second song practice for the upcoming ward dinner, anyone who wants to go let me know and I’ll send you the info, and Eden participated with all her heart. I’m not sure if me being outside for the first part of it helped, or singing the song throughout the day, but either way she sang. ( I was outside talking to Sam and we both agreed that if we were having a hard day we should call the other so the girls could play and we could get adult interaction. She also had a very hard day with Britta. )

Wednesday we were gone all day. First to Target then to lunch with Anna, which was a picnic at a park that the Life learners, or unschooling group, was meeting at. After she left I waited and chatted with the different families that showed up and left early to get to my mom’s house. I then hung out at my mom’s while she embroidered names on towels for my friend. Eden fell asleep on the car ride home so Lilah and I went to get dinner. Jon actually came home around 4, but I was upstairs and hadn’t heard the cell phone ring, though the towels weren’t done so it wouldn’t have mattered much anyways. I just hate losing that time.

Thursday was the class with Beth and not a very good day.

Friday I did a grocery store run and then Sam and Britta came over for lunch and the afternoon. The girls had fun playing and we had fun talking and making granola. I also tried to pick up a hot pan with my bare hand, that didn’t feel too good and the ice pack I think saved me from getting any blisters.

I made a delicious Chicken Teriyaki for dinner, only I cut off a small part of my thumb, it’s just a tip and really not that much, though I fear it will never be quite the same, it still hurts and bled this morning when we changed my bandage. I guess I should be very careful with my Cutco knives, and I think that every time I slice something with one of them, which is more often than I care to admit.
I actually cut myself at the very beginning and carried on through cutting up the vegetables. Using only one good hand and three fingers, since my pointer finger was busy holding the paper towel to my wound. I don’t think I got any blood in it and was careful to throw out the chicken that I was cutting when I cut my finger. I’m not a restaurant, so I don’t have to be up to code. Some days are A days while others are you cut yourself and carry on so your dinner isn’t extremely late days.

Today was a bit of a lazy day. I am wounded and all. I’ve worked on my lesson, talked to my MIL, watched a movie with the girls and all that jazz. Jon went to his office to have some time alone for studying. Lilah and I posted two posts on her blog, which has been greatly neglected.

Soon it’ll be time for putting the pizza in the oven and enjoying Lilah’s smoothie creation, which will be posted on her blog soon. (She loves to make up recipes, though most are not viable ones, but this one sounds like it might work out. )

The weather is finally suppose to turn cold this upcoming week. We’ve been enjoying above average temperatures, in the 70’s during the days. I’m not a fan of Winter so while I want it to turn cold so I can wear some cute long sleeves I’ve bought, as it turns cold and I have to sit at the computer wearing a blanket, I remember why I don’t like the cold.

I’d much rather be hot than cold.

If you know my little family well, you know we don’t spend a lot of money on Christmas and gifts. We try to keep it to a minimum. Partially so it’s not some huge financial burden, partially because we want Christmas to be about more then just the gifts we receive, but mostly because I follow Jon’s wise counsel in not going into debt over a holiday. I admit the child in me wants a lot of things, but in reality the things I want, clothes and shoes, are not things my husband will ever buy for me and as the girls grow I get a little stumped on what to buy them.

Anyways, this year we decided to buy an XO laptop for Lilah. I saw it as a present for the girls, but I think it will be more Lilah’s laptop and when Eden is five, if they’re still  doing the program, we’ll hopefully be in a similar, or better situation, and will able to buy her one as well.

It arrived in the mail yesterday and Jon opened it up to check it out last night. We couldn’t do much with it because it asks for a name and we want Lilah to sent it up, blah, blah, blah. I so want to tinker with it, but I will just have to wait till Christmas.

Buy purchasing an XO laptop, we also give a laptop to a child in a poverty stricken area, so part of the expense is also tax deductible.

We thought long and hard about it, it’s not every day we drop $400 on one child, except the cost of hospital bills, if you want to count that, but decided it was a good investment and worthy charity.

Jon lists his reasons for liking the laptop on his blog. I think it’ll be fun for Lilah and I won’t have to share my computer so much. We bought a wireless Internet router since Jon will eventually be receiving a laptop for his work and so Lilah will have Internet access also. I joked that if we bought me a laptop we could get rid of our desk in front of the fireplace, but since this computer is only 2 years old, I don’t see a laptop in my future anytime soon.

I am excited for Lilah’s gift and I think she’ll have a lot of fun with it, the most challenging part being the touch pad mouse will be new to her, but it’s a real computer and it will have Internet access and different learning programs. I see it as a great learning tool for her and lots of fun.

I’ve been a crazy mom lately, and not in the good way, in the crazy temper way.  I’m sure I’ve been stressed lately, but even when I haven’t been stressed I seem to go off on little things, that are really from an accumulation of stuff.

Eden had a period where she peed on the bathroom floor once a day for about 5 days straight. She also has really not been listening lately and when the girls aren’t getting along, they are not getting along.  Lilah is doing mostly OK, though we have hard times with school sometimes. I think she is highly aware of my temper and knows when to stay out of my way because I’m mad at Eden or frustrated with something else. I try not to be angry at her when dealing with Eden, but sometimes she gets caught in the cross fire. I feel terrible because I see cautiousness in her when I’m just slightly annoyed and I don’t want her to have to walk on tip toes around me.

Today I went a little unhinged when Eden refused to get her sandals on so we could go to Beth’s. I had asked her a few times and she just didn’t want to.

I’m now enforcing an I ask them once rule and if I have to ask them twice they’re going to time out. Really it’s, I ask them once, if they don’t do it I ask them what they need to be doing and if they don’t start doing it or reply I don’t know, they go to time out.

For some reason Eden has really been testing my patience. When it was time to leave Beth’s she ran away from me instead of listening and then cried until we left, basically because I took her inside for not listening and running away. Beth and her girls felt so bad for her, but I did not because she knew what needed to be done and decided not to do it and run away from me. I think we’re both running low on patience and she’s testing the boundaries.

I’ve also enforced a cleaning up method of setting the timer for 15 minutes and they have to clean up and decide what needs to be picked up and whatever left on the floor will be taken away or thrown away if it’s paper. They’ve been making crafts constantly and it’s tiresome to always have paper on your floor. This has been working and I’m trying not to direct and say exactly what they need to pick up. Jon mentioned how I do this, so they don’t take the initiative, but instead wait for mommy to tell them what to do, or I tell them what to do before they take the initiative. I was upset at the time he told me this advice, partially because I was trying to get them to pick up and they were not doing it, but I see his wisdom in not always micromanaging, though I’m sure this is somewhat the root of my parenting problems.

Anyways, we had a better afternoon, I cuddled with Eden,  read to them and they listened well and we all took naps. I also finally got my floors mopped, though my lesson for Sunday is still unread. I guess I’ll be working on that tonight and tomorrow.

I’m highly aware that I’ve been really grumpy lately and I’m trying to remedy this by having a less chaotic home with children that do things when they’re suppose to. I guess I’ll also have to be more aware of what I’m asking them to do, so they don’t have to go to time out for little things.

Now that my obligated sewing is done I now need to make pajamas for Eden and maybe before Christmas I’ll have a robe or apron done  for me and my grumpiness will be replaced with holiday cheer.

I hope.

Lilah loves being healthy, or really eating things that will help her be healthy.

She likes flax seed because it helps her brain, or makes her smart. One time when she was reading and I said she was doing really well she said it was because of the flax seed, I said it was because she was smart and flax seed just helped her brain, but she was the smart one. She seemed to still put a lot of credit on the flax seed, which she had been eating with yogurt a lot at the time.

I watched a video on this Cookus Interruptus site. It was on how to properly cook collard greens, and the chef said how they were the most nutrient rich food on the planet, and Lilah now repeats that every time we have collard greens, which she happily eats, and always has happily eaten, even when I steamed them and they were more bitter.

Yesterday I was having some sweet potato fries that were left overs. I asked if the girls wanted any and they both said no. I said how they have vitamin A in them which is good for you eyes and then Lilah was all over having some.  She said they would help her see clearly.

I don’t know many children who will try, or eat things, just because you say they’re good for you.

At one point she swore off candy because it’s bad for you, but that didn’t last, but we also taught her that some things, even if they’re bad, are OK in moderation, or small portions.

I told my friend Sam about Lilah’s eating habits, and she asked to trade kids because her daughter is a very picky eater, and it doesn’t matter what you say, she won’t eat it if she doesn’t want to. Eden takes more of this approach and it’s kinda cute to watch Lilah try to persuade her to try something because it’s good for you.

I just hope Lilah keeps this appraoch to eating and trying new foods and that Eden someday learns from it.

This morning I had to have some blood work done, and it had to be fasting blood work, so I couldn’t eat breakfast until after it was taken.

I got the girls and me to the lab and we signed in and waited. The receptionist told me I was the first person in about a month and a half who had completely filled out the lab work paper. I asked if that was good or bad and she said good. We then settled for our wait. I gave the girls some animal crackers for a snack since none of us had had breakfast. (I thought going to IHOP would be fun as kinda a mom date with me.) I saw smiles from a woman across the room who watched them and especially at Eden when she was looking at her magazines and talking.

I got called in after about 20 minutes and the blood drawn.

We then went to IHOP, which apparently Lilah doesn’t like since she announced that as we were pulling into the parking lot.

I had my french toast and the girls had different pancakes. Lilah’s pancake had a face made out of strawberries, banana’s and whip cream. They gave her a gogurt to decorate her pancake face with. She had lots of fun doing that and then ate slowly, so Eden and I talked while Lilah finished eating.

I then ran to Smith’s for a few items. While I was parking the car Lilah got sad about her pancake face, she wanted to take it home to save and show Daddy. (She’s been very emotional lately and it wears on my nerves at times.) I told her we could draw a picture, or she could describe it to Daddy to help him picture her creation. That seemed to calm her down and we went on with our shopping.

I’ve been home for a little bit now, and the girls have been mostly good, but I’m a little grumpy. No doubt from feeling a little overwhelmed. My house is in some form of constant chaos and I have sewing that needs to be done. I also have three emotionally charged girls in the house, me being the third if you didn’t catch that.

I guess, I feel overwhelmed but more in the way that I know I shouldn’t feel overwhelmed, but I do. I have a lot at hand that needs to be done and all of it is within my capabilities, but I just don’t want to do it which makes me feel weak or lazy.

I’ve worked pretty hard all week, and I’ve accomplished a lot, but I just feel like I’m not really accomplishing a lot because it’s still crazy around here and there is still so much to do.

Update: I took a very long nap, way longer than I needed or planned, and after rushing to get a simple dinner, finish the ends of one table runner, and having Jon come home I feel more myself.

It was just a lonely, down day.

We have a little neighbor girl, I’ll call her J,  who comes over somewhat regularly, in an irregular way. We see J a lot and then we don’t.

During the summer J took a bug catching net home with her, but she visits her grandma who lives across the street from us, so it went to her real home. The day right after she took it she had come over to play, but I was busy making something where time was of the essence, kneading rolls comes to mind, and my hands were dirty and I was unable to get the net from her at that very moment. She had stayed the night at her grandma’s and had brought over her suitcase, what she had taken the net it, but I was too busy. I told her to come over later that day but we didn’t see her until the next week and of course the net was at her real house by this time.

When J came to play Lilah would ask about the net and tell her it’s not nice to take things. I don’t know the exact age J is, but I believe she’s right in between Lilah and Eden in age, or around 4 to 4 1/2.

I would remind Lilah to not worry about the net, but of course it was something precious to her and she wanted it back. Lilah stopped asking for the net and began not playing with J when she would come over and after J left Lilah would mention how not nice J was for taking the net.
I would try to tell Lilah that sometimes people don’t understand that they shouldn’t take things and to forget about the net.

Yesterday it happened again.

J had come over and Eden was playing with her, but Lilah would not. Later in the car as we drove to Beth’s house Lilah mentioned the bug net. I then started talking to her about grudges and forgiveness. Our conversation went something like this.:

Me- Lilah it’s not nice to hold grudges against people.  J didn’t mean to hurt you by taking the bug net, she just didn’t know better and decided to take it for herself. You need to forgive her.

Lilah- What’s a grudge?

Me- A grudge is when you’re mad at someone for a long time and you don’t forgive them. Would you like it if I stayed mad at you for something you did a long time ago?

Lilah- No.

Me- So you need to forgive J and move on and be her friend.

I guess our talked worked, or made an impact, because when J came over today Lilah actually played with her a little. Of course their interest are different so it only lasted for so long, but I was happy to see Lilah trying to play with her rather than trying to ignore her.

This year Halloween fell on Nevada Day observed, or the last Friday of the month, so Jon got the actual Nevada Day off and was able to spend the day with us. He worked on his paper throughout the day and was nice enough to take pictures of us taking our the seeds and guts of our pumpkin and handed out candy that night while I took the girls around.

Our tradition is to carve our pumpkin Halloween day. So the girls helped me gut the pumpkin. Eden really didn’t like getting so messy, while Lilah sat there and played with the seeds and guts.

The poor pumpkin had no idea what fate awaited him.

The only Picture Eden was smiling. All the others she has that look of disgust.

Lilah drew a face, which I transferred to the pumpkin.

Eden chose a picture from the carving kit I bought. (Her expression here just made me smile.)

I came up with my face on my own.  (Lilah took this picture.)

I got the girls ready a little before dark so we visited Beth’s house and Eden’s old nursery leader.

We then came back to our neighborhood and took the girls to the other four houses on our little block that were participating. Jon stayed home and handed out candy. We went through about 6 of the 8 bags and I will have Jon take some candy to work because we have plenty of candy from the girl’s adventures.

After going down our block I took the girls to my parents neighborhood. I took them down the cul-de-sac my parents live on and one more. We hit around 20 house but still came home with so much candy. I’m not sure why I took them down the second street. Lilah was just so into trick or treating and I guess the child in my wanted as much candy as we could get. Lilah started complaining about her bag being too heavy and I had to carry Eden’s bag for her towards the end. We have way too much candy for our house. I only let the girls choose one piece a day at lunch and I’m actually trying to not eat that much due to watching my weight, and Jon only eats a piece maybe once a week. I’m thinking I may put some in the freezer for Christmas. “I don’t know why you got gum with a jack o’ lantern on it or that gummy spider.”

Candy from our previous adventures.

Candy from Halloween night. (I don’t know if you can tell, but this bowl holds more than the 1 gallon bucket. )

I’ve noticed that even in my parents neighborhood, where there are a lot of families, there are not a ton of kids running door to door and only about 1/4 of their neighborhood participates in handing out candy. When I grew up there were kids everywhere swarming the streets and you rarely had a house that didn’t hand out candy. I feel like they miss out on some of the excitement I had has a kid.

Lilah still loved trick or treating and even though her bag was “getting so heavy” she persevered. Too bad she as a once piece of candy a day mom rather than a pig out on candy one night mom.

I just have to make a note of this before I post about our Halloween festivities. Lilah is on the floor reading a book to Eden. It’s a board book so it has some words she doesn’t know, but that’s not fazing her. (Some  board books  have harder words since you’re suppose to read it to your child, compared to books for beginning readers. )

If my battery were in my camera instead of charging in my kitchen I’d take a video. I think she’s doing rather well and I love that’s she suggested reading a book to Eden and Eden is patiently listening to her big sister reading to her.

Lilah’s reading is really taking off. She knows so much and really enjoys reading books we borrow from Beth or we take out from the Library.

Lilah’s getting too big.

Wednesday night was our final Halloween event.

It was a carnival type affair at a local recreation center. Sam signed Britta up and I signed Lilah and Eden up. We met there in the chaos of Halloween fun.

They had lots of different activities for the children to wait in line for and attempt to try and all the children got candy whether or not they succeeded.
There was digging for treasure in a box full of shredded paper, throwing balls into a small blow up coffin with a skeleton, knock down the cans, and the like.

Eden was very weary of the evening. All the people and the high noise level had her clutching my hand all night, especially after we had the fire alarm go off for around 20 minutes. It was a false alarm, and mostly annoying, but not tremendously loud, though Eden covered her ears has much as she could since she only had one hand, like me.   I got so use to her holding my hand it began to feel strange if she wasn’t grasping it.

Lilah loved it and said it wasn’t too loud. I love that she loves Halloween this year. I think it’s adorable. She even wanted to go into the haunted house, but the line was too long and I was nervous about Eden. Instead they did the jumper obstacle course, which was Eden’s favorite. I think the night air and the lack of loud jarring music made it a lot of fun for her.

They had a cake walk and Lilah won our first time around! She was kind enough to share her cupcake with us. We played once more, but did not win.

It was a fun night, even though it was very busy and crowded. It wasn’t to the point that I felt like it was a waste of time and all the employees were very nice.

We’ve already filled up our gallon ice cream bucket with candy. I’m not sure if we can take much more candy.

Here are the girls doing the jumper obstacle course.

Add they’re off.

There was a mesh siding so I couldn’t take any pictures till the end.

Lilah having fun jumping while we waited for Eden.

Eden finishing. She had landed funny before this so she was a little hurt in this picture.

Tomorrow is Halloween and Nevada Day observed so Jon is at home with us. (Yay!)  I can’t wait to carve our pumpkin and maybe I’ll start cutting out the table runners. I’ve really been avoiding them for some reason, though I need to get over it no later than Monday.

Lately we’ve been having a lot of discussions with Lilah on trust, telling the truth, and lying.  Mostly we’ve tried to give examples of lying and then talking to her when we think she’s lying.

Like she had this rude habit of growling at you if you said or told her to do something she didn’t like. It might have been slightly micromanaging, but we we’re trying to teach her it’s not polite to growl at us just because she’s upset at what we had to say. When I’ve pointed out she’s growled and made her go to time out she would lie and say she was just clearing her throat. I would calmly confront her and explain why I thought she was lying about clearing her throat, but she would continue to deny it was a growl at us. Fortunately the growling has stopped, but there continue to be other teaching moments about lying.

When Lilah lies I try not to lay on the guilt or discipline super heavy. We try to explain that a loss of trust is what happens when she lies, and that is the main consequence. When she growled at me the time out was for growling at me, not lying about growling at me.

Tonight Lilah had her first “confession” of something she had done wrong. I’m know their have been other times she’s lied, but she could have gotten away with it tonight had she not felt guilt and the need to tell us what she had done.

The girls had been put to bed and about 20 minutes later Lilah came out. I asked her what she wanted, and she just continued to go to the kitchen. I told her to get back in bed and eventually she came out of the kitchen and went to Jon. She then started to get teary eyed, something I had no sympathy for. Jon asked her what was wrong and she told us she had eaten a piece of candy. Apparently she had taken this candy to bed rather than putting it in the candy bucket, and after eating it needed to throw the wrapper away.  We reacted calmly and told her the consequence would be not having candy tomorrow, but were thankful she had told us. Jon put her into bed and I came into give more hugs. I talked to her about the candy incident and she began to cry again saying she had forgotten, her most used excuse. I stayed calmed and talked about why I knew, she knew, that candy was not allowed that night. I let her know that I loved her and was happy that she had told us the truth, but she wouldn’t have any candy tomorrow. Some might see her crying as a manipulation, but I know it was from feeling bad that she had done something wrong.

We’re dealing with lying on a very low key basis. We’re trying to instill that  a loss of trust means a loss freedom. If I can’t trust her to not tickle me when I hug her, than our hugs are restricted to such a way that she can’t tickle me. If I can’t trust her to not play with the tape measure, it’s taken away and I mention that the consequence is from a loss of trust.

I want my children to feel that they can still come to us without us blowing things out of proportion if they’ve lied to us or someone else. A loss of trust can be a devastating thing, they don’t need to feel any extra burden of punishment from me. I want them to feel the loss of trust, which then becomes a loss of freedom,  is the worst consequence, not my wrath.